Just Super.


4. Movie?

“Crap man, what happened to you?”

Gorgy should’ve been in the movies, not only was he obese but he was also a dwarf and as deprecating as that may sound it was actually a very rare condition. Gorgy had been approached by five members of Hollywood, all of whom fantasized they’d ‘discovered him’.

He rejected all the offers, explaining they were too late; McDonalds had already discovered him.  So he kept his job as a celebrity chef at the local McDonalds and supplying Scott and the rest of the free economy with McDonalds in exchange for fuel up cards to fill his Honda scooter with.

“It’s because I had a religious experience,” Scott told him, “My body movements have changed, As I walk I appear greacful and there’s a twinkle in my eye right?”

“Ahh,” Gorgy stroked his chin, “I was more referring to the fucking scars up and down your arms.”

“Oh that,” with a shrug Scott offered Gorgy the computer chair, while he sat on his bed, “I got mugged by some thugs.”

“Aww, shit man.” Gorgy got up and helped himself to the Red Bull stash Scott kept under his bed.

“They stole my bike.”

“Aww, you loved that bike.” Gorgy had a technique for getting high on energy drinks, he popped the top off two cans and turned them upside down over his mouth. As the energy flowed down his throat he let out a few loud *Glugs*.

“And then they pissed on my Levis.”

Gorgy threw one of his empty cans into the bin, “Crap man, those Levis were your favourite. Bloody heck, they’re just lucky I wasn’t there. I tell you Scott if I’d seen them hurting you...”

Gorgy jumped off the seat, he was smaller standing then he was sitting, “And then I’d give them the old; one, two. Like my uncle showed me.” As Gorgy threw his little arms at imaginary opponents Scott laughed, eventually getting on his knees and attempting to wrestle the dwarf, who after failing to execute a ‘galaxy nipple twist.’ Just sat on Scott until he gave up.

“You coming to the cinema man?” He asked taking another Red Bull and sitting back on the computer chair. “Josie got some time off and has tickets to Pirates 5.”

Scott placed the folded up checklist he’d made earlier in his pocket, “Well I’ll come to the cinema, but I don’t think I’ll watch a movie… I got some business I’ve got to sort in that end of town.”

Before he’d graduated fifth grade Gorgy had mastered the art of spraying whatever liquid he was drinking from his nose, it was a skill he used often in his life and mostly to his friends detriment.  On Scott’s mention of business he let the nasal spray loose, catching the bubbly red liquid in an empty Red Bull can, “Man, what do you mean you have business over there? That’s where the rich people live.”

Scott just kept his arms folded.

“Hey, it’s not anything to do with that superhero stuff is it? Because remember when we tried to steal that action figure from that house with two swimming pools and the guy came and caught us.” Gorgy pointed his finger at Scott, “The only reason we escaped from that place was because I let him kick me up the arse. I swear if he hadn’t fallen to the ground laughing I would’ve knocked him out right there and then.”

While the topic was a grim one, Scott had to clench his teeth together and scratch his uninjured left fist to keep him from laughing at the memory of Gorgy getting his butt kicked. “No, I’m not going after just models.” He paused for a moment, “Well actually I kind of am, but just not those sort of models.”

“What do you mean?” Gorgy closed his eyes slightly as he spoke.

“Well I guess you could call it a date…” On their own Scott’s fingers slid into his front pocket, closing around his list. Gorgy would roast him for weeks if he saw the binoculars addition.

Even so, the dwarf wasn’t satisfied, “A date… You got a date in money metropolis… please tell me it’s a girl.”

“Oh, no, crap, yeah it’s a girl. She’s a model.”

Again, with perfect timing Gorgy sprayed Red Bull out of his nose, this time onto Scott’s carpet.

“That’s the biggest lie I’ve ever heard, there’s no way you could score a model from money metropolis. Even I would struggle with that.”

Scott shook his head, pushing the list deeper into his pocket, “You remember Vanessa Kerouc from highschool?”

“Yeah, sure I do. She was one of the few girls who weren’t constantly craving my attention.[1]” Gorgy was onto his fifth Red Bull, the caffeine overload combined with his small size was beginning to make him twitch.

“Well, she got scouted by a modelling company in her second to last year. Basically she’s rich now and really pretty and I’m going over to hang out.”

Gorgy shrugged, “Okay whatever. She wasn’t that hot now that I think about it, maybe she’s one of those people who advertise wellness products.” Gorgy waved his hands in the air like he’s meditating. Like they have to have some ugly people on them to let us know that normal people can use them too, not just fucking movie stars.

Having zoned out a little bit as he wondered whether she’d be undressing like Mary-Jane on Spiderman or he’d discover that he could fly and would leap onto her balcony… Scott rapidly focused back in, “Well I think she’s the most beautiful girl in the world and you…” he pointed to an area just in front of Gorgy’s folded legs, “… have just stained my carpet with your childish nose-snorts.”

Standing up, and scuffing his shoe in it so that the red was partially hid and mostly just spread around Gorgy motioned for the door, “Let’s go, your lack of experience with woman is making me late for my movie.”

Scott left some food in Simon Scowl’s bowl, which was already full. Then closing his door and taping a rubbish bag to the hole in his window left for the basement cinema.


[1] Not only was Gorgy captain of the Elite PorkHill piggyback racers, his small size allowed him to appear venerable attracting a few sympathetic souls to their 

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