Bad Things

Of all the men mom had married, there wasn't a single one that could replace my dad. Except one.

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20. The Best Decision

I had always thought of what it felt like to find a man you knew would be the love of your life. I wanted to meet a man who would gaze into my eyes in the manner my dad gazed into the eyes of my mom. The two of them were both madly in love with one another. I half-expected for my mom to ever find the happiness and love that she found in my dad in another man. I am really happy for her since she married Jared. He has truly completed our small family. Mom's previous husbands, with the exception of Harry, didn't amount to my standards when it came to having another father-figure in my life. Though I had never imagined of being with Harry, even when I met him six years ago.

Since meeting Harry, my entire scope of the way I viewed life has changed. I remember my previous relationships ending badly. I think of it as not the wrong time. It just was with the wrong people. It didn't fit. What I had felt with them was nothing like the way I was feeling with Harry. When he touched my hand, I felt safe. Being near him, I had always felt comfortable and warm. His eyes, beautiful and green, gave me a sense of what it was like to finally be in love. "I'm forever yours Mr. Styles." I kissed his lips, which was my way of accepting his proposal.

Six Months Later

In my 26 years, I have had occasional dreams about my future wedding. I remember the first dream as if it were yesterday. I was 10. Though in my early childhood days, I would play pretend weddings with my Barbie dolls. I would be the minister and marry off my dolls. Of course, I didn’t know the exact words, even when I was 10. I remember what I wanted as flowers to type of wedding cake. yet, of the family and friend weddings I participated in as the flower girl, there was one component that I’ll never have. It was the father-daughter dance. I would always be watching the brides dancing with their fathers, except at my mom’s wedding. She preferred to share that dance with me. It was always our tradition, even when I had step-fathers. However, when mom married Jared, we weren’t able to have our traditional dance.

The day that I have waited for is finally here. All of our preparations have been completed. I have moved back into Harry’s place after clearing out all of Jade’s belongings. I was just glad to be with Harry after having been apart for over a year. Eleanor and Sophia were both chosen to be my bridesmaids. Perrie was my Maid of Honor. Louis was Harry’s best man with Liam and Niall as his groomsmen. All of the invitations have been sent and the guests had arrived. I was more than happy to be sharing this special day with my close family and friends. I could not believe that I was marrying the love of my life. “You ready hun?” Mom had entered my dressing room to check up on me. My friends had already taken their positions. I could feel my heart beating rapidly against my chest. I’m not sure if I’ve ever been this nervous in my life before. I told my mom that I was nervous. She had given me a reassuring hug and told me that the only thing I should focus on is Harry. I asked her about the day when she married dad and how she felt. She had pulled away from the hug. We sat down on the couches in the room because we had a few minutes to spare.

“I was as nervous as you are. I remember my mother, your grandmother, had walked in to see me in a nervous wreck. I was frantic. I was telling her that I wasn’t sure whether I should go through with the wedding. At the time, I was about your age, except I didn’t exactly have a stable income. You know, I was raising you and trying to be successful. I wanted my own business as well; and it took some time to achieve that go for myself. I remember telling my mom that I wanted to just wait another year or two; and your grandmother knew that if I backed out, the wedding would never happen. Also, she knew I was pregnant with you. I was 24; and I remember I was feeling nauseous all morning. I couldn’t eat anything, let alone stomach any food down without feeling like I had to throw up. This is what she told me: ‘I know that man. I know that the man you are marrying will be the best father to that child, who is growing inside of you. I know what you’re afraid of. I know you’re afraid that you won’t be able to have that dream business of yours. I know that you’re afraid that you’ll be a stay home mom to raise that child. You are my daughter; and your father would’ve been proud to be here today. Your future is with your future husband and that child, who both will be wonderful blessings. You are going to be a wonderful mother; and you are going to be a wonderful wife to that man, who is more than lucky to have you because I’m lucky to have you. Your father was lucky to have you; and your child will soon realize that he or she is lucky to have you in their life. I know that someday when your son or daughter will be getting married that you will find the right words to tell them. If they ever think about backing out, tell them that the best decision you’ll ever make in your life is marrying the love of your life.’ The look in your eyes that you have for Harry was the same look I had for your father 26 years ago and is the look I had when I married Jared. That’s the love that’s rare and will never be able to go away or be replaced. Harry is more than lucky to have a woman like you in his life because to speak in terms of your best friend, I am the second person that knows you best. You and I have always been close since the very day I found out that you were a girl.

“I knew that it was going to be difficult to raise a girl. Your grandmother was right. The best decision that I had ever made was marrying your father to raise an outstanding young woman. In many ways, you remind me of your grandfather. My grandfather worked at everything once he put his mind to it. He loved deeply and was the best dad a girl could have; and I see a lot of him and a lot of your father in you. They would’ve been so happy to see you walk down the aisle if they were here, as well as your grandmother.” I smiled and hugged my mom to thank her for making me feel better. I asked her if she could be the one to walk me down the aisle. Originally, I had asked Jared. Mom had brought his name up; and I told her that I would want it to be her. “As much as I would want Jared to, you have worked so hard to be both a mom and a dad when I was growing up. Honestly, I can’t imagine anyone else taking dad’s place to dance with me at all those weddings, especially my own.” Mom started to tear up, which led me to start tearing up as well. She said that she would be honored. Minutes later, we took our place; and the wedding began.

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