The Queen of England

She's back bitches. Bow down to Emma Tudor, the queen of England and the wife of six unruly men. Divorced, beheaded and died. Divorced, beheaded and survived. Meet Charles of Aragon, Andrew Boleyn, James Seymour, Andrew of Cleves, Charles Howard and Charles Parr.
Meet her three lovely children, Mary, Elizabeth, and Edward. This queen is living in London in times of turmoil. Why did she divorce the love of her life? Why did she divorce Charles of Aragon? Maybe she sacrificed her love for her kingdom. Maybe she did because she was trying to get rid of her enemies.


5. Andrew of Cleves


Andrew of Cleves was number four

He reminded me of a hor(se)

He was so ugly I couldn't bear

So I asked him for a divorce

Gave him the title

The Queen's Brother 

And he went on his way

I still haven't seen him to this day

I fell in love with Andrew of Cleves from a portrait that was sent to me. The whole court was trying to get me to marry and give the nation a king. Andrew was a nice guy in the letters but at our wedding I immediately knew this wasn’t going to work. At the altar I stood in my wedding dress and waited.

“Do you Andrew of Cleves take Queen Emma to be your wife?”

“If it pleases the Queen.”

“Do you Queen Emma take Andrew of Cleves to be your husband?”

“Yes I do take him to be my husband.”

         We shared a peck on the cheek and went off to our wedding night. This guy was gullible and weak. He didn’t even open his robes. I got out of bed and slept with Mary in her room that night. The next morning I went directly to Parliament and told the kingdom one thing.

“I cannot consummate my marriage to Andrew. I feel that is wrong because he clearly just wants to please his queen. He’s afraid that he’ll displease me and I’ll murder him. Darling Andrew, I won’t do that. You will receive title as the Queen’s brother.”

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