Love In The Darkness

Can you actually fall in love with a mafia heir that will soon marry you if you find out his darkest secret in your darkest hour?

***Ashreigh was the only one from the Leighton family who managed to survive the major assassination in their manor. Her parents' car burned into ashes with them, she was showered with a shot, and the mansion wrecked down like a fallen glass of water that killed a lot of servants.

Her tragedy gave out a new beginning. A new life that will soon start to be written in her book of life.

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5. Darkness four: A Lonely Room

I've sure prepared today...

I had myself ready thirty minutes early and it made me feel excited since today was actually Saturday. Its a free day and it means I should do my obligation towards him. Meaning, I must allow him to know who I am. That means I should share him my past time.

Since he said he have moved the schedules he has for today to spent with me and I am grateful to that.

Since it's still thirty minutes before we get to schedule, I started roaming around the mansion. I started from the second floor first and started opening rooms up. And as usual as normal mansions would have, it was all rooms. But after taking up ten big rooms, a new room appeared to me upon opening it. It was built differently unlike the other bed rooms and I was quite amazed over this new atmosphere.

The smell of paint like some kind ripened fruit that I've missed smelling for years welcomed my entrance.

"Wow..." I uttered selflessly as I took a glance of everything.

I stepped in and saw the unfinished art on a standing canvas but the other paints that was suppose to cover it with color spilled off the table and some fell on the floor that messed up an area of the room.

I went in further and was amazed by the strokes of artistic paint gave life to the walls as thou it was really alive like a television with different channels in every four corners. The one beside the door was exactly the same as the bedrooms I've entered, same thing, a wide bed that was neatly fixed like it hasn't been used at all, a window that made a huge hole over the navy blue painted wall that created a way for the light to illuminate down and gave enlightenment into the loneliness of the room and on the right side was a simple bookshelf given different kinds of book amazing enough, those books were named like: The Quest, Warlock, Blue Horizon, River God, Assegai and a lot more these were the only ones that I managed to read since it has big texts. Unlike the other bedrooms I've entered, this painting had something I never felt within them, it was occupied by peace, not lonely but simply cozy.

Then I looked at the right side of the wall. It was the garden outside this manor. Blooming with nodding roses and surrounded by sunflowers like soldiers guarding them. The rocks are carefully intact with one another to create a prettier view that it had the best solidarity. It was indeed a good tuck of rocks being uniformed with the flowers and bright over the sunny morning. A warm sight in this cold place and also refreshing because of the green leaves down the blooming flowers.

I turned over the right left side of the wall and found myself completely fretted. I came to lose all my weight and fell on my knees as all the memories began to flash back into my eyes as if it had just been yesterday. Why is this image here? Why is it that its painted here like it never burnt down?

My tears began to blur my eyes as I stared at my old home. The mansion that I felt so hard to forget just returned at this very moment just because of a painted wall. I suddenly felt regret on entering this place and my body was so helpless that I just couldn't run away and remained looking at it, remember how lonely it is to be there like I wasn't even at home and the restrictions that I must obey just for them to be at least proud of me.

"Why can't I run away?" I asked myself a question I never even thought I'd ask. Or rather, a question opposite to my reality. I was actually running, I've been running away and the problem is I couldn't get farther from their territory. It only means that I couldn't escape it.

I sobbed trying to stop myself from wailing as I hugged myself over the sudden stress that ate me. Ever time this happened, I used to run inside my shower room and self inflict. The pleasure of pain every time the blade touches my skin was the only source of strength that I can hold on to in slapping my reality and keep on living. But right now I was pinned down here without any support to get up to with the thing that I never thought would still be existing here after I've burnt all the pictures of that mansion up. It had never been this painful when I was at the burial in the burnt mansion. The home that have become our burial and I now it felt so devastating in the heart and its like a knife stabbing me over and over again realizing that I missed this life even if I knew I have been alone but I was sure that I still have a family. Although I don't know the connotation of family, at least I knew that I at least have the denotational meaning.

I want to go home.

I want to hear their voices even if its only a formal conversation about the progress of my grades. If it could go higher than ninety four percent. I want to hear them tell me what's supposed to be essential in life and how I can become as successful as a daughter like them-- saying its impossible to surpass their geniuses.

How could memories be so cruel? How can a single picture trigger me to cry? How can I answer stupid question that I don't even want to ask?

But upon feeling the cold, it suddenly felt warm-- literally.

Someone overwhelmed me with a gentle embrace behind as the body's heat covered me with warmth. "You shouldn't be opening doors if you're not certain what's coming after you?" El's cold voice said to me as he made his embrace turned a bit tighter to secure me.

With us being this close, I could smell his perfume, strong but was not harmful to my nose. These types of smell usually put me in so much trouble because I was somehow allergic to it. I sniff during gatherings because I couldn't take it when people swim around their crafted scents. But now it almost seem to be comfortable. With him securing me, I didn't just sobbed anymore but also fell into tears still immobilized by the picture in front of me. I don't want to remove my sight to it and I couldn't even give a second of blink. I just wanted to look at my home for a while longer until I get tired of crying. And I want to at least get used to it so that the second time I'll stare at it, I won't be crying anymore.

"Don't worry, I'll be here." El whispered again as he kissed my ear and leaned his chin on my shoulder. "I'll be here watching with you." He uttered now that the heavy burden of my pain eased but the agony of long time ago stilled within my heart that it doesn't matter whether I was alone or not.

It was incomparably painful after all these years. It was way too harsh to remind this memory all of the sudden. The fearsome death and the song of lullabye returned like it was just resting to remind me that we were murdered. That I lost what I have and I would never be able to get what I've been wanting to have. They won't be able to love me because in the first place, a corpse won't love...

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