Want to Kill your self?

Stop and think about this before you end your life
Warring its a big trigger read at own risk

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1. Trigger!!!!!

You come home from school one day. You've had yet another horrible day. You're just ready to give up. Sop you got to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you've written and rewritten over. You take out those razor blades, and you cut for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down,holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time. A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinners ready. You don't answer so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you're asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up.. she notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She's screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that "Mommy is crying and sissy isn't waking up." Your Dad runs to your room. He looks at your mom crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hit's him, what's going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying.

The next day at school there's an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves, Your teachers think they where to hard on you. Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they've said to you. that boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can't help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex boyfriend the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you...He can't handle it. He breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school. Your friends? They're sobbing too, wondering how they could never  see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? She's in shock. She can't believe it. She knew what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad...Bad enough for you to end it. She can't cry, she can't feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears are coming out. It's a few days later, at your funeral.

The whole town came. Everyone knew you, the girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone's crying, your little brother still doesn't know you killed yourself, he's too young. Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend. she stays strong thorough the entire service, but soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn't stop for days. It's two years later. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now. That boy that used to teases you cuts himself. Your ex boyfriend doesn't know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls. Your friends all go into depression. Your best friend? She tried to kill herself. She didn't succeed like you did, but she tried...

Your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their marriage feel apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself form your death. Your mom got diagnosed with depression and just in bed all day. People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don;t just effect you. They effect everyone. Don't end your life, you have so  much to for. Things can't get better if you give up. There is always someone to talk to you just have to make the first step and reach out for help.

 

(I am also free to chat if anyone is going through depression or hard times and just needs to vent. You can reach me on my cell which I will give out though email- jessom913@gmail.com/its my sisters email lol

or '

 you can add me on fb and private message me on there and I will listen and do my best to help out. My fb is:

Conner Springfeild)

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