All I Want

All Regina wants is a baby. She carried twins for three months. She gives birth to Heather three months early. She carries Hope and Hope is exactly what hope is. Hope that things will get better. All Regina's wants is a baby in her arms. Will she get what she wants or have to keep wanting. All I Want.


2. Heather


         Two years later… at the Dark Palace

“Robin I’m ready to go!”

“I’m coming Regina. Just had to get Emerald her favorite shoes. She couldn’t find them.”

         Emerald Rose came running down the stairs. Her eldest brother and father soon followed her down the stairs. Emerald had always been a happy child, since her birth she had been Robin’s little Emerald Rose. Regina smiled as her stepdaughter ran to her and asked to get picked up. Em was wearing a knee length green dress and her red curls were in braids. She looked like a little Zelena but had her father’s blue eyes.

“Pick me up Regina?”

“Say pleases!”


“Okay jump.”

         Regina put the little preschooler on her hip and rubbed Roland’s head as he came running past her. Roland was ten and already almost at his stepmother’s shoulder. Roland wore his navy blue uniform with all the lace and frills. All the embroidery and all the buttons made Roland look like a miniature Napoleon. Roland’s browns curls gave him his boyish look back.

“Roland are you ready to go?”

“Yes I’m very excited. I’m ready to see Henry. He’s my big brother.”

“Yes, don’t forget Mila and Liam.”

“King Killian, Queen Emma, Queen Snow, Neil and King David. Princess Violet and Henry.”

         Regina’s face saddened as she remembered her sister wouldn’t be there. Zelena’s limp and dead body was still preserved in a glass coffin in Regina’s new vaults. For two years Regina would go see her sister everyday. Right next to Zelena was a small glass coffin that contained two dolls wrapped in cloth. The dolls were roughly the size of a developing baby in the womb. The names Elizabeth and Rebecca were engraved into the glass. Robin saw his wife’s face and said.

“It’s okay Regina, your sister is with us in spirit.”

“ I was just thinking about her not being here and not being able to meet our baby.”

         Robin kissed his wife on the cheek and laughed as Emerald tried to push him away. Regina placed her hand on her swollen abdomen and prayed that she wouldn’t lose another child. She didn’t want to lose three. Sure she was a mother but the miscarriage two years ago took everything away from her. It wiped her hope clean and broke her love in two neat pieces. Regina set Emerald down and felt the baby kick with all it’s might. Regina’s face tried to hold back the pain. Robin saw his wife’s emotion and asked.

“Are you alright Regina? Should we stay home today?”
“No I’ll be fine. Give me a moment. Take the children and get them settled in the carriage.”

         Robin took Emerald into his arms and squeezed Roland’s shoulder. Roland looked back at his stepmother and flashed her the cutest smile that Regina couldn’t help but smile back. Regina felt another kick of pain as the baby tried to get its mother’s attention.

“Easy little one. My you’re a kicker aren’t you?”

         The baby kicked again and this time harder. Regina felt like claws had attacked her abdomen as the baby clawed at her.

“Stop it sweetie, please stop hurting Mommy. That’s all I want. Stop hurting me.”

         The baby stopped kicking Regina and finally settled down. Regina counted to ten before standing up and walking outside to climb into the carriage. She was six months pregnant and the infant was already causing troubles. Robin helped Regina get into the carriage and climbed in after her. Regina settled between her two children and sat quietly as they left the castle grounds and descended towards the village.

“Aunt Regina will you tell me about your older kids?”

“Why certainly Em. Snow White is my first. I met her when she was ten years old. Her father married me when she was eleven and she was one of the best and worst things to ever happen to me.”

“How can someone be good and bad?”

“When you’re older I’ll let you read the stories.”

“Okay tells me more.”

“Snow White was the first. Snow had a child and Emma had a child. Emma couldn’t raise Henry herself so she let me adopt him. I raised Henry as my son and he still calls me mom. He moved in with Emma and calls every now and then. Henry visits too.”

“I know he’s always calling you Mom. When he wants you his face lights up like a Christmas tree.”

“I have a stepdaughter, an adopted son who’s my stepdaughter’s grandson, I have a stepson who’s Roland and I have you. My stepdaughter and niece.”

“Tell me more.”

“The twins were the first children I every got pregnant with. I had a miscarriage and now I’m pregnant again. I’ve had six kids, this will be my seventh and my third directly biological child.”

         The family rode in silence. They were about ten minutes away from the dark palace when Regina was overcome with immense pain. She clutched her lower abdomen and tried to hold the scream in. Robin held her in his arms and called for the driver to turn around.

“Charles turn around! We’re going back to the palace! The queen’s in labor!”

“Yes your majesty.”

         Regina laid her head in Robin’s lap and comforted the children whenever they asked what was wrong with their mommy.

“Regina is you okay?”

“Yes Em, I’m fine sweetie. Regina’s fine.”

“I love you Regina.”

“Aw, Emerald. I’m going to be fine, I promise.”

         Regina kissed Emerald’s head and closed her eyes. She blacked out and slept for the rest of the journey back to the palace.

         Regina woke up with Robin holding her hand and physicians assisting maids and midwives in what seemed to be the birthing process. Regina couldn’t feel a thing and yet she knew something was terribly wrong. She squeezed Robin’s hand and stared into his eyes. He squeezed back. Her black curls were damp and slicked back. Her eyes held so many emotions that Robin didn’t know what she were thinking about.

“Regina what are you thinking about?”

“I’m worried Robin. I’m worried that I’ll lose another child. I don’t have any more tears to cry.”

“We’ll get through this. Me and you, together as husband and wife and as parents.”

“Robin I don’t want to put another baby in the grave. I don’t want to wrap another one up and put it in the room with its sisters and aunt.”

         Robin squeezed her hand and kissed her brow. She squeezed his hand as the doctor’s ordered her to push. Regina pushed with all her might. The nurses and doctors milled about the room gathering towels and making sure Regina didn’t ruin her beautiful nightgown and her silk bed sheets. Regina just lied back on the pillows and pushed.

“Push Regina! Push for the life of your baby! Push for your unborn twins!”

“I am pushing!”

“Push one more time! I can see the baby’s head. It’s crowning. One more push your majesty and you’ll have a beautiful baby in your arms.”

         Regina squeezed the life out of Robin’s hand on that last push. During the push she looked at her husband and gave him the evil eye.

“You did this to me you bastard.”

“You look beautiful.”

“Shut up jerk. You did this to me.”

“I love you baby.”

“I’m never having another child ever again.”

“That’s a lie. That’s what you said when you got pregnant with the twins.”

“Shut up, what’s that smell? It smells of dirt and forest. Oh it’s you!”

“Touché, that really hurt” Robin chuckled.

         Just as Regina finished cursing out her husband a wail filled the room. A beautiful baby was handed to the midwife and then cleaned and then given directly to Regina. Regina held her baby and lifted up the blankets.

“It’s a girl, Robin we have a daughter.”

“Regina she’s wonderful.”

“Born three months early, she’s so tiny. I hope she can breath.”

“Regina she’ll be fine. She’s perfect.”

         Regina held her daughter close to her chest and sighed. She finally managed to successfully carry and deliver a baby that had her blood coursing through her veins. Sure the baby didn’t go full term but she was healthy. Regina gave the baby to Robin and rested as she watched him handle his new daughter with delicacy.

“My daughter, I have another daughter Regina. I have four lovely daughters. I’m so happy!”

“I love you Robin.”

“Look at her Regina, she has your nose. And my eyes.”

“Robin isn’t she perfect?”

         Robin gave the baby back to Regina and kissed his wife. He sat on the bed and watched his daughter sleep in her mother’s arms. Regina held the baby with care and her diamond wedding ring sparkled as her hand supported her child. Robin looked into Regina’s eyes and smiled. She was happy and Robin was too, the baby was a miracle, a tiny little miracle.

“This is all I want. All I want is for her to remain forever in my arms.”

“What are we going to name her?”

“Well Rebecca, Elizabeth and Emerald Rose are taken. I still can’t believe that I’ll never hold a baby, look into her eyes and say ‘Oh Elizabeth my own heart, I love you and bid you never forget.’ I don’t get to do that!”

         Regina erupted into tears and cried. She shook and Robin wrapped his strong arms around her. She held the baby and trembled. She cried and wailed and about blacked out. Finally she was done sobbing and wiped away her tears. Robin kissed his wife and the little family returned to its former glory. Regina looked up at Robin and sweetly asked.

“Robin can we call her Heather?”

“Heather is the best name ever. I love it just as much as I love you and I love you just as much as I love my daughter.”


         A few days later Regina went into Heather’s nursery and found the little princess not moving or breathing. Regina picked her baby up and panicked. She held Heather’s body close to her chest and cried. Regina fell down on the floor and held her little body. Finally a few moments later Regina shouted so that the whole palace could hear their queen’s screams.


         Robin came running into the nursery and found his wife on the floor smothering Heather. Robin took the baby from his wife and just looked at her.

“Regina you’re going to hurt her.”

“She’s gone Robin, Heather’s dead. I killed another one of my children.”

         Robin examined his daughter and found bruising on her head. Her skin was blue and she showed no signs of being murdered. The child’s lungs hadn’t been properly developed and she suffocated. Robin wrapped his arms around his wife and kissed her head. She held his wife as she held her dead baby.

“Robin we’ve lost three. Am I such a bad mother that I keep losing my darling children?”
“No Regina, you aren’t a bad mother. Heather just died because she was born to early. Your body never fully recovered from the miscarriage.”

         The next day Regina and Robin wrap their little Heather in blankets and lay her down in her own little coffin in the room with her aunt and sisters. Regina engraved Heather’s name onto the glass and vanished into her room for a couple days. She never really got over the grief of her own children.



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