The Almost Normal Life Of Jade Kai

Jade Kai's life has been almost normal. Here is the diary entries of her life and what has happened


3. April 7th 2017

Hey Guys, 

     Last night was worse then the night before. My depression got really bad last night and I almost cut again. I am a cutter guys and I have severe depression. Well bipolar depression. Basically my depression can get triggered easily even if I'm in the best mood suddenly I'll just be depressed for no reason and I don't know how to stop it but it's just the way I am and it sucks but I have to deal with it everyday of my fucking life. 

      So back to my story last night I got really depressed about Connor. As I've told you before is that I used to be in a relationship with him and it got pretty serious, at least from my end. Then things ended and he went back to his ex and then she left him again and hurt him again and I lost him. He has told me many times he is no longer in love with me but he loves me as a friend and he cares about me but it hurts. I'm still madly in love with him and it sucks because he knows it he just doesn't care. And last night I got depressed about the fact that I'll never get a chance to fight harder for him which is something I didn't do when him and I were together. I started wanting to die again and I almost cut but luckily one of my best friends, Blake and his girlfriend Kelsey, they stopped me. He made me promise to never try to kill myself because of a guy and I promised but I also made it clear to him that I might not keep that promise and he's fine with that but he still made me promise it so I did. I know I can't promise to always stay safe after my depression hits me hard like it did last night but I'm trying to get better I really am. Everyone says it's going to get better but I don't see it getting better anytime soon. I only see things getting worse and it scares the shit out of me but I know I need to be strong and fight through it because that's who I am. I'm not giving up not now. I know I'm still weak but I need the strength to get through everything thats coming for me and now here I go facing this shit head on.

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