The battle to the sky.

May or may not have graphic and triggering scenes, have not decided yet but will add a warning if one comes up.
This is the story of my life told by 18 year old me. Please think of this story as a living organism, constantly growing and changing just like me.

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2. Poetic Bullshit

People say that depression is like drowning, that the cold water on your skin pulling you into the depths of its dark embrace, but depression is not like drowning. When you're drowning you feel the burn in your lungs begging for air, you feel the rush of hormones trying to get you to fight for your life, depression is the opposite, you feel like a teddy bear with no stuffing. That's the point, you don't feel anything, you don't crave air, you don't need water. You don't need anything, you just exsist.

 

In this world, no one is more or less important than anyone else, because realistically we are all just a bunch of atoms fighting to survive. I am no more and no less important than a tree or a shark or anything else for that matter. That is the beauty of life, we are a cluster of atoms transferring energy. I am not myself, the body I live in is not my own, I do not have possession over my body, because when I cease to exist the particles that I call my own transfer themselves to the next living being. The cells that form my green eyes one day will rot and give their energy to the soil where I shall be buried, and the transfer of energy will continue for eternity, and that is why we do not own our life, and why we must live to the full as much as we possibly can, because when our cells have disbanded and shoot across the universe there will be no more time.

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