The battle to the sky.

May or may not have graphic and triggering scenes, have not decided yet but will add a warning if one comes up.
This is the story of my life told by 18 year old me. Please think of this story as a living organism, constantly growing and changing just like me.


3. 2.

WARNING: Will contain graphic scenes of self harm.


Self harm is such a strange issue to discuss, because people always want to be a pair of ears for people to talk to when they struggle with it, yet whenever you try to talk about it you are labelled as attention seeking or being "graphic" for no good reason, well here is my unedited relationship with self harm, and I'm going to talk about how I was driven to it and how it made me feel.


Looking at my self harm scars now, they are an redoubtable part of me, I way to tell myself I am stronger than I think I am and that I can get through anything, but at the time it was anything but. I am now two years clean. The reason I phrase it as such is because it is an addiction, it's an addiction to feeling anything except numb. Because depression is the lack of every emotion. Like someone has cut you open and removed all your organs and then stapled you back together, you're left with this feeling of cold inside you. Complete and utter emptiness, and for me self harm was a way to open myself up and let myself feel something, I could feel my heart beat and realise that I was still alive despite my lack of everything human.

Looking back now, i realise how messed up my relationship with the outside world was, and more importantly how messed up my relationship with myself was. I would punish myself with lashings. So for upsetting my mum and being a bad daughter i would sanction myself 

Join MovellasFind out what all the buzz is about. Join now to start sharing your creativity and passion
Loading ...