2AM Thoughts

thoughts of an insomniac

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8. To my other half.

Let's get drunk off the smell of these fresh fields, that the wind keeps carrying to us, as it whips against our soft skin.

Then we'll stumble clumsily down these hills, our shoulders bumping into each other as we get high on just the idea of living.

You can be my guardian angel for the day and I'll be your soulmate for the night.

We'll talk, and confess and converse to the tiniest of details.

In the daylight hours we'll scream our lungs out, tilt our heads back and gaze up at the sky, waiting for a reply, or our voices to just come echoing back.

When it's dark, and everything is still and asleep, we'll let our souls whisper to each other, and I'll tell you my deepest secret if you reveal to me the untold mystery of how to love yourself.

It's the time to remember all the songs that saved us, gave us life, kept us company when there was no one else, and made us cry in beds that quickly became safe havens from wallowing and loneliness.

For breakfast we'll eat the ripe flowers of yellows and oranges, and for dinner, we'll swallow the scattered stars whole.  

I'll scratch my name on your arm, with the tip of a branch, if you engrave on my back, with your bare nails, what I really mean to you.

We'll make stupid plans of how we'll run away to the next nearest galaxy, cos this one just isn't for us.

The only reason I'm here, is because of you.

You believe in yourself.

You're willing to take these risks of wandering too down, too far, to experience something wholesome and spontaneous.  

I'm trying to believe in myself too; by following your lead.

You told me I'd find the answer in the sun. I didn't, and now we're searching for the moon.

Let's walk backwards, more floating than trudging, arch our backs upwards, and breathe in this golden light.

You're telling me not to cry, wiping my tears from the edge of my fluttering eyelids, but I can't help it.

I'm struck by this overwhelming feeling of love and fear. It's tightening around my chest, the roots entangled in my ribcage.

I think I just found out something nerve wracking.  

You smell like home. Warmth and security.

And I think I've decided something reckless.

I'm not going to share you. You belong to only me. Because I need you, to survive.

To live. Because without you, I was barely managing. It was more fading out than enduring.

But with you, we've crossed this unchartered boundary, and we've sought out this feeling of awe and love.

We're solid gold, and metallic liquids, that are fusing into our bodies, our minds and our souls.

Creating a bond, so strong, so great, so monumental, that all of a sudden, I've lost the sense of how to breathe.

I no longer remember a life without you; you're a part of every single one of my memories.

And we're teetering on the edge of something profound, with a new meaning of life, of love and of breathing.

And we're about to grasp all the painful truths, the false accusations, the overwhelming days of sadness, into our balled fists, and just let go of it all.

Because somewhere between giving and thinking, we created our own flimsy heaven.

And darling, it was beautiful while it lasted.

 

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