2AM Thoughts

thoughts of an insomniac

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9. Stay gone.

If you're gone,

can you do me a favour and keep that word?

Stop drifting in and out, whenever you please.

I know what this is.

It's you showing me you're still in control.

You've got something over me. Guess what.

I hate you for it. Because I know and you know,

that if you just cry, or come to me with outstretched arms,

I'll let you in without a fight and

forget a lifetimes worth of pain.

Because you make me weak.

Stay gone, so I can hate you properly,

and so I can figure out how to live again.

Because, like always, your presence just screws up everything,  

turning my reason and sanity into this one jumbled mess.

And I'm still as confused as before.

 
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