Diary of A Soul

I write what I feel. These are what I feel, read it or not. I need to express. I may publish inconsistently.

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7. Entry 7

I know you probably don't like me, and I know you're talking to that girl, and I know I'm going to make a complete and utter fool of myself for saying this, but I need you to know that I like you. And I know we're just friends and I'm fine with that. But this distance between us is killing me. We're not as close as we used to be and I know you blocked me from seeing your story which kind of hurts. But anyways, this is what I was sad about the other day and this is what has been keeping me up for weeks now. I was so hurt when the whole thing happened because I thought you really liked me and i thought maybe we would be happy together. And it hurt and i realized it hurt so bad because I liked you. And I know it seems insignificant that I keep saying I liked/like you. But this is the first time that I've genuinely had feelings for someone in almost a year. There have been short bursts, but I genuinely like you. You were there for me when I was depressed about the break up and I will always appreciate you for that. And once I realized I liked you, i didn't know what to do. Because I knew you didn't want to be with me, and i have a huge fear of rejection. And i think since that thing happened I almost told you four times that I like you and every time i was about to say it, i froze and i started panicking. I'm literally losing sleep over you, I've had to start taking sleeping pills to help me actually sleep at night. I'm so sorry I never told you. And I'm sorry that you're probably never going to see this.

 

Original Writing by Caitlyn Grace

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