Story Of My Life

This story is about the journey in the life of a girl from small to big from a wayward girl to the life of a Christian. She depends on Christ for strength as she cannot progress in life alone and lets God (the Holy Trinity-God the Father Yahweh, God the son Jesus and God the Holy Spirit one in three and three in one) guide her on her path through life. Persecutions come her way but that doesn't stop her from doing the right thing as she leans on the everlasting arms and depends on Jesus for strength to cope with life's situations.


2. Depression Stages and Suicide

As I stated before used to go to bed all the time crying at night wondering when will this nonsense end, insomnia, panic attacks and fear. She thought that by slapping me it would resolve the situation however my depression got worse and worse all the time. At that time I wasn't saved. I hadn't given my life to Jesus Christ and I wasn't born again. Everytime something came into my mind to do or say I would do and say it without thinking twice all the time so:

One day as I was wondering when will my nasty situation with my Mother end, when will she change, when will she come to her senses, when will she stop mistreating me I heard a faint voice saying to me (It was Satan but as I stated I was not born again at that time so I knew little to nothing about Jesus Christ... I didn't know Satan existed, I did not know what happens in the spiritual realm, nothing about the Bible and nothing about Hell and Heaven except what was taught in church). The voice said"Let me tell you how to end it all. You see how you say your Mother treating you bad, bad treat you with all those name calling and all of that pull that chair up get up on go up until you get to that fan, when you go up and hang yourself, when you close your eyes your Mother's bad treatment will be over." Satan was a deceiver and still is a deceiver today.  The fan was one of those spinning fans that was hanging in the air that when someone turns on  the switch the fan will spin.Then another voice said to me: Do not hang yourself, do not listen to that voice. If you do that,if you listen to that voice it wouldn't be over. The grass is not greener on the other side." I disobeyed Jesus voice and went, trying but I could not reach to hang myself...I was wondering why I couldn't reach. I felt something blocking me from doing so. I pushed past and still tried. At last I was on top of the fan. My Mother woke up. She went to check on me to see if I was asleep as usual but she did not find me in my bed so she decided to come out in the dining room. Before doing so she yelled" V, V!" There was no response from me. She called out again. Still no response so she went out in the dining room to have a drink of water because she wanted it and also to check to see if I would have been there. Mother drank her glass of water. After that she glanced around for me. She saw me hanging on the fan. She untied me, lifted me up, put me down on the floor standing up and slapped me in my face sending me straight to bed and all I kept hearing was a voice saying:"Give it all to me", which was Jesus but I didn't bother.I went to my room sad and depressed, fell asleep in my bedroom but it was difficult as always.Thank God that even though my Mother was hard on me before and after she found out that I tried to kill myself she caught me otherwise I wouldn't have been there today being the saved person I am today and I would have been in Hellfire for all eternity waiting for my judgement 2nd death on judgement day to be cast into the lake of fire forever because one of the ten commandments was:Thou shall not kill/murder and killing yourself is murdering yourself. Plus you cannot take your life because you didn't place yourself on this earth it was God, but God knew I was going to give my all to him sometime and that my life still had a purpose and he wasn't going to let me die until I fulfill the plan that he has for me.

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