perfectly imperfect

money doesn't buy happiness. when harry met rose.

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1. rose

this is for harry styles #signofthetimes x

Love is something we dream of as a child , we want , no need it to keep us together , or like a puzzle without its pieces we fall apart.  I think that love is over described these days , too exaggerated , too breakable , there's no peace or calmness where you can simple smile and let out a long exhale , not of stress, worry , anguish or longing but one of happiness and ease , simply beautiful.

 

Then there's hate , a fire that runs, no marches through your veins at a  unbelievable force , sharp cutting words at the end of your tongue , a caged heart holding it self together , unbearable , the pain. For is the person you wish to hate them or yourself? It’s a close call , of why did they do that to you , and why did I let them ? Blaming yourself or making sure they feel every bit of pain they conflicted , revenge.

 

But at the end of it all it may leave you feeling satisfied , but that pain will never leave of love and hate , theres simple not a love so happy , I doubt there can be , with too many people filled with love or hate they clash and either way it results in pain.

 

Love isn't the answer to everything , sadly it can not be picked or chosen , sometimes you will find the right love at the wrong time.

 

Am I  happy? , as happy a girl could be. I literally had everything , I'm not conceited in anyway , but if I asked for a bag full of diamonds , it would be awaiting for me the minute I got home. I don’t love the fortune , the fame but I don’t hate it either, being on the platform I am rises opportunity's not just for myself but for others and id like to think I use my status well to help others and not selfishly take it for myself. I don’t bask in the attention , how could I be happy with someone taking photos of me on my grocery run exclaiming that something must be tragically wrong because I was breaking out , fyi I'm 19 still a teen who gets spots and raging hormones that sometimes make me grumpy , but apparently because of my abnormal job being normal isn't allowed, instead they want me to be something I am not, so to answer you question no I'm not happy.

 

Sighing at the new but not surprising tabloid placed on the desk I cant help but let of a breath of annoyance , they had really called me in stating 'an emergency ' for it to be just yet another magazine with my face pasted on it , sure it doesn’t hold me looking at my best but what did they expect it was girls night.

 

Two familiar faces of my management stare at me with the same amount of annoyance but with a bit more frustration . To cut it simple jenny and Claire where two women that I simply wished I had some repellent spray for because not matter what the circumstances they would always be there looking over my shoulder trying to run my life and basically created an image of me , but not me because apparently I had to many imperfections in the way I go bout things and that was deemed wrong ,  one slip up or mistake and I end up in the same building , same room with a team of people shouting at me demanding answers .

 

"anything you’ve got to say for yourself ?" Claire demands narrowing her beady eyes on me . Claire could be considered as a pretty middle aged woman , who you would think to be sweet and kind hearted lady , you know the kind that give toffees to children on the bus , well that is until she opens her mouth. Ever since day one she seems to have been prancing round with a stick up her bottom , which as a disclaimer I have politely asked and even volunteered to help remove it , but apparently that wasn’t the right thing to suggest.

 

Whereas jenny may not be advertising to look at or be able to give you a wrong impression because overall you can basically smell the depression and borderline moodiness radiating off her when she storms around , noticing I'm not using the word prancing like Claire who is a tall , ridiculously thin women who could use a good ole takeaway . Not to be offence in anyway but jenny might need to cut down on the takeaways because I'm sure she could pull off her short simple red bob better if she lost one of her three chins , once again being the good person I am offered to help her on her way to looking a little less … well like she could eat you , but perhaps that wasn’t the correct thing to say either , but at least they cant say I didn’t offer my advice , whether it was needed or not.

 

"it was a good night?" It comes out more of a question , god knows I'm gonna get a answer. Just like I expected jenny's face flames up ,her complexion going well matching with her hair , unlike Claire who scoffs and starts literally , I mean literally throwing headlines at me all with my name on . Juggling to catch them all and bending down to reach the two papers that bounced straight off my head as I lean back in my chair with a huff letting my tired eyes skim the words that are everyway on a daily basis.

 

'rose on the rode to becoming an alcoholic?"

 

Ahem , just a thing to get out there just because I like a glass of wine just as the next stressed women does doesn’t mean I'm a alcoholic who cant go a day without a flask on her , to be honest I reckon I need a bit more alcohol in my life right now , preferably as I'm talking to these annoying woman.

 

"was rose really 'on holiday' or was this a cover up for rehab?"

 

I was in Hawaii with my mum and little brother , not in rehab thank you very much.

 

" pregnant with her ex? Whos is the farther?"

 

Woah there buddy , I can a hundred and one percent confirm that there is nothing growing in my uterus and that if there was it certainly isn't my exes , wasn’t 'I knew you were trouble' and 'we are never getting back together' enough to get the message across.

 

Letting out an amused snicker I couldn’t help the unattractive snort that came escaped as I looked through them all , the fact that writing lies and making up the most stupid rumors that obviously weren't true were somebody's jobs , it actually was rather amusing and I also couldn’t help but feel sorry for them , didn’t they have anything else to do in there pathetic life's than to obsess over mine?

 

"why the hell are you laughing rose? Do you think any of this is funny , your reputation is going through the roof and making a bad name for yourself , is that what you want? For people to only recognize you as a girl with more famous exes that you can count on your hand , who likes to cause trouble and bring attention to herself?" at jenny's words I couldn't help the frown that settled on my lips before masking it with my well practiced blank emotionless face ,I knew it frustrated them that they couldn’t read me and understand what was going on in my head ,  I wouldn’t let them know how much stuff like this got to me because this is my life and the fame and insults come along with it and they aren't going to go away and showing them a weakness will just make it worse and next they’ll be saying I'm 'emotionally unstable' what they seem to forget is that I'm still human , a normal girl , just with an abnormal job.

 

Once getting no reply they both sigh as if this was a burden on themselves and a weight permantley on there shoulders , because apparently it doesn't affect me at all .

 

" we have come up with an option that the media could take either way but we think it would be beneficial for your image but nothing has been officially decided yet as we don’t know if the other celebrity would even want to be seen with you - ouch okay then - but well be in touch shortly about it all so in the meanwhile rose , try to stay out of trouble."

 

 

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