Diary Of A...

We go through our everyday lives with no thoughts of how our future will be.. but when that moment comes, what do we do? This is my diary to you guys, I thought "why not share my life with other people.. I have nothing else to do really".... lol enjoy!


1. 4/6/2017

11:13pm | New York Time..

​I know by the time I post this it'll be later than the time I've started writing. Today was gross, by gross i'm talking about the damn weather... it was disrespectful and I hated it soo much, I hate rain. But anyway, my mother and I are very close so car rides are like concerts LMFAO! Bruno Mars was playing and all that, it was fun. But all that came to a stop when I remembered I had an interview tomorrow, I WAS excited until my mom came upstairs to tell me it didn't make any sense for me to go because of the distance.... when she said that, I was like, "wait what?"....


​now let me put you on right now, let me tell you how that ALL STARTED....


​I posted my resume' on this website called indeed ( I did this a long time ago, I did that right when I applied for online college classes) sidebar- I dropped out of this college named the college of Westchester, don't get me wrong it's a very good school, but it didn't fit my needs .. I previously enrolled in hopes of them to help with my dream to be a veterinarian and have a business of my own, LIKE THEY SAID THEY WOULD.. but things didn't work out. It's all good because I am currently loving this online college named Animal Behavior College, i'm closer and closer to my dream AS THEY PROMISED... but anyway.

​When I posted my resume', it did take awhile for people to reach out and it also took me awhile to decide whether or not it would be worth the trip.. The day that I received an email from the manager of Kohl's, was the day I could not wipe the smile off my face because, FINALLY I have a job or i'm on the road to getting one atleast. I was so excited about that accomplishment that I wanted to show it off a bit. My mother is like my best friend, sister.. she's basically a package deal to be completely honest, that's my girl. Like every mother-daughter relationship, we do have our disputes.. (and today was one of those days). But, I show her the email and immediately, her eyes lit up. "We're off to a good start" , I thought, she told me she was happy and wished me good luck so from there everything was smooth sailing. TOMORROW IS THE INTERVIEW BECAUSE, the weather has been sooo disrespectful and it hindered my meeting with the manager, so I had to keep pushing it back unfortunately but naah TOMORROW ISS THE DAYYYYY!

Today was prep day. I got my Interview attire ready, I planned (and even practiced) the eye makeup for tomorrow, nothing too over the top everything was just right ;).. I am very much prepared. My mother came up to say good night to everyone, she stops by my room last i'm guessing because I lowkey talk a lot and don't really want her to leave. We were going over the morning plan and I don't quite remember who brought up the interview but either way you put it, it was brought up so we winded up talking about it. She said "i just think it doesn't make sense for you to work so far, why couldn't you apply for somewhere closer?"

"I've applied for places down there and they all take super long to respond back like they have mad (i'm using New York slang.. mad can mean the basic definition as well as "a lot") employees when they probably have none and I didn't reach out to kohl's, they reached out to me".. I stared to look down and got teary eyed because, it bothers me to think that the decisions that I make will never be good enough... what sense does it make to tell your child all this positive stuff and next minute change up.. it's confusing.... I thought friends were suppose to do that not family... so it killed my vibe a little bit, I guess her seeing that made her cut the conversation short..

today was a whirlwind of emotions and I couldn't handle it... I wanna be happy.. I wanna time travel maybe forward a few years from now... I wanna know what all this ruckus was for man....


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