Riddle Me That, Mr. Nygma


2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

He didn’t say anything initially so I just sought out to tell him my findings. “One thing is evident…”, I began. “…This was not a suicide”.

It was as though this guy had completely disregarded the information I had just given him. Instead he just continued to smile despite my obviously irritated expression and he asked me the most unusual and obscure question.

“Do you like riddles?” I was taken back but I insisted on explaining my findings first.

“I…uh… Well yes I suppose… but note the lack of remodelling of the rear of the parietal bone. If you refer to the injuries to the inferior half of the body they do not coincide. The trauma to the lower end of the body resulted from the impact on the sand bank due to the low tide. The injury to the occipital bone was not as a result of the fall indicating homicide posed as a suicide as a form of a body dump”. I looked back up from the victim on my table and returned my gaze to the man in the hope of further assessment and confirmation. However, he ignored my input once again.

“If I eat, I live, I breathe, I live, I drink, I die. What am I?” I only wanted to discuss the findings of the case. I furrowed my eyebrows and held my head in frustration as an attempt of composure.

“I, I, I don’t know, tell me then”.

“Fire”. He answered with a smug certainty and victory. Immediately sick to death of his confusing company I diverted my attention to his name tag reading ‘Edward Nygma’.

“Well thank you for that, Mr. Nygma, I’m afraid as much as I enjoyed that, the victim didn’t die from a fire, it was blunt force trauma of which I would like to show you”.

“Certainly!” I gave a relieved exhale as he was finally ready to cooperate on the case. With an admittedly childish grin he stepped into the medical examiner lab and joined me on the opposite side of the examination table. I proceeded to present my initial findings to Nygma and he conquered. We exchanged various insights and observations before I rushed out to inform the detectives. I could feel the fatigue setting in heavily and I stumbled toward my car after receiving the okay to leave and come back in the afternoon.

It was likely not the smartest option to drive home at 6am with little sleep, yet thankfully nothing bad had occurred. I pulled into the parking complex with ease and made my way toward the elevator. I groaned in frustration at the 'out of order' sign before trudging up the seemingly never ending staircase. I eventually and exhaustedly reached the 5th floor and turned into the hallway. When I made it to my apartment I immediately returned to my bed for a nap before work again later in the day. Due to such an early rise, falling back to sleep was not difficult to do.

I awoke again a few hours later still feeling a little sleep deprived due to the irregular pattern of sleep I had to obtain during the morning. In attempt to wake myself up I decided to head for a quick shower before getting ready for work again. I glanced at my phone to check my time and immediately went into shock at how little time I had to get ready before being late. I fussed and rushed around my apartment trying to frantically get ready, eat, prepare my coffee, and collect all my essentials before heading out the door. I hurried down the stairs and ran to my car. I put the key into the ignition and turned the key only to no avail. My car refused to start. I gave in and dropped my head onto the steering wheel in defeat. I grabbed my phone and dialled the number for the GCPD.

"Hey Bullock, its Y/N. My car is refusing to start so I might have to get the train in so I'll be a little later than anticipated this morning". I tried to explain it in a way that didn't sound like I was trying to get out of work and I just prayed a miracle would happen.

"We're sending Nygma to get you instead, he's pissing us all off!... Ed! You gotta pick up Y/N! We have a dead battery or something!" I held the phone away from my head momentarily and quietly groaned in annoyance that they were sending Nygma for me. I politely thanked him anyway and hung up the phone before sighing in defeat. Before long, Nygma pulled up in his car and rolled down his window to greet me with a cheesy grin and a cheeky “Good afternoon!”

This dorky car matched his dorky demeanour. He had a childlike innocence swimming in his eyes and whilst he did tend to have a slight tendency to cause others irritation, he still remained unfazed by the opinions and comments of others. I admired that in him. As he smoothly stopped in front of me, he rolled down the passenger side window and gave his signature grin. His car was warm and a blissful escape from the bitter cold. It wasn’t long before Ed wanted to engage in some small talk before we arrived at the police department.

“Did you recover well after our body find this morning?”

“Yes, surprisingly. But, my efficient sleep didn’t seem to matter after everything that happened this morning”. I joked, hoping for it to act as an ice breaker. Edward thankfully shared my humour and joined me in a short spurt of laughter. I decided to take the opportunity of his concentration on driving to momentarily look over at Ed and briefly analyse his appearance and his behavioural attributes. He seemed very quirky and maintained a good posture, he had dimples, and big glasses which greater brought my attention to his eyes. I had always had a soft spot for the intellectual and somewhat dorky kind, they often appreciated things on a deeper level, and allowed for intellectual and deep conversations. Definitely not a common trait among people.

I collected my thoughts as soon as I saw the familiar building of the GCPD building. I scrambled for my bag and my jacket before rushing out of the car to clock on. Before I mindlessly ran in the front doors, I abruptly stopped to a halt to turn around at Ed.

“Thankyou, Ed. It’s really appreciated. I’ll see you inside!” Ed replied with a simple “You’re welcome”, nodding his head, grinning cheekily and allowing me to run and fuss around to get into my lab to continue working on the case. I ran in to Bullock laughing and teasing me, asking how my ride with Nygma was and how on earth I survived. The officers and detectives tend to have an extremely thin patience with Ed, but they’re hardly to blame. If it’s not related directly to the case at hand when they’re on the job, they generally don’t want to hear what Ed and his riddles and quirky remarks have to say.

The intern on the job this morning was in charge of preparing the body and the tools for me to continue the autopsy. And thank goodness they did a good job because my fatigue combined with the stress from this morning’s rush meant I need all the help I can obtain today. I washed my hands and pulled out a pair of gloves before I heard a knock on the doorframe and my peripheral vision was caught by Ed once again standing in the doorway.

“How are you doing, Eddy? Do you have another riddle for me this morning?” I asked cheerfully whilst examining the skull once more.

“Oh. Um of course!… I have billions of eyes, yet I live in darkness. I have millions of ears, yet only four lobes. I have no muscle, yet I rule two hemispheres. What am I?” I smiled and waited anxiously for his answer and to again feel enlightened. “The human brain”, he continued and I immediately laughed and thanked him.

“Was there anything else, Mr. Nygma? Or did you just want to impress me?” I teasingly asked. He chuckled but he admitted he was in need of assistance with examining the crime scene photos and reconstructing the scene. “I’ll be right out”, I briskly packed things away and handed over the tools to my intern to sterilise, and I reassured him that I would only be a moment before exiting the lab with Mr. Nygma.

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