These Hate Rants

Just some rants about people who judge others because of what they look like, like, or do.

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4. Suicidal Jabs (A true story.)

Okay, guys. I really can't do any of the usual fun stuff because this topic is super serious. 

Now, I said this before, but then I was only joking. This topic is very very close to my heart because this is something I've dealt with, in fact very recently. I'll give you just a bit of backbackground about myself.

My name is Miya, and I have Bi-polar disorder, schizophrenia, multiple personality disorder, oppressive defiant disorder, and extreme depression and anxiety. I am only fourteen years old, but i've already been hospitalized seven times. All because this is what I heard people saying. They would ask me, "why are you so fat," or they would tell me that I couldn't play with them. " We don't let ugly people on our team." I was ten when all of this started.  I guess I never realized the gravity of how much this affected me, and it wasn't till about two weeks later, when I broke. I found myself in the hospital that night.  They took me to the psych ward, which they argued to me vehemently, was not a psych ward. I refused to  speak, and I didn't do anything with anyone. I hated it there. I got out eventually. They can't really keep you unless they determine somethings wrong. So I left. And I was happy the rest of the year.(That's a lie btw.) Sixth and Seventh grade was pretty much the same story. And along came eighth grade. After being hospitalized the last three years in a row, I was determined to change that. So, I started dressing nicer, actually doing my hair, no ponytail. I met a guy I really liked, and we talked for a few weeks. Then one week. The week that would change everything. "Will you be my girlfriend?"He asked. I said yes, extremely happy. He kissed me and I felt this sort of connection.Yeah. Later that week, he called me a bitch. He said no one would ever like me  and that he was just playing."Dating you was the worst mistake of my life." I cried like I had never cried before. My best friend yelled at him for hurting me, and told him to apologize. He came to me and apologized He told me he was just angry and i was his princess. He said he loved me. I forgave him. That was a huge mistake. It happened the next week, but this time, there were no sorry's. The second to last time in the hospital. Then. Skip a few years. This year. Ninth grade. John Knox. Guy I loved. Guy I love. He asked me to prom. He kissed me. He called me a bitch he slapped me. He called me crazy. And he said I should go kill myself. The pills didn't work. So They went, set me in a hospital. Crappiest way to spend 2 months.

These words, they hurt more than you might think. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words could never hurt me. That is such a lie. Words hurts so much more. Cuts so much deeper.Burns so much worse.

Everyone. If there is nothing that you take away from this except that I am a crazy lunatic, you have never been hurt before. Darling. You will be. And when you are. I'm here.

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