Lost Memories

Being in a mental hospital could never be easy.

That's what nineteen-year-old Amelia realises when she meets Bradley Hunter. A guy who manages to make her feel like she's worth something, in the midst of battling her own demons and walking the road to recovery. They develop an intense, strong emotional connection that is unlike anything the both of them have ever experienced.

But Amelia feels as if Bradley is oddly familiar, the sense of safety and comfort she feels with him is something she has never witnessed.
Bradley struggles with the memories that come back to haunt him, but will they be the reason for Bradley to lose Amelia forever, or to heal her wounds?


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10. Chapter Ten.

Bradley

 

Guilt flooded me as I looked at Amelia talking and smiling to a girl named Lola, who'd just been admitted here a few days ago. Amelia, being the kind person she was, helped her settle in and not feel alone. She was introducing April to her at the moment, and I was standing in the doorway, in awe of her beauty. 

'What are you staring at?'

I turned around to face Caleb, a guy who was here because of a messed up childhood that had taken its toll on him, affecting his mental health.

'She's beautiful, isn't she?'I said, leaning against the door frame and crossing my arms over my chest.

Caleb chuckled beside me, before elbowing me in the ribs.

'Hey!'I raised my voice and shook my head to him.

'You're a softie, aren't you?'he laughed and gave me a pat on the shoulder before walking off. I shook my head again, letting out a chuckle.

Amelia made her way over to me. 'Could you go bring me my book from my room? It's on the bedside table,'she asked with a sweet smile, making me want to kiss the life out of her. 

'Sure thing,'I replied, and she leaned up to give me a peck on the lips since I was so much taller than her. 

'Thank you,'she said before walking over to Lola and April.

I found my way to her room, and opened the door. I entered and saw the book laying on the bedside table, just as she'd describe. I went to take it, but my eyes caught on a black box peeking out from underneath her bed. I knew I shouldn't have looked inside, it was her room and her things after all, but the curiosity in me overcame my sensibility. 

I slowly slid the box from underneath the bed, and dusted it off with my fingers. I opened it, to find an almost scrunched up letter placed inside. 

Put it back, Bradley. I knew I should have just left it, but I wanted to know what was happening in her life. So, I did the worst possible thing and unfolded the letter.

Dear Amelia,

 

I hope you know how deeply I care for you and would never wish any harm for you. I love you with all of my heart, and I'm so proud of the beautiful woman you have become. I know I've failed you, I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most, and for that I'll be sorry for the rest of my life. But I've always kept my eye on you, ever since the day I had to let you go. I don't even know if you'll ever read this letter, but if you do, please know how sorry I am. You don't know how badly I wish I could've looked after you, my little girl. I wish I could have been there for all of your birthdays and always thrown you the biggest party in the neighbourhood. But I couldn't. And I promise, one day you will understand why.

I love you always,

Miranda 

 

My breath got stuck in my throat as I finished reading. My dad had had an affair many years ago, with a coworker. I found out one night when he came home drunk and I saw them kissing downstairs, and told my mom the next day. It made me angry how she brushed it off as nothing, and lived her life on like nothing had happened. She hadn't even spoken to him about it, not called him out on it once. Maybe that was what triggered my anger issues in the first place.

But one other night, I saw a note in my dad's wallet that read; Thanks for the nice night, hope to continue it sometime soon. Miranda xox 

My mom eventually caught them in her bedroom, and I remember hearing her cries every day when my dad was at work, and when he returned, she'd paint on a smile and accept his kisses like everything was okay. But even me, the 12 year old that I was then, knew how much my mom was hurting.

And I hated my dad and Miranda both for it.

But it couldn't be the same Miranda, could it? I shook the thought off and told myself there were so many Miranda's out there, it was just by chance.

I quickly slid the box underneath her bed and grabbed the book. I didn't realise I was holding a breath until I left the room. 

'I thought you'd died in there!'Amelia chuckled as she walked towards me. I handed her the book.

'Are you okay?'she inquired, placing her small hand on my arm. I told myself to forget about the subject for now.

'Yeah, I'm fine,'I replied, and gave her a kiss on the cheek. But I wasn't. My knuckles were tingling and the air seemed suffocating, the words I'd just read replaying themselves in my head. 

'I just have a headache, that's all. But you have a good time, okay?'

I squeezed her hand. She looked confused, and tilted her head to the side as if she didn't believe a word I was saying. Amelia let out a small breath and unlatched her hand from mine, letting it fall to her side.

'Okay, I'll see you later then,'she fake smiled at me before turning around and walking to the library. I knew that expression she'd just shown me far too well, and I knew she was actually upset, or angry with me but faked a smile instead of questioning me.

Like she was afraid of knowing the real reason I wasn't acting like myself.

The whole situation felt like it was swallowing me whole. 

 

-

 

When dinner time rolled around, I saw Amelia sitting at our table with Lola and April, already chatting and eating away. I knew it was silly, but I felt like I didn't belong there. 

'Hey,'I said as I reached the table, and all of their heads looked up at me. Amelia looked down at her food straight after, and I knew something was up and I had to talk to her after dinner.

I took a seat next to April opposite Amelia and Lola. I began eating my food and when I looked up, Amelia was still staring at her food like it was most interesting. April and Lola were talking about something, but my focus was on how upset Amelia obviously was. 

'Can we talk?'I asked, and the table grew silent.

'Sure,'Amelia said, standing up after me. I walked out of the cafeteria, hearing her follow me. 

'What's going on?'I asked, as she leaned against the grey wall. She closed her eyes and took a breath.

'You're keeping things from me,'she said, looking into my eyes. I rubbed my hands over my face, feeling frustrated.

'If you don't trust me yet, I'd rather you just tell me,'she spoke quietly, looking at her hands. 

I lifted her chin so she'd face me and she tilted her head to the side, searching my eyes for answers. 

'There are some stuff about me that are just...'I couldn't find the right words.

'Messed up? I know. Everyone here's messed up. That's the reason we are here. But you've got to know it's okay to be, because we're here to get help and to get better.'

Tell her about the letter. Tell her that this isn't the first time you've met. Don't keep secrets. 

The words echoed inside of my head, but I chose to ignore it as I placed my lips on hers. She kissed me back, her hands wrapping around my neck. I leant my forehead against hers, hoping she would understand. 

 

 

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