Lost Memories

Being in a mental hospital could never be easy.

That's what nineteen-year-old Amelia realises when she meets Bradley Hunter. A guy who manages to make her feel like she's worth something, in the midst of battling her own demons and walking the road to recovery. They develop an intense, strong emotional connection that is unlike anything the both of them have ever experienced.

But Amelia feels as if Bradley is oddly familiar, the sense of safety and comfort she feels with him is something she has never witnessed.
Bradley struggles with the memories that come back to haunt him, but will they be the reason for Bradley to lose Amelia forever, or to heal her wounds?


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7. Chapter Seven.

Amelia

 

'This tastes like a chew toy, honestly,'Bradley mumbled as he swallowed down his food. I chuckled because I couldn't have agreed more.

'I guess that's all they can afford,'I shook my head as I bit into the completely chewy chicken, feeling bad for my teeth. 

'Amelia,'a voice next to me suddenly said, and I turned my head to see Dr. Johns standing above the table.

'Yeah?'

'You need to come with me,'she urged, an impatient look on her face.

'Why, what is it?'I said in a panic, not knowing what she was referring to or what had suddenly happened. I felt Bradley squeeze my hand and my eyes shot to him, the comfort of his presence calming me down instantly. He rubbed fingers across my skin, making me shiver.

'You'll see, come on.'

As I stood up, I glanced at Bradley, his forehead was creased and worry lingered in his eyes. I offered him a smile before walking off with Dr. Johns, the anxiety in my stomach making me feel sick.

We reached the quieter area, and she placed her hand on my shoulder. She looked like she was pitying me and I hated it. 

'Your father is here to see you,'she spoke quietly, and blood rushed to my ears. My heart started beating so fast against my chest I was scared, for a moment, that I'd pass out.

I stumbled back a little and felt panic take over my body.

'You don't have to see him if you don't want to,'Dr. Johns continued, but I knew I had to see him even if it was unbearably difficult.

'I need to,'I said, and she nodded in understanding.

She lead me to the visitor area and stood in front of a black door.

'I'll be right outside,'she said kindly, squeezing my shoulder and smiling.

I nodded and I knew what waited for me behind that door. Even though I was shaking, I took a deep breath and opened it.

I saw him sitting on a chair by the table, which held another chair at the other side. His eyes locked into mine, and they were the hazelnut colour I remember so clearly. He'd grown a beard, and the creases were more visible on his forehead now. He looked dull, the grey jacket he was wearing seeming to only give to that. 

I took a seat opposite him and he sighed.

'Amelia,'he breathed out, placing his hands on the table.

I was quiet, truthfully I didn't really know what to say.

'How are you?'he asked, and I let out a harsh laugh.

'How well can I be at a mental hospital?'

He looked down at his hands, probably feeling like shit because of my words. Honestly, I felt no sympathy because he deserved it.

'You know how sorry I am,'his apologetic eyes could fool me into actually believing him.

'Sorry for what part exactly? Sending me away with a monster or being the reason I ended up here?'I snapped, the anger in me pouring out. 

'It was never like that,'he spoke quietly, and I rested my elbows on the table, leaning closer to my so called father, who'd thrown me into a pit of hell and not done anything to save me from it.

'Then tell me, why do I experience nightmares and my head flooded with memories of the hell I went through all at once? What exactly was it like then, dad?'I spit out the last word, it felt wrong to even call him that.

'I never wanted you to go with your mom. I just didn't have the money or the right home to raise a child, and your mother had every right for custody. I could never say sorry enough,'he rubbed his hands against his jeans, and I wondered if he was feeling nervous.

'You know just as well as I do that I would've been better off living with you in a dumpster than at a luxurious home with that monster,'I clenched my fists, my nails digging into my skin. 

'But I didn't-'

'You should have fought for me, dad! Do you know how many sleepless nights I had wondering what I'd ever done to make you leave and hate me? How many times I cried myself to sleep, wishing you'd come and take me away. You promised, dad, you promised to always take care of me and look what you did!'I cut him off, the words I'd kept in for so long finally coming out. I'd stood up in the middle of that, the anger in me too big to sit still.

Tears were falling down my cheeks, and I hated myself for still feeling the hurt.

'I've regretted not coming for you every day since,'he said, his eyes glistening with tears.

I walked towards the entrance.

'You destroyed me, dad,'I said through my blurred vision due to all of the tears.

I saw him wince and thought about how ironic it was that I'd once referred to him as my hero.

'I don't want to ever see you again,'I spit out before opening the door and storming out. I could feel my heart beating so loudly in my ears that it was deafening. I rushed past Dr. Johns, I didn't hear her questions, I could only hear and see the memories invading my head and all of the pictures mixing in front of my eyes.

All of the memories I had with my dad, they wouldn't stop showing themselves in my head. I was trembling, and my feet seemed to not be able to hold me up at all.

'Amelia!'I heard Bradley shout, but it seemed too far away to reach. It was all too much. All the memories flashing, the painfully beautiful memories with my dad, made my chest hurt and my feet to buckle out from underneath me.

And suddenly, I didn't see anything at all.

 

 

 

 

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