Lost Memories

Being in a mental hospital could never be easy.

That's what nineteen-year-old Amelia realises when she meets Bradley Hunter. A guy who manages to make her feel like she's worth something, in the midst of battling her own demons and walking the road to recovery. They develop an intense, strong emotional connection that is unlike anything the both of them have ever experienced.

But Amelia feels as if Bradley is oddly familiar, the sense of safety and comfort she feels with him is something she has never witnessed.
Bradley struggles with the memories that come back to haunt him, but will they be the reason for Bradley to lose Amelia forever, or to heal her wounds?


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9. Chapter Nine.

Amelia

 

I traced the letters written on the paper in my hand, the ink transferring to my fingertips. I'd read this letter so much that the sides of the paper were all crinkled. Somehow the words brought me some weird sort of peace offering, although at the same time making me insane with anger. 

I sighed and set it back down, grabbing the wooden box from underneath the bed. I set it back into it, and slid it under the bed again. Bradley had been in his session for over 2 hours, and I was getting a bit anxious.

Usually his sessions with Dr. Montgomery lasted about 45 minutes to an hour, and I didn't want to be over worrying or needy, but I couldn't help the nervous feeling in my stomach. 

So I sat in the library area and found a book to distract myself with, but my plan hardly worked. I couldn't focus on what my eyes were looking at, because my brain was completely elsewhere. I finally gave up and set the book down. 

I didn't have to sit there for long, because I heard a door slam shut just as I stood up from the plastic chair. 

'Bradley, you've got to calm down,'I saw Dr. Montgomery say, placing a hand on Bradley's shoulder. I could see his hands in his hair, and the wetness in his eyes made me ache to hold him. 

I slowly walked towards them, but stopped when Dr. Montgomery shook his head to me. Bradley glanced at me, his eyes burning into mine with the same exact pain I knew far too well. I dug my fingernails into my palms, trying to push down the need to comfort him.

He didn't say anything, he just walked away and straight to his room. I was taken aback by this, especially since I'd told him a lot of personal stuff last night. I didn't want to push him to tell me, though. And if he needed space, then he was going to get it.

 

-

 

When I sat alone in the cafeteria that evening, I was fighting the urge to just go knock on his door and be there for him, like he had been for me. But he'd make it crystal clear by walking away that he needed time for himself. Give him space. Space. The word was beginning to haunt me, I was sure of it.
 

I picked at my food with my fork, resting my other hand on one of my palms. The patterns you could make of mashed peas were surprising.

'Hey.'

My head shot up and I faced a red eyed Bradley, who took a seat opposite me like he always did. He'd even taken a tray of food, and began eating it.

'Hi,'I replied, not knowing how to speak to him now, and I felt like an asshole for it. 

His chewing came to an abrupt stop when his eyes landed on my palms, which had deep marks from my fingernails, since I'd pressed so hard I'd made them bleed.

'What are those?'he took one of my palms into his hand, examining it carefully. His hand was warm, and sent shivers down my spine. He looked at me, his eyes full of worry, the emotion lining every feature on his face.

'Oh, it's nothing,'I took my hand from his, laying it back down on my lap.

I knew right away he wasn't buying it, but I didn't want to focus on my issues at the moment, so I decided to quickly change the subject.

'What happened today?'I asked, and that made him push the tray to the left, abandoning his food completely.

'He just hit a rocky subject for me, that's all,'he said, and shrugged his shoulders like it wasn't more than that, which it most definitely was.

I didn't want to get frustrated, or angry, but I couldn't shake the feeling of betrayal off. I'd told him my darkest secrets and he was keeping things from me, keeping his barriers held high.

My mind wondered to the letter underneath my bed, and I instantly felt like an hypocrite. 

'You know you can trust me, right?'I asked, giving his hand a squeeze. 

He opened his mouth to say something, when April appeared next to our table.

'Come on guys, it's Be Creative! night tonight! You don't want to miss it,'she winked and walked out of the cafeteria, which made me let out a chuckle.

Be Creative! night had been something started by the director, hoping it would give the patients a chance to show different sides of themselves and let loose a little bit. It resulted in the same people reading out the same poems every night it was held, and the occasional Kara teaching us her favourite yoga positions. Kara was someone who'd been admitted here for depression, and she had a whole stack of Yoga books in her room. She said it was helping her get better, and that everyone should join. 

For some reason, I doubted yoga would make all the problems in my life disappear. But me and Bradley followed April anyway, if anything, it would give us a good laugh and we all needed that. That was one of the things I liked about this place, when it was just us, nobody took themselves too seriously. It made the atmosphere seem more fun, and not resemble the melancholy of a mental hospital. It was like a breath of fresh air in here. 

Me and Bradley took our seats and for the rest of the hour and enjoyed laughing at different people showing their creative sides. Occasionally, my eyes would wonder to Bradley and I'd try my best to hide the small smile that formed on my lips when I looked at him laughing and his face lighting up.

Somehow it made the burden I carried with me every day just a little lighter.

After everyone had started disappearing to their rooms for the night, April, Bradley and me stayed behind, lost in conversation.

'How does he not get tired of reading the same poem every. single. time?!'April laughed, her head falling back and both of us joined her. 

'Well, I better leave you two be,'she spoke, winking at me before exiting the room.

It was suddenly dead silent in the room with just me and Bradley in it.

He looked at me for a split seconds, until his eyes travelled to my hands set on my lap.

He took my hand into his own, unfolded my fingers delicately and pressed his lips to the cuts in my palms. The gesture was so sweet, it made my eyes well up. Nobody had treated me this way before, and the feeling was terrifying but so good at the same time.

No words were said, I think he knew exactly how I felt at that moment, as did I with him. Sometimes feelings are a lot more powerful than words, they can express more than words ever could. 

'I guess we should go to bed,'I said then, standing up. 

Our footsteps echoed in the empty room as we reached the exit, and this was where we had to say goodnight since my room was on the left and his was on the right. 

As I looked up at him, he placed a strand of my hair behind my ear and traced my cheek with his fingertips. 

He leaned in and kissed me, and my hands wrapped around his neck. I felt a warm fuzzy feeling form in my stomach and I knew, even though I barely knew this guy, that there just was something about him that felt oddly familiar. As if his arms had offered me shelter before, and kept me steady. 

He rested his nose on mine for a minute before he pulled away, and making me whine internally. 

'Goodnight, Amelia,'he said, the edge of his lips turning up.

'Goodnight, Bradley,'I said back, and started walking towards my room with the stupidest grin spread over my face.

 

Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think! :)) xoxo

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