Lost Memories

Being in a mental hospital could never be easy.

That's what nineteen-year-old Amelia realises when she meets Bradley Hunter. A guy who manages to make her feel like she's worth something, in the midst of battling her own demons and walking the road to recovery. They develop an intense, strong emotional connection that is unlike anything the both of them have ever experienced.

But Amelia feels as if Bradley is oddly familiar, the sense of safety and comfort she feels with him is something she has never witnessed.
Bradley struggles with the memories that come back to haunt him, but will they be the reason for Bradley to lose Amelia forever, or to heal her wounds?


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8. Chapter Eight.

Bradley

 

'Please, please wake up,'I begged, as I held Amelia securely between my arms, but her eyes were closed and her body seemed limp in my arms. I needed her to wake up. I'd never been this afraid before, not even when my father used to bring me down every single day. Nothing compared to the terrible ache in my chest I felt now, and the ferar crippling in my stomach.

'What happened?!'Dr. Johns rushed to me, panic evident in her voice. She kneeled down beside me on the floor, where I was desperately holding Amelia tightly in my arms. I wasn't going to let her go. 

'She passed out and she's not waking up,'I stroked her cheek with my fingers and I could still feel the wetness from her tears. I wondered what series of events had happened to make her react that way, but all I cared about was that she'd wake up.

'I'll get the nurse,'Dr. Johns spoke and rushed away. I kissed Amelia's hair as my arms securely held her in place against my chest, and I couldn't help but feel like I'd failed her. I didn't follow her to wherever Dr. Johns was taking her, because I didn't want to seem overbearing and her to feel like she had no privacy.

Soon after she'd left, though, I started to worry and went looking for her. When I finally caught sight of her, she was shaking and crying and I'd ran to her, but it was too late. When I reached her, she'd already fell. And here I was, feeling like it was all my fault that I hadn't protected her from whatever she'd witnessed before this happened. 

A nurse kneeled down beside me, interrupting my train of thought and trying to take Amelia from me. 

'Let her go, Bradley,'Dr. Johns spoke, but I remained still with my arms around her.

'We need to make sure she's alright,'the nurse said, and I unwrapped myself from her, as she was lifted on to a carrier bed and wheeled away to the nurse's room. I walked with them, and sat beside her bed as I slipped my hand into hers.

'She's okay, just went through a bit of a shock. Sometimes people pass out because they can't handle the hurt of some situation and their body goes into shock in result.'the nurse said, after checking her.

I sighed out of relief, but another part of me winced in pain at her words. I should've been there for her. I should have never let this happen to her. Maybe my father was right, and I was truly a failure.

After a while of sitting next to her, she finally opened her eyes. Her eyes shot around the room, panic invading her features until they found mine and relaxed. 

'What happened?'she asked, giving my hand a small squeeze.

'You passed out but you're okay now,'I explained, stroking her cheek with my thumb. She squeezed her eyes shut and a tear fell down her cheek.

'Hey, hey what's wrong?'I asked, placing my hand on her neck as the pain in my chest got worse. I never knew seeing someone cry could hurt so much.

She opened her eyes that were now glistening with tears. I wiped them off her cheeks.

'I didn't want you to ever see me this way,'she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

I gave her hand a tight squeeze. 'You don't need to feel embarrassed or stupid in front of me, Amelia.'

She looked into my eyes and sighed. 

 

-

 

'How have things been since the last time we spoke?'Dr. Montgomery asked from opposite me.

'They've been quite good, actually.'

'I heard Amelia had a breakdown a few days ago. You've been getting close, right?'

I had to hold back my tongue from telling him that we'd always been close, even if she didn't remember me anymore. 

So, I just gave him a nod.

'How did seeing her like that make you feel?'

I clenched my fists at my sides, and swallowed. 

'Angry.'

'Why so?'

I tapped my foot on the floor. 'Because I should have protected her from whatever made her break down like that.'

Dr. Montgomery leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he looked me in the eye.

'That wasn't your responsibility in any way, Bradley. You can't blame yourself for how her body reacted,'he spoke.

I could see that my knuckles were beginning to turn white.

'You have no reason to be angry with yourself. You were there for her after, and that's all that matters.'

'It was too late when I'd got there,'I spit out, in despite of myself.

'You couldn't have stopped it anyway, trust me. You did all you could to support her, and you should give yourself credit for it.'

After my session with Dr. Montgomery had ended, I walked back to my room. I had barely seen Amelia after the incident a few days ago, and it bothered me that she'd been acting so distant. I didn't want to push her, I wanted to give her all the time and space she needed, but it was unbearably difficult. All I wanted was to ask her what had happened and to be there for her, help her to never witness anything like that again.

I was angry, at whatever had happened to make her break down and collapse, at myself for not protecting her, not a few days ago and not all those years ago when I should have.

I ended up throwing the chair across the room, resulting in a nurse coming in to check if I was okay. I told her I was, although I was far from it. 
 

I couldn't sleep as I lay in my bed, my head kept on spinning. I heard my door creak open slowly, and I instantly shot up in bed. It was Amelia, her silhouette seen in the doorway. 

'Amelia,'I said as she walked inside. She was wearing fluffy slippers and a navy blue pajamas with white dots. She looked mindlessly beautiful.

She didn't say anything, just got on the bed and lay next to me, and I wrapped my arm around her. She snuggled her head into my chest, and I could feel her heartbeat against my skin.

'My dad came to visit me on Tuesday,'she spoke quietly. I stroked her hair softly with my fingers.

'I was six when my dad and mom split, and my mom found another man. She decided to take me with her, and she got custody because my dad had nothing without her. Her new husband was an awful man, and he started to abuse me every night. My mom never believed me when I told her. And my dad never even attempted to come after me, although I wrote to him every day for a year about how horrible it was living there. I begged for him to come take me away..'she choked up, and I held her tighter, the pain and sorrow I felt for her making my chest hurt.

'Amelia, God, I'm so so sorry,'was all I could think to say, even though I'm sorry seemed like such a pointless phrase to use when it came to what she'd been through. I felt stupid as soon as it left my mouth.

She didn't say anything for a while, and I held my raging temper in its cage with all of my strength. All I wanted to do was hit something so hard that I wouldn't even feel my knuckles anymore. 

But I didn't let go of her, holding her so tightly against me I was afraid she'd complain soon. She didn't.

'Thank you,'she whispered.

'For what?'I said, kissing the top of her head.

'Being there for me,'she spoke. I squeezed her tiny body, not hard enough to hurt her but hard enough to let her know I'd never leave her side, ever again. 

'Always.'

 

 

 

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