All For Love

After such a long time of waiting, we learn to move on.

Harry's words did hurt me a little, but I was already shattered, and he only crumbled my broken pieces.

Did you know that I think about you all the time, I dream about you all the time? I know I messed you up, I know I broke you, and trust me baby I know I hurt you - but please don't forget that you loved me once. My heart aches everyday, I drown myself in alcohol trying my damn best to forget you, but it's impossible. You're everywhere - in my mind, in my heart, in the bedroom we shared, in the house we planned to raise our little girl in. Promise me you won't forget what we once had. Blame me, scream at me, tell me how much you want to kill me.. but please, baby.. don't leave me on the ground - we both know I'm no good, but darling I can't go the rest of my life without you in my arms. Love me or leave me. I knew this was trouble, I knew it was fucking stupid in the start but I can't help that I fell in love with you.


4. Chapter 03 - "And if something doesn't change Then we'll keep on sinking further.."


The sound of my ringtone blaring in the room caught my attention. I opened my eyes, letting a sigh out too as I sit up in the tub. I’ve honestly been in here for hours and I don’t want to move. I carefully stand up, letting the water fall down my skin and drip off the ends of my hair. I glance down at my hands, my skin wrinkled from being in the water for so long. I roll my eyes lightly to myself, annoyed that someone was bothering me during my peaceful time.

I grab my towel off the rack as I step out of the bathtub onto the rug. Chills run through my body as the cool air hits my wet skin, goosebumps popping up all over my body. I walk over to the sink where my phone lays and I answer just in time. I don’t even see who it is, I just press it to my ear.

“Hello?” I ask with an annoyed sigh leaving my mouth. “Emmy, are you still up?” I hear Niall’s voice ask with a huff. I wonder why he’s calling me? “Um, yeah, why?” I ask as I wrap the towel firmly around me. I hear shuffling on the other line, mixed with the sound of crying and whining.

“He let her down, again.” Niall informs me, his tone sounding not too pleasant. My blood begins to boil as I realize what’s done happened. “She wants to come back to the apartment.” He adds in. “I can’t believe he fucking.. okay, okay. Bring her home, Niall. We can talk when you get here.” I insist, not wanting him to hear my angry rant.

I hang up the phone, having no desire to speak about Harry’s latest fuck up. He pisses me off so bad, but yet he still wonders why I won’t go back to him. He hasn’t even realized why I left, and it’s been years.

There was one point in my life where I thought Harry was going to do so much better without me, I thought he’d learn his lesson and change so he could be a better man – but it seems like I was wrong. And as the days go by, he keeps giving me more and more reasons to not go back to him.

He can’t even keep up with his daughter, how could I trust him with a relationship? He ruins everything given to him, including the chance to see Katie. It might hurt me and Katie, probably her way more than me, but if I have to end these visits to his house then I will. I don’t care who puts in their ‘say so’, what I say goes, and Harry even told me that himself.

I walk into my bedroom, sitting the towel on my bed before heading over to the dresser. I open the top drawer and get a bra and a pair of panties – they don’t match but I couldn’t care less right now. I go on and slide the underwear up my legs. I get them adjusted right before sliding my arms in the bra and reaching behind me to buckle it.

“Sometimes.. you make me want to kill you.” I mumble to the picture of Harry holding Katie on the day she was born. His eyes aren’t looking at the camera, but I don’t care – I really just want to say it to his face. I grab a shirt and a pair of casual shorts. I continue dressing myself, going down the list of things in my head that I need to do in order to stop these betrayals and put downs.

I’m sick of Harry breaking Katie’s heart – he’s already shattered mine, and she certainly doesn’t deserve to go through that pain.

* * *

The feelings have just become too much, and I can no longer hold back these tears forming in my eyes. I squeeze my eyes shut tightly, feeling a few run down my face – soon followed by many more. “It breaks my heart every time I see her cry.” Niall sighs out as he sits down on the couch.

Katie avoided my embrace just minutes ago, she stormed to her room and slammed the door shut. She’s such a strong hearted child, usually she doesn’t get mad about many things or upset either – but I guess this was the end of the line for her, she probably has had enough of that treatment. However, Harry will still claim that I put ideas in her head, and that I tell her horrible things about him – that’s quite the opposite of what I do though.

I’ve never once told Katie anything bad about Harry, why would I want to risk my child viewing her father as an evil person? When she asks why I never talk to him I just say we aren’t friends, I never tell her the truth when it comes to him. I know it’s wrong to lie to my child, but I’d rather spare her a few more nightmares.

“He’s.. pathetic, Niall.” I mumble my comment, I can feel Niall’s eyes burning holes through me as I stare at my hands in my lap. When I rant about Harry I don’t like to look at him, because sometimes I wasn’t sure if he thought I was crazy or if he understood – however today my mind has changed on that. Niall no longer completely supports Harry – enough is enough for all of us. “Trust me, darling, I know.” He agrees with a light huff.

Just as I part my lips to reply, his phone goes off as it sits on the coffee table. We both dart our eyes to it as it vibrates on the wood, lighting up with an incoming call. I look over to Niall as he leans up, elbows on his knees. “It’s Harry.” He utters out before letting his body hit the back of the couch again.

“What if.. what if comes over.. here and-” Niall cuts me off quickly, not wanting to hear that mess I’m sure. “I’ll stay the night, if you don’t mind of course.” He insists – his offer knocks me off my tracks a little, that’s not at all what I expected. Usually he will say  Harry’s stupid, but he’s not that stupid. “I would greatly appreciate that, Niall.” I release a sigh of relief.

Niall gives me a light smile just a second before the phone finally stops ringing. “Is he still drowning himself in the alcohol?” I ask, already knowing the answer. “Yeah, he can drink three bottles of Jack.. pure whiskey, nothing added to it. It’s like he just wants to die.” Niall slouches on the couch, his eyes looking up at the ceiling.

“Katie is an obvious reason for him to stay alive.. why can’t he just see that?” My words aren’t intended to be directly towards Niall, just my thoughts getting free, but still he replies to me. “He’s blinded by the fact.. you’re not there anymore. All he does is drink.. I guess to get away from the thought of you.” Niall suggests, none of them are completely sure why Harry does what he does.

Niall is partly right, all he does is drink – but he cries. I know he does, Katie’s told me that several times, and even before she told me I knew he did. Harry cried when I was there – he goes and sits outside or on the balcony and he just lets his tears fall. Usually it would happen after we fought or argued, I guess what he said came around again and he would realize the hurt behind them.

  Sorry for the short chapter. Hoped you liked it.  
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