All For Love

After such a long time of waiting, we learn to move on.

Harry's words did hurt me a little, but I was already shattered, and he only crumbled my broken pieces.

Did you know that I think about you all the time, I dream about you all the time? I know I messed you up, I know I broke you, and trust me baby I know I hurt you - but please don't forget that you loved me once. My heart aches everyday, I drown myself in alcohol trying my damn best to forget you, but it's impossible. You're everywhere - in my mind, in my heart, in the bedroom we shared, in the house we planned to raise our little girl in. Promise me you won't forget what we once had. Blame me, scream at me, tell me how much you want to kill me.. but please, baby.. don't leave me on the ground - we both know I'm no good, but darling I can't go the rest of my life without you in my arms. Love me or leave me. I knew this was trouble, I knew it was fucking stupid in the start but I can't help that I fell in love with you.


3. Chapter 02 - "the ground is crumbling underneath my feet.."



I gulp gently to myself, not sure how to explain this all to that beautiful little girl sitting in the swing, her eyes staring at the rocks beneath her, her arms clutching the stuffed rabbit. Katie’s little heart is going to break as soon as she hears the words I have to say to her.

“Hey, love?” I say, trying to grab her attention. She glances up at me before letting her eyes fall back to the ground. I kneel down in front of her, resting my arms on my knees. “Katie, we need to get going honey.” I tell her with a soft sigh leaving afterwards.

Her teary blue eyes dart to mine, here it comes. Her bottom lip quivers before she clamps her teeth over it, trying to hold in those tears in her eyes – but I know they’ll be going down her cheeks very soon. “I know you’re sad, babe.. But I’m sure Daddy just forgot. He’s probably still working.” I assure her – Harry fucks up every chance he gets, that’s one thing I’m surely assure of.

“Ni..” She whispers, her eyes looking away from mine. She doesn’t like for people to see her cry, she gets it from Emmy. I witness the first of many tears leave her eyes, starting streams down her cheeks. “Yeah baby?” I ask, there’s no telling what she’ll say – sometimes she says really mature things, but others she just wants to cry. She’s a child though, she has all right to be sad right now.

“Can.. c-can we go.. to.. Da-daddy’s.. work.. and get him?” Katie asks, her words broken up by her sniffs. “Sure, love. C’mon, let’s go.” I say as I stand up. I extend my hand to her and she gladly takes it, jumping down from the swing. She squeezes my hand tight as we start walking, her head hanging low in disappointment.

* * *

The car ride has been mostly silent, besides a few sniffs and coughs coming from the back seat. I glance in the mirror, just checking on her. Katie’s eyes are red and puffy, tears still falling from those blue eyes. She’s twisting a strand of her hair with her fingers, but her eyes are glued on the window.

I let out a light sigh, barely audible, as I look back at the road – at least we’re almost there. Perhaps Harry will truly be running late, but yet even I think three hours is more than just late. I already know the story, he forgot again and now he has to face three things: Katie’s crying, my scolding, and the risk of Katie telling Emmy again.

Honestly it hurts us all when Harry does things like this to Katie, everyone including Carly and I thought he’d do better than before, but he still does all the wrong things. “Niall..” I hear my name being called in a soft voice, she hardly ever actually says my whole name, so I know this is serious.

“Yeah, babe?” I ask, keeping my eyes on the road – I definitely don’t want to risk anything. “Does my Daddy.. love me?” She asks, I can hear the nervous tone in her voice. “Of course he does, babe.” That answer is obvious, Harry loves her more than anything in the world, including himself.

“No he.. don’t.” She retorts, giving me a deep huff. I swallow the lump forming in my throat – what in the hell do I tell this child? Yes you’re father loves you very much but he just forgets you exist sometimes and always has his head suck up his own ass. I highly doubt Emmy would approve of me telling her that – she might agree, but she probably won’t approve.

“Yes he does, Katie.” I presume, at least he says he does darling. “If he did.. he wouldn’t be late.” She’s right on point with that one. I can’t tell her that though, it’ll break her little heart.



“Mr. Styles?” I hear a voice say. I let out a deep sigh as I look up from my desk. My receptionist, Judy, is standing there, an ashamed look on her face. “What?” I spit out, not in the mood for anyone’s shit right now. “It’s getting close to eight. Are you sure you’re okay with everyone leaving, since you’re still working?” She asks me curiously.

“Yes. Leave, bye.” I throw my hand up, faking a wave as I furiously begin to type on the computer, I have to get this order ready before I lose my mind. The door shuts and I assume she’s gone. My eyes roll as I shut the laptop and reach under my desk. My hand wraps around the bottle and I bring it to my lips.

Straight alcohol hardly affects me – and right now, well, this damn whiskey tastes good. I’ve been drinking from the bottle throughout the day, but for some reason this sip just seems better than the previous ones. Just as I guzzle down a few more ounces, I hear the god damn door open again.

“I said for everyone to leave!” I yell as I stand up, slamming the bottle down on the desk. This time it didn’t break though. “You’re a cold hearted bastard, you know.” I hear a familiar voice and I turn towards the door. My eyes freeze as I see my little girl hiding behind Niall’s legs, fear swept across her beautiful face.

“She fuckin’ waited at the park for you.. for four fuckin’ hours, Harry. And you never showed, but it’s no surprise you were drinkin’.” Niall says loudly, he isn’t very happy with me right now – and honestly, I’m not happy with myself either. “The park.. it’s Thursday.” I say with a shrug to myself, not sure why he’s mad at me, I never even got told about this.

“It’s Friday, Harry.” Niall snaps as he steps into the room more, my little angel stays in the hallway an peeps her head around the frame just enough so she could see. “Well I can’t help it I had to-” He cuts off my excuse with a sigh. “I used to be on your fuckin’ side, Harry. I used to believe Emmy was wrong for leaving you when she did, after what happened. But honestly.. I don’t blame her anymore. You’ve ruined your whole life.. and you still don’t fuckin’ care.” Niall’s words hit me hard, he’s supposed to be my friend, he is supposed to understand me.

“I’m taking her back to Emmy’s. Have fun with your whiskey.” Niall turns on his heel quicker than I could blink. Within seconds the door slams shut, and I feel that stabbing pain again in my chest. Years ago, when I first felt that pain, I never wanted to experience it again… but sadly it comes all the time.

And it’s slowly killing me.

I stumble back, falling into my chair. I lean my forehead on the desk and I squeeze my eyes shut. “Why can’t you fucking do anything right!” I scream to myself, despite all the times I try to realize what I’ve done wrong.. I never change. I’m still the same old sorry father.

Katie’s better off not knowing me. At least then her little heart won’t break all the time, and her beautiful eyes won’t flood.

Everything is falling more and more apart as the days drag on – it’s all crumbling and breaking more than it was in the start. This world would be much better off without me in it, because all I do is disappoint, upset, and break people.. Those people are always the ones I love.




I feel bad for Katie

Hope you like the second chapter!

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