Snow

Zabuza's last moments. The minutes of pain and realization, that always touched me deeply.

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1. The death of an angel

You can never be a tool without feelings.

You were too soft. Too emotional. You didn't like the kill. The thrill never got to you. The blood-rush made you sick for days.

Greed had consumed me. I saw only the money. Never what was right in front of me. I remember how you, on those freezing cold winter nights, would snuggle up to me under the blankets, seeking my body's heat and safety. Like a puppy. Sometimes, I would kick you out, but often I would let you cuddle into my chest like the little child you was - and could have lived like, if destiny had been kinder.

The tears on my cheeks have dried out, but my heart is still clenching with agony. I ask that Kakashi-guy to dump my silly corpse beside you. I can’t take the thought of leaving this shitty world without seeing your face one last time.

After removing the weapons deeply embedded in my back, Kakashi picks me up bridal-style, my broken body limp and dangling. He lays me next to your bloodstained frame with far greater care, than I deserve.

I stare up at the sky. Delicate drops of coldness quietly fall on my face.

Snow, I think. Even the sky is crying for you…

The thought almost makes me smile. You were simply too good for this world. You were born with wings, but those foolish villagers couldn't see them. They froze you out. They saw your power and feared its greatness.

I saw it. I lusted for it. Therefore, I saved you. I gave you the slightest taste of the affection you hungered so desperately after. My impure and selfish intentions saved you. But maybe you also saved me in a way, though I was late to realize it… too late…

I know my back is a bloody mess, but that pain is a mere shadow compared to my heart’s aching. As bittersweet, as it is though, that noisy, blond brat has made me realize one thing: I love you. I tilt my head and try to focus on your face. At the very least, I have avenged you.

A single comforting thought keeps spinning in my head. You were too good for this world, so you left it. It is like a mantra, making your sickening death, if only, a little more bearable. We have been together all this time… so I’ll die next to you…

Without your innocent, icy light, everything has suddenly darkened. You were too good for this world, so you left it... Your pale skin shine against your beautiful, black locks. I know how soft they feel. I have enjoyed letting my fingers run through them, fascinated by the way the strays slipped through my grip. You were too good for this world, so you left it…

Even though it should be impossible, by sheer willpower I drag my arm over the ground, up, up, stretching, cupping your cheek. If possible, I’d like to tell you, I want to go to the same place, you are going to… but no. You are going to heaven, I am heading to hell. Inescapably.

A snowflake is caught by your long lashes. It slowly trickles down your cheek. Like a tear... you were too good for this world, so you left it…

Darkness is quickly winning in on my vision. The noises of an empty world fades away. The last thing I sense, before death consumes me, is the soft snow, gently falling to rest on your still, beautiful face, covering it in a thin and fragile death veil.

Goodbye Haku. I love you. I'm sorry I didn't realize sooner. Forgive me...

 

Zabuza’s last breath blows swirls in the flakes around him, and the world is frozen for a moment. In another time, in another life and by the hand of another author, this might not have been their destiny. Yet, with a little good will, through the haze of snowflakes, you could almost imagine a grateful, though bittersweet, smile hint on the thin, curvy lips of the boy from the snow village, as the love of his life quietly fades into the nothingness.

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