Two Nights in Tahoe

Two guys, two girls, drugs, sex, and love

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5. 5

The heater was on and the room was stuffy and suffocating so we walked out to the end of the dock and sat down. The moon was still hanging high in the sky and the high altitude air was refreshing and brisk. Stella was hugging my arm and resting her head on my shoulder. The light breeze blowing on shore brought the smell of her hair to me in subtle burst. Small waves could be heard hitting the dock. We had come out to talk but no words were spoke. The mountains and the moon and the stars and the air and the breeze and the light lapping of waves spoke for us. The silence was making me nervous and I was afraid of failure. I looked up at the moon again.

Conan- Look at all those stars.

Stella- Can you find the big dipper?

Conan- No.

Stella- Its easy.

She pointed at the heavens.

Stella- See the north star, that huge bright one?

Conan- Yeah.

Stella- Just make a straight line down until you get to those two bright stars. There almost all in a straight line.

Conan- Okay I see it.

Stella- Those two stars are the side of the dipper. If you make imaginary lines left from those two stars you’ll see...

Suddenly the big dipper came into view. She absolutely amazed me.

Conan- Yeah I see it now.

She was looking up still. Her eyes were twinkling with stars.

Stella- So beautiful. And if you want to find the little dipper, you just go back to the north star.

She was pointing at the night sky.

Stella- And go left. The north star is the last star in the handle of the little dipper.

Conan- How did you learn all of this?

Stella- I don’t know, I guess I’ve just always been interested in space.

I put my arm around the small of her back. Her head was on my shoulder.

Conan- Do you believe in god?

Stella- Yes of course. I would ask you but I can tell you’ve always been a little athiaste.

Conan- I just believe in science, you know, the big bang.

Stella- I believe in both.

Conan- You can’t believe in both.

Stella- Why not?

Conan- Because its impossible. Science kills religion. They cant coexist.

Stella- To me they can.

Conan- I don’t understand.

Stella- Okay Galileo.

She turned on the dock and faced me.

Stella- I thought about this one time. Wait, do you have your pipe?

I pulled my pipe from my pocket and gave it to her. She packed a bowl.

Stella- I gotta set the mood.

She took a drag and handed the pipe to me.

Stella- Promise you wont laugh or call me crazy?

Conan- Okay,

I laughed and took a drag from the pipe.

Stella- Okay so the big bang started from a single point, exploded, and the universe has been expanding ever since.

Conan- Okay.

Stella- So hypothetically, if we can pretend that whatever makes up space is matter, hypothetically of corse, than the universe cant expand forever because...

Conan- Matter can not be created or destroyed.

Stella- Right, so if thats the case than the universe has to stop at some point. Or so I like to think.

She took another drag from the pipe and handed it back to me.

Stella- So, once it stops expanding what happens?

I took a drag from my pipe and exhaled

Conan- Black hole?

Stella- Possibly. Or the Stella theory. The universe then starts to shrink and it shrinks and condenses,

She was slowly putting her hands together until they met and formed a ball,

Stella- And then,

She threw her hands apart.

Stella- There’s another big bang. And the cycle repeats it self and never stops.

Conan- So what dose that have to with god?

Stella- If its a cycle that never stops and never began, it’s a miracle. A force greater than we can comprehend. A higher power.

Conan- How did you think of this?

Stella- I think I heard it somewhere.

Conan- So its not the Stella theory.

She gave me that lowbrowed look.

Conan- Fine its the Stella theory. I bet astronomers can find loopholes in it everywhere though.

Stella- Probably. I don’t care, its the only way I can believe in god.

I was honestly unsure up to that point but I knew now that I loved her and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. It hit all at once and I was scared by nothing any longer. I loved her.

After a while Stella finally suggested that we move the boat to the end of the dock for easy departure in the morning. I drove it slowly and and tied it up next to where we had been sitting. Stella called up from the bottom deck.

Stella- Can you help me pick up these cans?

I climbed down the ladder. I remember not being able to think. I was running on pure adrenaline, almost trembling as I walked up behind her.

Conan- Stella.

She turned and I pulled her in and our lips met once, twice, a third time followed by Stella pulling away and giving me a look of confusion. My heart dropped.

Connan- Im sorry, ... I...

She lunged at me and kissed me with greater intensity than I had kissed her with and I backed us up into the lounge room where I fell on my back and pulled her down with me. Our lips touching the entire time. Her braces made a funny sound when they hit my teeth, and we laughed braking the tension a bit. To my surprise she took her shirt off, I had no idea what the hell I was doing so I took mine off, then her braw and my pants and her pants. We spent the rest of the night in the boat, repeating, repeating, repeating, until we could no longer move and we laid in each others arms naked and breathless. The sun was creeping over the mountain peaks to the east, casting an early morning hugh over naked flesh. Stella was drawing figure eights on my chest with her finger. She let out an impatient breath.

Conan- I want to be with you

Stella- Than be with me.

Conan- And Michelle?

Stella- I don’t know.

Conan- She doesn’t have to know.

Stella- Were cursed, the way we feel, its a curse.

Conan- No.

I pulled her in closer

Conan- Its a gift that most people never receive... Like our parents.

Stella- You don’t think they felt this way at some point?

Conan- No. Would you ever leave me?

Stella- Never. We’ve been side by side for years.

I put my lips against her forehead.

Stella- I hope the sun never makes it over those mountains.

The light from the sun grew brighter and we felt exposed being naked in it’s presence so we dressed and went inside to our separate rooms to sleep. As we tiptoed passed Michelle I noticed her arm was draped to the ground and her face was pushed up against a pillow with her mouth open, breathing heavily. She was still wearing her bikini.

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