Drowning in Air

I am taking my last breath, but the oxygen is all around

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1. Breathing

In a bubble, I am wrapped, but not sweet 

It is time for me and darkness to meet

Monsters on my shoulders, not under my bed

Monsters are not under there, but in our heads

A shadow nags at my side, he tells me to be sad

A shadow nags at me, he makes me act like I am mad

I am not mad, but terrified. His name is unknown, but he is inside

Some call him depression, others call him anxiety, but light has died

I start to break him but his fists are tighter than mine, I rip, I pray

He falls once, and I feel myself gasp for air, but again he ruins the day

He makes me feel that I am invisible, a ghost over there

I am drowning yet I have lots of air, I am drowning in the air

The smiling person, the one who seems the most unknown

Has secrets and doors opened to places they have grown

He let me believe he left, I thought he was gone and I turned my back

But he was not gone, he was waiting on my shoulder, ready to attack

He is the one who makes me ask for reassurance, makes me fear

He is the one that tries to plunge me into deeper waters, underneath here

I can't breathe as he smuggles my head deeper under the waves 

One day I pushed and he lessened his grip, he started to cave

He still nags at my shoulder, asking me to play

But he has decreased lots from those days

I only see him now, less than once a month but still

I am needing reassurance, but it is better than his kill

My head is above the water, and soon a life jacket will be there

And no longer will I feel this shadow, no longer will I be drowning in air 

 

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