Meant to Be

"Love isn't easy, and no one said it was. But now that she's gone, I have nothing to live for. No reason to wake up in the morning. No reason to go to work. I'm broken, and the only thing that can heal her."

"Leaving him was the hardest thing I could've ever done. But I can't go back now, everything is a mess, and I'll just make it worse"

Cover by: Beautifully Music Nerd
(She makes awesome covers)


29. 29


"So what's it like?" I asked Niall. We were on the plane and everyone else was sleeping.

"What love?" He asked his Irish accent thick.

"To be famous." I said, he smiled a little. "Well it's a bit crazy, the fans are great, the papz a little annoying, but sometimes I wish I had a normal life y'know?" He said I nodded.

"I know what it feels like." I said he furrowed his eyebrow.

"Like what?" He asked.

"Like you want to be normal but whatever you do your not." I said.

"What do you mean?" He asked. Before I could think I blurted out

"When you have depression, anxiety, and you refuse to eat, things can get crazy." I mentally slapped myself.

His lips formed an O.

"I'm so sorry love." He said I felt my cheeks getting hot.

"It's fine just....don't tell the guys?" I said.

"Does Ash know?" I nodded.

"Then I swear." He said holding up his pinkie. I locked it with mine.

I laid back only another hour.

"Please buckle up we are landing shortly" the voice over the speaker said. My stomach had been filled with knots this whole ride. I hated planes they gave me so much anxiety.

I was trying so hard not to lose my sh*t. Breathe in.

Breathe out.

That calmed me a bit. We were finally landing after being on the fu*king plane for two hours.

I saw Ashton's eyes slowly open, smiling as he showed his adorable dimples.

"Hey baby" he said in a raspy voice taking my hand in his.

"Hi" I said in a quiet voice.

"You okay?" He asked, I shook my head. He sat up a bit and rubbed my back.

"What's wrong?" He asked, I sighed.

"I'm do tired of this stupid anxiety. Of feeling I'm gonna throw up any minute."I placed my head in my hands.

"I just want it to disappear." I said.

"I know baby, trust me if I could take it all away I would, but I can't baby, I'm so, so sorry." He said. I looks up into his eyes, he smiled lightly.

We got off the plane and the anxiety that had left for a few minutes came back as I saw the huge crowd.

I felt my lungs close.


I couldn't have a panic attack right now.

But I had no control over my body. I began to shake and the knots in my stomach got tighter. My lungs closed and I gasped for air, trying to get some.

Ashton noticed and picked me up running me to a couch. He sat me down and rubbed my back.

I felt tears form in my eyes as they started to spill.

"It's okay Everleigh. Baby you're okay." He said. All the guys came over watching wide eyes as I choked for air.

I shut my eyes tight and breathed in. It was finally over. I opened my eyes again and Ashton hugged me.

"What happend?" Shawn asked, but I just ignored him as I stood up. I took the puffer out of my pocket and breathed in the chemicals before putting it back.

I took a deep breath and looked at the crowd.

"I can't go in there" I said pointing to it. Ashton nodded picking me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist.

"Boys come!" He yelled and they all followed as Ashton ran through the crowed. I hid my face on his shoulder my arms around his neck tight.

I felt him stop running and I looked up to see we were outside. All the boys behind us carrying their suitcases. There was a limo. Ashton threw me in then sat beside me holding my hand as the other boys hopped in.

"What was that about?" Jake asked. "Did you break a nail?" Shawn asked causing the boys to laugh except for Niall and Ashton.

He looked at me , the comment hurt. But I wouldn't tell them that.

"F*ck off Shawn that was serious!" Ashton yelled.

"Calm man I was only joking." He said. That made me mad. He joked about my medical conditions. He thought this was a joke. I felt tears form in my eyes, I didn't want to cry I front of them.

"Stop the car!" I yelled and the car came to a stop. I opened the door quickly closing it behind me and running as fast as I could away.

Where was I going? I hadn't a clue. All I knew was I didn't want to be in the car. I ran around a corner and slide my back down the wall of some building.

I brought my knees to my chest and cried.

I felt a arm around my shoulders.

"It's okay love." I looked up to. See Niall. I looked into his blue eyes. He moved his face closer to mine.

"Everleigh." He said.

"Yea." I said not breaking eye contact.

"I'm gonna kiss you now." He said. I quickly put my hands over my mouth.

"No you're not." I said in my hands.

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