Meant to Be

"Love isn't easy, and no one said it was. But now that she's gone, I have nothing to live for. No reason to wake up in the morning. No reason to go to work. I'm broken, and the only thing that can heal her."

"Leaving him was the hardest thing I could've ever done. But I can't go back now, everything is a mess, and I'll just make it worse"

Cover by: Beautifully Music Nerd
(She makes awesome covers)


26. 26


I cried all the way home. Grayson held my hand rubbing smooth circles in my palm.

"It's okay love" he would say over and over. When we got to Ashton's apartment. He walked me to the door step. He began to walk back to his car when I grabbed his hand.

"Please.....stay" I choked. He nodded and I opened the door.

We went to the bedroom and he helped me unzip my dress then I went in the bathroom to change into my pajamas.

When I got back out he was laying on the bed watching t.v. I went to lay beside him.

He wrapped his arm around me.

"You okay love?" He asked in his British accent. I nodded biting my nails. He took my hand out of my mouth.

"It'll ruin your nails" he said, I giggled a little.

I heard a knock on the front door. I looked at Grayson, he looked down at me.

"I'll get it" he asked getting up. I nodded and he left the room. I sighed to myself.

I heard a scream, I opened the bedroom door to see Grayson laying on the floor, holding his mouth. There was blood on the floor. Ashton was standing at the door looking down at him.

Grayson saw me.

"Everleigh go back in the bedroom where it's safe." He croaked. I began to shake, tears formed in my eyes, it was getting hard to breathe. If felt as if my lungs were closing. I gasped for air. My head was dizzy.

I ran over to Grayson and helped him up. I looked into Ashton's eyes. What was once filled with hate and violence, was now regret and sorrow.

I couldn't breathe I knew it was a panic attack. Grayson held me in a tight hug. "It's okay love, breathe" he said rubbing circles on my back. I wheezed trying to get some air inside on my body.

I saw Ashton rushing over.

"Baby are you okay" he said holing my hand and kissing it. Tears fell from my eyes and I could feel my face redden from lack of oxygen.


You need to breathe.

"Everleigh please talk to me" Ashton pleaded. I wanted to talk, I wanted to be fine. But I wasn't. I suddenly felt something in my stomach. Making it's way up my throat.

I kneeled down and threw up. Breathing was a bit easier now, I cried throwing up. My stomach hurt.

"Love are you okay?" Grayson asked. I shook my head. I could see Ashton's face through my tears. He too was crying.

I wanted to hug him. Hide my face in his chest. Soaking his shirt.

But at the same time I wanted to be as far away from him as possible.

He reached his hand out to me. I backed away from him. I was scared my anxiety filled my body over taking me entirely. I couldn't breathe. I attempted gasps of air but none of them made it in. I tried I reach for Grayson, scream for help. But I couldn't.

Both of them stared at me wide eyes. I could see their mouths moving but nothing was coming out. I held my knees to my chest and shut my eyes tight. I just wanted this panic attack to be over.

Suddenly I stopped shaking. I could breathe again. I could hear Ashton talking to me. I opened my eyes, to see his face.

Finally it was over. Ashton crouched down to my level.

"Baby can you hear me? Are you okay?" He was asking. I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck still crying. He wrapped his arms around me kissing the top of my head. I could hear him mumbling things like 'Thank God' and 'Praise The Lord.' I was happy to finally be in his arms.

I hated my panic attacks.

I hated my depression.

I hated my eating disorder.

I just wanted it to be gone.

To be normal and happy.

But I was given a challenge.

And I have to concur it.

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