Meant to Be

"Love isn't easy, and no one said it was. But now that she's gone, I have nothing to live for. No reason to wake up in the morning. No reason to go to work. I'm broken, and the only thing that can heal me...is her."

"Leaving him was the hardest thing I could've ever done. But I can't go back now, everything is a mess, and I'll just make it worse"

Cover by: Beautifully Music Nerd
(She makes awesome covers)

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23. 23

//Everleigh//

I don't know what to do.

Do I go on tour with Ashton and Tash?

Do I stay home with my dad?

I'm torn between my dad and my boyfriend.

I decided to call my dad, we would only be gone for a couple months, right.

The phone ring twice then he picked up.

"Hi Princess" he said in a cheerful tone.

"Hi Daddy, can I ask you something?"

"Anything baby" he said.

"Well Ashton's going on tour...could I go?" I asked, he was silent, then spoke. "Will you be in the same room as....Ashton?" He asked in a quiet voice.

"Well I already am here." I said, more silence.

"Okay....you can go..just..be safe please." He said.

"Of course Daddy, Love you" I said. "Love you too" he said, and the line went dead.

Ashton came out of the room.

"You ready?" He asked, walking over to me.

"Yea" I said and we headed out the door.

The waitress brought our food and within ten minutes Ashton was about done. I sighed making shapes in my food with my fork.

"Baby are you gonna eat?" He asked me. I shook my head and handed him the plate. He pushed it back to me.

"You should eat something" he said. I looked down at my hands in my lap. There was one thing he didn't know about me. Tears filled my eyes.

"Everleigh?" He said, I looked up in his eyes, they were filled of hurt.

"Everleigh..do..do you think you're fat?" His words hit me like knives. I felt a few tears trickle down my face as I looked down at my hands in my lap.

"Yea" I said in a quiet voice, but I knew he heard me.

He came over and held me in his strong arms.

"You're not fat" he whispered in my ear. "How do you know?" I asked him.

"Have you seen yourself? You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen" his words made my heart melt.

"I'm sorry" I said.

"Don't be sorry we will fix this together" he said. I smiled.

"Thank you" and kissed his soft lips.

"No problem, wanna go home?" I nodded and he helped me up walking to the front desk to pay, for our meal, we then walked out the door hand in hand.

We cuddled on the couch, watching a movie Ashton picked, it was horror and although I hated horror movies, I decided to watch it. Sometimes love makes us do crazy things, or things we hate.

I began to think. About tonight, about what Ashton had found out, yes I thought I was fat, and I had since I was like fourteen. I remember thinking that I was fat and that I ate too much. So I began not to eat anything at all.

My dad than began to catch on so I would eat in front of him and then when he went to bed throw it up. I remember crying myself to sleep, because I thought I was fat.

I remember telling my dad I was going to Tash's house when really I was going to the gym. Pushing myself so much until I felt sick.

Then I remember that day, my dad walked in on me when I was throwing up, and how there were tears in his eyes. And how we both cried together, I slept in his bed and he held me tight, telling me I wasn't fat, that I was beautiful.

I remember how hurt he was and how much money he spent for me to go to a therapist, for help. It didn't really help me considering I wasn't really eating three years later.

I vowed to myself I would eat, for Ashton, I didn't want to hurt him the same way I hurt my dad.

Here's a secret.

Everyone thought, I thought I was fat, but I didn't. I did after a while but before I was fine. The real reason I didn't eat was because I thought my mom left, because I was ugly.

Fat.

Not worth her time.

I tourtured myself because I thought.

Maybe she might come back.

But she never did.

Never came back.

So I tried harder.

And a few years later she comes to my front door calling me a slut.

I'm done with her.

And trying to impress her.

She's now gone from my life.

Forever.

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