Meant to Be

"Love isn't easy, and no one said it was. But now that she's gone, I have nothing to live for. No reason to wake up in the morning. No reason to go to work. I'm broken, and the only thing that can heal her."

"Leaving him was the hardest thing I could've ever done. But I can't go back now, everything is a mess, and I'll just make it worse"

Cover by: Beautifully Music Nerd
(She makes awesome covers)


13. 13


"Hi what can I get you?"

"Um...espresso double shot"

"Coming right up!" And I walked back to the coffee machine. That's where I was working now a coffee shoppe in New York. I had an apartment close by.

I miss Ashton I really do, sometimes I wonder why I left him. But then I know if I go back everything will be a mess. Here no one knows my past, no one knows who I am and I'd like to keep it that way. I still have his number, but I'm not ready to call him.

Since my shift was over I decided to go for a walk. I thought about Ashton. About what he was probably doing right now. Cutting. Crying. Hurting. Just as I was. I started to cry. I missed him so much. I regretted leaving him. I wanted him to hold me. Kiss me.

Love me.

I just wanted him back.

But I was now too late.

Too late to tell him I loved him.

I saw a train track. Knowing the train would be near by, I stood in the middle of the track. I wanted nothing to with my life. Surely he would find someone else. Someone who wouldn't leave him. I saw the train light up ahead. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Perhaps my last.

The train honked warning me to move but I stay put.

Waiting for the impact of the train.

I heard it closer, and closer it came.

Move! Move over! A voice in my head said. But I stay put. The train now blasting it's horn. I could see the lights through my eyelids.


I open my eyes. I see a boy. A handsome boy. On top of me. I see the train tracks the train gone. I look at him. "What were you doing!?" He yelled at me. I pushed him off and stood up. But I fell. My ankle it hurt. So much. "Here let me help you up." This stranger said and he helped me up. It took everything in my not to scream in pain. I guess he could see that I was hurting because he put my arm around his neck helping me walk.

"Who are you?" I asked. "On where are my manners...Hello love I'm Ethan" he smiled, his smile reminded me of Ashton and his smile. "I...Everleigh" I said. "Pleasure to meet you Miss. Everleigh" he shook my hand. "If you don't mind my asking what were you doing standing in the middle of the track while the train was coming."

"" I stuttered could I really trust him? I changed the subject. "I should get home" I said. Trying to walk away but once again I fell. He chuckled, "How 'bout I help you home" he said I nodded. Only because there was no other way I would make it home.

When we got to my apartment. He helped me in and I sat on the couch. "Where's your first-aid kit?" He asked me. "Oh um..I'm fine actually" I said. "No I might as well bandage you up" he said. "Okay, in the kitchen under the sink." I said and he made his way to the kitchen. He came back and carefully places my ankle in his lap. He took out a bandage and wrapped it around my ankle. I cringed from pain. "Thank you" I said as he stood back up. "It's my pleasure" he said. "No I mean for saving me" I said looking into his brown eyes. "What do you mean?" He asked sitting beside me. "If it wasn't for you someone very important would have been crushed" I said, "and who is this someone?" He asked. "Ashton" I whispered. "Who's Ashton?" He asked. I held back tears that filled my eyes. "My strength" I whispered. I looked at him tears stained my cheeks. He rubbed circles on my hand he was holding. "I'm sorry" he said, I nodded. "I better get to bed" I said trying to get up. "Allow me to help" he said scooping me up and carrying me. "Which room?" I pointed and he ran, bumping me up and down causing me to giggle.

Once he placed me in my bed, he kissed my forehead. "Goodnight" he said. "Goodnight" I said. "Please make sure to lock the door" I said he nodded and left the room. I don't know why I trusted him but something about him made me feel safe. I didn't close my eyes until I heard the door lock and close, then I fell asleep.

Today reminded me of Ashton. Helping me. Carrying me. Kissing my forehead. I dreamt about him. About him crying, cutting his wrists. Blaming himself. And I felt my broken heart. I missed him.

I really did.

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