Lost In The Shadows

I’m Brooklyn Addison. I prefer to be referred to by my middle name which my dad gave me: Malia. Brooklyn screams your typical stuck up, bubbly and full of life teenager but that was the old me...

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14. Lost and Goodbye.

Chapter Fourteen.

Strolling into the house, I saw my dad casually sitting his standard arm chair. As soon as he saw me, he jerked up and his pale face lit up vibrantly. “Malia!” rushing over to me, he gave me a long squeeze kissing my forehead. “Aww, my baby’s finally home.” Not long after, the two brats also known as my sisters; came running down the stairs. They tried to jump on me for a hug, I immediately moved back, my dad’s affection was enough. My dad shot me a look to say ‘hug them back, weird child’, he didn’t understand that I couldn’t care less for people’s touch, well their touch anyway.

After spending long enough with my small, broken family; I ran upstairs into my room. Falling onto my bed, I was reunited with my love. I sunk into my memory foam pillows beginning to undress myself; I had been sharing a bed with Mason for months and I couldn’t just sleep in my underwear but now, I could be free. Then randomly, I heard a knock on my door. “Ugh.” I whispered, putting my dressing gown on, “One second.” I opened the door to see my dad standing outside, looking down at the flooring with a bunch of letters in his hand. When he saw me, he handed me the letters. “Here we go, Malia. These came for you whilst you were gone.”

I flicked through them quickly, I just wanted to get in bed and watch my manga cartoons, most of them were bank letters by the looks of it. However, one stood out to me the logo at the corner of the envelope read, ‘Cosmopolitan London’. Rapidly, I tore open the envelope and read:

Dear, Ms Brooklyn Addison.

We are pleased to inform you of a newly opened position at our London Based Offices as you have been strongly recommended to us by one of our top editors in the US based offices.

We are offering you a 6-month writers apprenticeship here in London, providing accommodation and flights.

You have until the 16th of September to get back to us as we will be flying you out in the next three weeks. We look forward to hearing from you soon and hope that you will accept this amazing opportunity.

Yours faithfully, the team at London Cosmopolitan.

 

I stared at the letter for another ten minutes, screaming inside. They were right, this was a fantastic opportunity, but London? Could I pick up everything and leave my home, my friends, my family, Mason, Aiden? Everything in my life? It was so confusing, I had absolutely no experience in Journalism, no connections. Who had possibly recommended me?

I lay on my teal bed-sheets contemplating my future. No. I’ve made promises to Mason, I was going to make-up with Aiden at the end of the week. There was no point going to see him as soon as I got back because it was an hour drive and I had no car. It made sense to speak to him when I got there and was staying for good. London seemed so amazing, but I couldn’t, I couldn’t leave everything behind.

***

The days had gone so slow, Aiden hadn’t been answering my calls, all I could think about was London. I re-watched Harry Potter over my last week. The British accents were so beautiful and different, the people seemed so much more chill and to themselves unlike here where everyone was in up in your business.

It was finally the day where I left. Whilst my dad put my boxes into his Range Rover, I actually hugged my sisters one by one. It wasn’t until I l was leaving them for the first time that I realised how much they meant to me, how much I loved them. Yes, they annoyed the living hell out of me and always wanted a reaction out of me but that was them and that’s why I loved them.

 “I’m really going to miss you guys.”

They looked at each other with slight confusion, “Wait, is that human emotions coming from our sister?” Eva laughed sarcastically.

“Hmm, I suppose it is, Eva. But you’re still little brats, don’t try me.”

“But we’re going to miss our big sister being around, Malia.” Mia said as her face saddened.

“I’m only an hour away, I’m going to come visit on the half terms and sometimes on the weekend.”

After finally getting them to get off me, I headed out of the door walking towards my dad in the car. “Don’t miss me too much!”

***

My dad and I shared a soppy goodbye, he cried, I squeezed out the tears, he told me not to leave then he changed his mind. It was an emotional rollercoaster, but we did eventually part after he helped me bring all the boxes into my new dorm room. I hadn’t met my roommate yet, some people hadn’t arrived yet, which was lucky. I sat on my sheet less mattress for a second looking around at all of the empty boxes but then immediately shot up, leaving the room. I hurried to the reception.

“Hello? Excuse me, I’m looking for a friend’s room. Aiden Carson?” It was weird calling him a ‘Friend’ because he was just Aiden, my Aiden.

“Yes, just one second Madam.” The receptionist said to me, politely. Did she really just call me Madam? She followed her finger across the Mac screen and slowly said, “Yes. Aiden Carson; Room 35a.”

“Thank you!” I articulated happily, rushing off down the corridor, checking each room number as I went past. Finally, after running past many, many dorm room doors, I found 35a.

Excitedly, I knocked on the door with the biggest smile on my face. I waited for a minute but no one answered, I knew he was in the room; the dorms were small and I could hear his breathing through the door.

“Aiden, I know you’re in there. You need to open the door because…” I stopped for a second, “… I love you Aiden. I always have and I always will. I couldn’t say it before, it just scared the living hell out of me to let someone in but the only way I see myself being even the slightest bit happy is if I’m with you.” I waited and waited, but no answer.

As I sat down against his door, I could feel his heart beat faster and faster on the other side. “What is it? Do you want me to explain why? Is that it Aiden? Have you ever fallen for someone just emotionally at first? Because that’s how I fell for you. It wasn’t just the physical attraction. It was the things you say and how you’re always able to cheer me up no matter the circumstances. For the way I could count on you when times got rough. It must sound creepy but I watch you sometimes without you even noticing, the trivial things you do, the way you get so enthusiastic about the things you love…” I silenced myself and my relaxed muscles began to tense all over again. “There’s nothing I can say that will make you realise that we belong with each other, is there?”

Slowly, still left with the tiniest bit of hope, I got up from the floor and began walking away, all my hope was shredded the further away I got. Abruptly, a door opened. “Stop.” He whispered. I tried to hide the huge relief and strode back.

Walking in, I studied his perfect face. It had been three months and just in case I couldn’t see him for a long time again, I savoured it. He sat on his bed and gestured for me to take a seat. I looked at him and mentally checked to see if it was ok to hug him. He nodded and I leant in closer to him, burying myself in him. This didn’t feel like a hello hug, it felt like a goodbye. Pulling away after a few minutes, taking a deep breath, Aiden said, “Of course I love you too, these last few months all I have wanted to do was call you up and tell you to come home. The love I have for you will never leave but I can’t see myself being in a relationship with you. I value people’s trust and I don’t know if I will ever trust you again. I can’t stay away from you; can we still be friends? How we used to be?”

It felt like he had just pulled my cold, dark heart out of my chest and crushed it with his bare hands but I couldn’t show him that. I was to blame for this, it was all on me. If I had never kissed Mason or even went back to his hotel room that night, none of this would’ve happened. “I understand.” I got up from his bed, “I guess, I’ll see you in class?” I asked, hoping for him to tell me to stay, hoping he would take back everything and hold me forever. “Yeah, I’ll see you in class Malia.” Moving the hair out of my face to behind my ear, I noticed a girl’s gold hoop earring with specks of black detail laying on the pillow. He saw me look at it and quickly said, “My sister visited yesterday, she must’ve forgot it here.”

The whole time I was there, I needed to pee badly but it didn’t feel right casually asking “Can I use your bathroom?”

My dorm was too far for me to hold it any longer. I rushed into the girl’s public bathroom and rushed into a stall. My nostrils flinched as I smelt a very familiar boujee perfume, Maddison. Walking out of the stall, I saw my dear old friend. “Maddison? What are you doing here?”

“Malia! Ah, nice to see a familiar face.”

“Heh, yeah. So, what are you doing here?”

“I’m going here, silly.”

I put on my fakest smile and walked over to the sinks. Washing my hands, as quick as possible, so I could get out of there. Maddison, one of my worst enemies, my ‘Ex-Best Friend’, was going to the same University as me, amazing. “Ah, I’ve lost my earring.” Maddison sighed.

“What does it look like?” I questioned obliviously. She took her pale pink Chanel bag from her shoulder and pulled out a single gold hoop earring from her bag, a gold hoop earring with specks of black detail….

TO BE CONTINUED…

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