Lost In The Shadows

I’m Brooklyn Addison. I prefer to be referred to by my middle name which my dad gave me: Malia. Brooklyn screams your typical stuck up, bubbly and full of life teenager but that was the old me...


5. Lost and Broken.

Chapter Five.


“This is my new girlfriend, Mia and Mia this is my best friend Malia.” I was too late, he had already found someone else. All that time I was rejecting him, he was out there finding someone better. Best friend? Talk about friend zoned. “Oh, nice to meet you Mia.” She got closer to me and hugged me. “I’ve heard so many lovely things about you, I feel like I know you already! You must’ve heard a lot about me?” I laughed and gave Aiden a look.

“Yeah, loads…” lying through my teeth, Aiden had never mentioned anything about this Mia girl.

“Well, now you guys have met. How about after school we all go out?” he looked at me and then Mia and then back at me again.

“Oh shoot, sorry I have a thing with um, I have a thing after school. Sorry guys, I should get going.”



I was so confused, I thought they would love each other. Her ‘Thing’ was obviously a lie, the only thing that she did after school was hang out with me or go home. I didn’t tell Malia about Mia was because I thought maybe I still had a chance with her but then, nothing. Mia was never going to be Malia, ever. But I couldn’t wait for her for forever.


I left school early and went straight home. I was right back to where I started, on square one all alone again. When I got in I realised everyone was at work and school, I broke down. Letting it all out, I slid down onto the floor slowly, banging my head against the wall. Everything was going to be perfect, I was finally going to be happy for once but that cow ruined it, the worst thing was; she wasn’t a cow, she was stunning and amazing. She could probably make Aiden happier than I ever could. I hugged my knees tightly, rocking back and forth. I tried not to, but I did, cold tears ran down the edge of my numb cheeks. Burying my head in my hands, my mind filled with a thousand different feelings: Hurt, jealousy, guilt, regret. Aiden was the only thing that was going good in my life, he was mine for a minute but then I lost him.

It wasn’t just that I had feelings for him and I had to lost him to another girl, it was that I realised I loved him and I didn’t know I was even capable of loving anymore. People might say that it was too soon to know that I loved him but I didn’t have normal reasons for loving him like normal girls would have. That was it, I wasn’t normal. He understood that I wasn’t normal and he liked me for that. He didn’t want to change me, he just wanted to be there for me.  He was my anchor, the only person in life that made me want to be here. I knew I would never find anyone like him again and that was the worst part. I was different to other girls, In the eyes of todays society I wasn’t ‘beautiful’. I wasn’t a size six, I didn’t have perfectly straight blonde hair, I didn’t have golden tanned skin and gorgeous blue eyes. I was a size ten, my hair was frizzy and dark, I was pale and my eyes were the colour of most people’s eyes, not hazel, brown. Aiden liked or loved, I don’t even know but I knew he liked my flaws and imperfections because that was me, Malia.

 The pain was horrible, it consumed me…

I ran upstairs into my dad’s bathroom. Looking in the mirror, mascara was running down my face and my eyes were blood shot red. Frantically, I opened his medicine cabinet and saw a bottle of Xanax pills. I needed something to calm my nerves down, just one.


The next few weeks were absolute hell, I knew it wasn’t good but I had finished the whole bottle of his Xanax, my dad wouldn’t be missing them. He was perfectly healthy but a few years ago, the doctor prescribed them to him. I needed more just to get through the day.

I was falling asleep on my desk as usual until I heard my teacher shout my name. Mrs Davenport stated rubbish about tests, I couldn’t clearly make up the full words. But a few minutes later, she placed a test that I had done last week. I saw a huge, red ‘FAIL’, I wasn’t exactly surprised. The last few weeks I only had one bottle of Xanax but I needed more to keep me awake. I was always still awake at 6 am and then I had to wake up for school.

Once the bell rang, I darted into the corridor. All the students in the corridor were like blurs and outlines of people that I knew. Nothing was clear, I needed them pills. Remembering this boy that sold pills at school, I turned back the other direction. My head was down, I had sunglasses on, my hair was in a messy bun and not the cute Tumblr messy bun. Suddenly, I felt someone bumping into me. “Oh, sorry Malia.” I looked up and saw Aiden, I should’ve recognised his very familiar aftershave. Of course, I couldn’t let him see me like this, he could always tell when something was wrong with me, he could read me so well and I didn’t want that today. So, I kept my head down. “Uh- it’s fine. I’ve got to go.” I tried to walk off past him but he pulled me back.

“Malia, are you alright? You seem distant all of sudden and I haven't heard from you in ages.” He needed to let me go, I needed to get to the boy before the bell rang again. “Is this about Mia? If it is I’m really sorry. I should’ve told…” at this point he was holding my hands up trying to look into my eyes.

“Aiden! I’m fine, I really need to go. Okay?” and I was off.

Scanning around the outside area, I spotted the boy. ‘The boy’ I didn’t even know his name and I was going to take pills off of him. Running up to him, “Hey, um. So, the thing is…” I tried to quickly make up an excuse. “…I have a really bad headache. I can’t wait till after school to get to get them at the pharmacy. So?”  he looked me up and down, twice. “Alright, what do you want for your…” pausing. “Headache?” obviously not believing me. “Uh, Xanax would be good.” He nodded and put his hand out, “30.” I rolled my eyes and rummaged through my purse searching for notes.


At lunch, I was sitting with Mia but I couldn’t stop thinking about Malia. I needed to know she was ok. It was awful, I was with Mia but Malia was always on my mind. I thought Mia would be a distraction from Malia but she just tore us apart. Suddenly, Malia walked into the cafeteria looking so much better than earlier. “One sec Mia.” I ran up to her, “You’re coming to sit with us and I’m not taking no for an answer.” I smiled at her.

I got her to sit with us, finally. “Yeah, so then I shouted at the lady. Like she literally didn’t even ask for the size and I was just like what is this customer service.” Mia was rambling on about, god knows what. I was watching Malia sit there bored out of her mind. Her leg was shaking under the table and ‘tap, tap, tap’ her hands went. Cutting off Mia I said, “Malia, are you feeling alright?” she looked at me immediately.

“Hmm, yeah. I was just so tired this morning so I got a coffee.” She smiled like nothing was wrong, Mia put her hand on mine and kissed me on the cheek. Probably wanting the attention on her as usual.

 A bit later, she left to go to her class and we were going the opposite directions. “Is she always like that?” Mia said as we walked down the corridor. “What do you mean? I think she is just a bit stressed with school.” She laughed, “Wow, you really can’t see it?” I looked at her, confused. What was she getting at?

“She’s on drugs Aiden. Anyone with two working eyes can see It.”


**Authors Note**

In no way, is the character Malia a representation of me. I don’t do drugs, I’m not going through any of these problems this is just  a character I have made up with my imagination. But I hope you are enjoying the story so far! Thank you for reading… 😊

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