The Great Storm of 1774

(COMPLETED) Read along as 15 year old Angelica Lexington is left alone to take care of her four younger siblings at the height of the revolution, in Georgia. She looks back on her life through her vivid and inspiring writing. Yellow for death, disease and injury.

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32. Let Yourself Cry

Thoughts exploded in my head like ink in water. What would my mother think? Oh, what would my mother have thought? I had no clue. What should I do? Where to start, the doctor, father? And I had 3 crying children on my hands. I knew I had to say something, craft something together. Mother would...mother would....mother would write something! She wouldn't be crying, I had to be strong. Strong like her! I was her now. The woman of the household. I had to think of something to say.

 

So I opened up my mouth to speak. I resisted the urge to break into tears. But as I tried to think of something to say all I could think of was that I was an awful person, that this was all my fault and my family would hate me. I tried to push those thoughts away because every time I thought that, I couldn't help but want to break down and cry. I began to talk, about filler stuff. I tried saying something about heaven, but my head hurt too much to put 2 and 2 together. I felt my throat getting tight closing in on me. Don't cry. I felt my heart beating faster. Don't cry. I felt a lump in my throat, rising through my chest, and over taking me. Don't cry. And then, I felt one cold, lonely, salty tear, gliding it's way across my face. You need to let yourself cry. You are crying. Let yourself cry.

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