RANTS AND JUST STUFF I WISH I COULD TELL OTHERS IRL

I wish...

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1. Rant

I always feel so lonely, crying myself to sleep sometimes. Ever since I found out that my friends were not good friends, I've been trying to stay away from them. Then I realized that I'm no better than them, that I'm a fucking horrible person, lying to people all the time. But by then, I'd already lost all my friends. It's so lonely... I just wish I could find someone who would love me, care about me. I know my parents care about me, I think, but they don't understand me. I'm afraid they never will because they don't go through the things I go through. I wanna die, I wanna commit suicide, and yet I send other people reasons why they shouldn't. How can I help others if I can't even help myself? I'm useless in this world and yes. I am a fucking waste of space and I just... I just wanna die. It's just that... I'm too afraid to kill myself. I a fucking scaredy cat and that's more of a reason to kill myself but... I just, I'm too scared. I wish, I never lived. So many more people would be happier if I didn't exist. 

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