Reasons For Living

Sammy is a boy with very many problems and very little time to figure it out. With high school ending and the future looming ahead, Sammy must make decisions that will shape how he lives the rest of his life, starting with covering up a murder.

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1. Reason 1

Tyler Johnson

I spent my entire summer anticipating Senior year. Spending 3 years in hell, just to be the kings and queens of the school. Or at least that's what the kids in my class said... Idiots. You see, this isn't some cliche story. I'm not some little white nerd that gets bullied and ends up falling for the dream football player. I'm not the football player with a girlfriend that ends up having to choose between my hot ass girlfriend and the bullied little white nerd. No. I'm the guy that bullies the little white nerd. Why? You ask... because he's aggravating. He sits there and acts like a know it all... and maybe he does know it all, but at least be a little humble and considerate to the people who can't understand basic algebra. And his voice, his high-pitched squeaky annoying voice I can't stand it. It's not him being gay that I don't like... it's just how feminine and over the top he is. I don't get it. Most people at my school hate me because according to them I "hate gay people". Which I find hilarious considering I suck dick everyday after school. Who's dick, you might ask. Well, the dick belongs to my loving and caring boyfriend, the football team's running back, Tyler Johnson. Tyler has been there for me through any and everything.

When I was four, my mother decided that she couldn't deal with having children and had a mental breakdown. About two days later I was removed from my house and I haven't seen my mom since. I spent 10 years going from home to home. Eventually I found my self in the home of Madeline Randings. Ms. Madeline was a dream come true. I was never in an unmanageable home, but I had been in a few bad ones. Ms. Madeline never had children of her own, so she fostered children. She had always made sure I was nothing less than perfect. Always made sure I was at school, checked my grades every day, disciplined me when they were bad, and just cared. For once in my life, I finally felt like I had a home. One thing that no one knew  about Ms. Madeline is that she was sick. I was the eldest child in the house, so I was the first she told. By then, she was too sick to help. She passed away near the end of Freshman year and I was placed in another foster home at the beginning of Sophomore year. That's when I met Tyler. 

I was, to say the least, emotionally unstable and I would take my anger and pain out on anyone who was in arms reach. One day Tyler saw me beating the shit out of that nerdy little white boy and ran over to stop me. And when I felt him grab me, I didn't stutter before elbowing him to get him off. Eventually he did get me off and I finally saw his face. I was his eyes, and how green they were. The next thing I noticed, was the blood that was pouring out of his mouth. In that moment, I knew any chance of getting in his pants were  gone. I had elbowed him in the face and now he was bleeding. I asked if he needed help and he said he was fine. He also told me to stop being such a dick, but I think we all know that that's pretty impossible at this point. I knew that I had to see him again. Even if it was for just a moment. I had to tell him I was sorry. I don't know why or what I was thinking. It was crazy. Apologize? Me? For some guy who I just want to have sex with? Okay, maybe somewhere deep, deep down inside, I was hoping that there would be some spark and something would come out of it.

I spent the entire year trying to convince him that I was a nice guy and put of with little nerdy white boys stupid voice and aggravating ego. I just wanted him to give me a chance. And he eventually did. We spent the summer together. I told him my feelings for him the week before Junior year began and he told me that the feelings were mutual. So we started dating. Every day it would be the same routine. We'd both wake up, he'd pick me up from the park near my house, we'd go to school, pretend we were just friends, come home to his house, hang out, have sex, talk about life, and then I would walk home. He would always offer to take me home, but I couldn't let anyone know that we were together. Especially not this foster parent. He would be understanding and the entire year happened this way... well, almost the entire year. I know what you're thinking. This sounds like some super dramatic soap opera already. But it's my life. I wish I could be the nerdy white boy. I wish I could live happily ever after, but I can't. 

It was the spring football game. Everyone in the school was there. It was the rival game and we were up by 7. Tyler went to catch the ball in the endzone and got ran over by this guy that looked 200 pounds. I nearly screamed like a little bitch when he didn't get up. After about 30 seconds, he did get up. He looked disoriented though. I felt like something was wrong so I started my decent down the bleachers. When I reached the bottom, I looked up and saw him walking over to me. But he was walking like he drank an entire bottle of gin. Then he fell. He fell and passed out. We called an ambulance and I went with his parents to the hospital. They wouldn't let me in the back because I wasn't a relative. I sat for what felt like hours before I heard anything. I sat and sat until his dad came out and told me that he was in surgery. Even I was thinking that my life was a spin off of Grey's Anatomy or something. I felt like vomiting so I rushed to the bathroom and released everything that was in my stomach. I came back and sat. His dad was talking but I couldn't hear him. I just zoned out. 

After waiting the entire night, Tyler's mom came out and told me that I could come back to see him. I walked back and entered the room quietly. Tyler looked dead, but I knew that wasn't​ true due to the constant beeping from the monitor that was next to his bed. His parents told me that the doctors didn't know when he would wake up. They said that it could be 3 days, weeks, months, years... or that he could never wake up. 3 days passed and I still had all the hope in the world. I knew that he loved me and he loved his parents and his football team and wouldn't throw all of that away. He'd fight for it all. 3 weeks passed and I still had hope. He was going to make it. I hadn't been to school, and the school had informed my foster parents, so they forced me to go. Going back to school without Tyler was weird. It seemed wrong. I had gone to school every day and the second the bell rang, I'd be back at the hospital. 

I am now at the 3 month mark. Senior year is about to start and I still have some hope. We were supposed to do it all. We were supposed to conquer the world together. And now I just feel alone again. Tyler, you are reason 1 because as long as you are alive, I'll be alive waiting for you.

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