“I still like you. I don’t want you gone.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I don’t want to see you hurt. I want to see you feeling great…”
“Life just constantly feels like shit.”


15. 6/21/16

His words are as impulsive as my thoughts.

I’ve licked a puddle of glue for a prank.

I’ve tasted lotion as a prank.

I’ve eaten mouthfuls of rainbow jimmies as a prank.

When he suggested climbing onto the roof of my house, I was down for it.

My parents and my sister are at a horse race in Forest Lake.

Sand falls off the feet of the ladder.

“How about you just call me back when you get to the roof?”

He’s laughing over the phone.

“No! This way if I fall you’ll know to call 911 as soon as it happens”

We don’t talk on the phone a lot, but when we do we’re always laughing.

Or sometimes crying.

But that’s what friends are for.


The sky is brilliant.

I wish he was here.

I’ve never been on the roof of my house before.

Like giant sand paper, the shingles dig into my skin.

I watch the sun set and the cars go past.
And I watch his eyes.

No matter how many years go by I will always remember his eyes.


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