Diana was a lonely girl when she was a little girl. when she was seven years old, she liked to spend her time with her friend's brother, Putera, since he was a baby.
They grow up together and be closed like best friends, brother and sister, and lovers. But because of the different background, they face difficulties to make their dreams come true.


5. Complicated

One month later, Diana held a party for her successful target. She made the party at a cafe. Her colleagues came. Sarah and her fiancé also came. Putera came alone. At the party, Diana introduced Putera as her brother. 

When she delivered her speech, she told about her dreams and who was her big motivator. At the end of her speech, she asked Putera to come to front. She told everyone that Putera was her big motivator. After getting standing applause, Diana kissed Putera’s lips. And it was a deep kiss. She tried to show everyone how special Putera for her. Since the party, Diana always went to party with Putera. She introduced him as her brother, but when there was a moment she kissed the young man in front of people. Putera never complained about it. So from the parties, Diana was not afraid to kiss and hug Putera in public.

One night, when they were sleeping at Putera’s room, Putera tried to discuss about what happened in the parties.

“So, you don’t like the way I kissed you?” asked Diana turned to Putera.

“Yes. It was in the public. And you made everyone confused. You told them I’m your brother but you kissed me,” explained Putera.

“So, you’re irritated with the kiss or the brother label?” asked Diana.

“Both,” said Putera.

“Explain,” said Diana, getting up.

“If you tell everyone I’m you brother, don’t kiss me,” said Putera.

“Okay, I’ll change it, I’ll tell that you’re my boyfriend, so I can kiss you,” said Diana.

“Don’t kiss me,” cut Putera.


“I just don’t like the way you kiss me in public,” said Putera.

“I see,” said Diana. “So the way I kiss you in public you don’t like it, do you?”

Putera nodded quickly.

“May I know why?”

“I am still a student. I don’t want to give an image that I’m in a very serious relationship.”

“I understand,” said Diana. “You’re right. You’re still student. Jesus, I’m sorry, I never think of it. Even I don’t know your age. How old are you now?”


“So, you’ve been 19. And I’m 26. Jesus. How come I forget about the age? Okay, fine. Don’t worry. I promise I won’t do it again. But, I still can hold and hug you, right? And give a slight kiss?”

“I think no.”

“But, it will be difficult for me, since it’s been a habit for me. I mean, when I see you, I want to hug and kiss you.”

“You may kiss and hug me only in the bedroom,” said Putera.

“Fine,” said Diana, lying again. She tried to sleep.

Since the conversation, Diana avoided Putera at all. She did not answer his call or message. She also did not come to Sarah’s house and she slept at another place where Putera did not know. At her office, she did not allow Putera to meet her. It was for a week, then one month.

“Why did you do this again?” asked Sarah when she met Diana at her office. She forced to enter her room.

“Did what?”


“I did not. I only avoid meeting Putera, but not you.”


“He needs to be alone.”

“Alone? What do you mean?”

“I made him no time for himself. He needs to hang out with his friends and meet a girl.”

“Why do you realise it now? Do you know what happen to his life for seven years?” said Sarah angrily. “He had hard time. He grew up with an empty soul. Why? Because you moved to America and never contacted him. And, when your parents went back, you were still there. You’re not only a sister, a lover or a parent for him, Diana. But you, you are...his soul mate. My Mom and me, we know his hard life but, we can’t help him. Why? You’re the one who filled his life. You are with him since he was a baby. He grew up and looked at you. He didn’t see his family, but you, bastard!” Sarah threw all things on Diana’s desk. The girl was silent. Speechless.

“So if you’ve decided to be back in his life, take the responsibility. Fill his empty soul. Be a part of his life again. You, you can leave him, only... when you die.”

Diana thought hard of Sarah’s words. She realised that she could not go like that from Putera’s life. Actually she really loved the young man, but she knew that she could not have him for herself. So Diana came back to Putera’s life, she went to Sarah’s house and slept at Putera’s room.

“I’m sorry, I’ve avoided you. But, I’ll be thankful if you don’t ask me why. Because, if you ask it, I’ll go again,” said Diana.

“Fine,” said Putera.

“How’s your life?”

“Fine,” said Putera.

“Don’t you feel weird, I’ve slept with you for years, but your parents never know that,” said Diana lying on Putera’s arm.

“If they know, you’re going to die,” said Putera, remembered about Diana’s words when he slept at her room for the first time. Diana laughed.

“When will you finish your study?”

“Couple of years.”

“When will you find a girl?”


“Will you marry the girl?”



“Cause I haven’t met her.”

“Will you marry before me?”

“Not. You’ll be first.”

“After getting married, we won’t sleep together.”

“So don’t get married.”

“But, it’s impossible, if both of us don’t get married. You’d get married.”

“Fine. I’d get married then you don’t. So, sometimes we can sleep together.”

“It’s a good idea. I’ll think of it,” said Diana, then she kissed Putera. After that they hugged each other and slept.

For months they were fine. Nobody knew what kind of their relationship, even Sarah. But she is the one who really understood about Diana and Putera. They loved each other. They also needed each other. But, no one of them was brave to improve the condition. They slept together, gave a hot kiss sometimes and hugged each other in their sleep, but not more than it. Both of them were really strong in restraining their desire. That was what Sarah really impressed.

But, soon their story was coming to the end. Putera met a girl. Actually his aunty introduced him to the girl. So he agreed to date the girl. And he also introduced the girl to Diana. Diana looked happy since there’s a way for her to stay away from Putera’s life. But, at the same time, she was sad. The girl was a Chinese one and it meant there was ninety percent opportunity of Putera to marry the girl.

“So what do you think of her?” asked Putera when they went home from dinner with the girl. Putera took Diana to her apartment but he did not plan to sleep there at the night.

“Beautiful. I like her. She reminds me about the Mandarin actresses. Ah – what is her name?”

“You don’t remember?”

“Sorry. You know I’m getting old,” said Diana casual.

“She’s Adele. And you’re only 26,” said Putera, stared at Diana suspiciously.

“Yup, I’ll remember her name, Adele. A – de – le. Okay, good luck for you. If you don’t mind, I want to sleep. Tomorrow’s going to be hard,” said Diana.

“Good night, Dai,” said Putera. He kissed Diana long and deep. Then he went.

Diana sat in mourn after Putera went. If he had found a girlfriend, why he still kissed me like that, thought Diana confusedly.

For a week, they did not sleep together. Putera was busy with the girl, and Diana did not try to interrupt their happiness. So she did all the things by herself. But, sometimes Sarah took her to clubbing. Diana never changed since she was a little girl. She was still quiet and did not have lots of friends. She was still afraid to meet people, except meeting people related to her job. 

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