I did it for you

I felt the sickening voice of God as he shoved me off of the clouds of heaven. I fell far and fast, screaming. My wings burning away. They couldn’t catch me. They fluttered lifelessly as I fell.

I felt warm tears streaming down my face like acid. I was getting kicked out of Heaven and becoming a fallen angel. I felt the burning sensation of guilt and hatred deep in my chest. Why?

I was a fallen Angel. I turned to look at my pure white wings, Only now I saw a few streaks of grey and smoke trailing from them. I was kicked out of my home, I couldn’t bare the pain,

I waited for the sickening smack of the hard earth ground... but it never came.

I slightly opened up my eye’s and saw green. Beautiful green grass and tall green trees.
I pulled myself up, groaning in slight pain as my useless wings sagged behind my body.

“Earth.” I whispered.


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4. Chapter 3

Jasmine’s POV:

 

“Come have a seat,” she nodded towards the bean bag chair and then sat down at her desk, opening the computer. I slowly walked over there and sat uncomfortably in the cow bean bag chair.

 

“Hello. My name is Dr. Martha Jones.” She reached out for a handshake but I just stared at her slender hand, not moving an inch. She awkwardly put her hand down and straightened herself up.

 

“So how are you?” she asked, her long and delicate fingers ready at the keys.

 

“Fine.” I mumbled. She studied me and sighed.

 

“Now, you are going to tell me the truth and then you are going to tell me how I can help you!” She snapped, startling me.

 

“Fine...” I whispered and  then I straightened up.

 

“I don’t belong here.” I said. She stared at me.

 

“Tell me why you don’t belong here.” she smirked.

 

I shut my mouth, I looked down at my arms and cradled them to my chest and my skinny abdomen.

 

“Let me see.” She said softly. I hesitated.

 

“It's fine. I won't hurt or judge you.” she looked me in the eye and a strong wave of calmness washed over me.

 

I slowly turned my arms and face them towards her and my skin pulled at the stitches, I bit my lip to silence the pain. she studied the cruel words carved into me and then her bright eyes traveled to the stitches woven into my arm.

 

When she leaned back and looked me in the eye, She wasn’t  in shock, sympathetic, or scared. She had a blank unreadable face. I tucked my thin exposed arm back to my chest.

 

“What kind of help do you need?” she asked after a few moments of silence.

 

“None, I’m fine!” I growled lowly. She gave me second and then I mumbled an apology for snapping out on her.

 

“How about you tell me or I make you stay here on the adults unit, or you can head upstairs to the teens and children and not be locked in a room for several hours of the day.” She smiled fakely.

 

“I need help to stop this.” I pointed to myself.

 

“To stop… yourself…Interesting.”  she typed rapidly on the keys, not looking up at me once, her eyes focused on the computer screen in front of her.

 

I took my finger nail and turned over my arm, running a finger over my stitches. It was a shooting pain. Good.  I suddenly realized she was staring at me.

 

“Why do you do it?... Jasmine?” she asked.

 

“I don’t know!” I mumbled and A tear threatened to reach out from behind my eye and scraped my cheek. “I just thought there was no other way out.”

 

“Out of what?” Dr. Jones asked even though I could tell she knew the answer already. She probably heard it from a million patients but she still asked.

 

“Out of my life.”

 

Dr. Jones sighed as if she was tired of hearing that sentence but she typed it down anyway. “Ms. Engel… Jasmine, dear.”

 

“ What…?”

 

“ There is no running from your life, and to be honest, you shouldn’t have lived. It was a supernatural miracle. You cut right on the vein... you should have died”

 

Those words rang in my ears. I could have died, the pain could have been over, I should have died.  No. Something inside of me was tingling.

 

“ If I was supposed to die, what saved me?” She looked up from her keyboard, And fingered a pen on her desk.

 

“ I wish I knew, but I’m thinking that it was your body telling you to keep fighting. She gave me a tight smile.

 

“ Whatever” I huffed and crossed my arms, but it stretched my skin against my stitches so I uncrossed them again.

 

“ When can I leave?” I asked grumpily.

 

“ When I feel you are ready” he said, I looked her in the eyes to see if she was joking, she wasn’t.

 

“ Come, we should get you upstairs to the teens and children’s section. I turned to look at her like she was dumb.

 

“ Umm.. no offense, but Hell no” I gave her a cocky grin.

 

“ Honey, I play this game at least three times a day, and a girl like you who can control your behaviors, should obviously listen to a doctor.” She sighed deeply.

 

“ My answer still stands” I growled. She reached for her phone. But hesitated.

 

“ Jasmine, I’m going to give you one more chance to come with me upstairs or the security will put you under and I will order you to restrictions when you get your happy butt up there sweetie, so make the right choice!” She  slammed her hands on her desk, probably trying to intimidate me.

 

“ You know what! Go to hell! You obviously don't care about how any of you patients feel and decide you can yell at them whenever you want” I snapped, my anger boiling, Oh god, I didn’t want to go there, Shit got real when I was mad.

 

Her face relaxed and she straightened her clothes.

 

“ One choice, Ms. Engel. One choice. She repeated.

 

“ Fine!”  I stood up and slammed the chair on the ground. I felt tears threaten to go free, but I swiped around my eyes, I feel trapped, I can’t ever feel it again.

 

“ Do you feel better?” She looked amused.

 

“ No!” I snarled and Set the chair back up,  my blue eyes wide and teary.

 

“ Let’s go” She smiled. Ugh. Her smile was so fake it made my want to throw up.

 

“  Okay”

 

She opened the door and  held it open for me. There were two security guards outside of the door.

 

“ You don’t trust me?” I raised an eyebrow at her.

 

“ Should I?” She smiled

 

“ Nope” I grinned and sauntered down the hallway after her.

 

“ At Least  you are honest, we don’t get that very often”

 

“ Well I’m not doing anyone any favors, sooooo…. don’t hold your breath.” I smiled sweetly and she frowned.

 

We paused at an elevator and a guard pressed the button to go up.

 

I glanced around, quickly looking for any sign of an escape. All I saw was walls. Blank, white, ugly walls. Ugh. The elevator dinged and I quickly stepped in,  Followed by everyone else.




 

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