Unspoken Love

Lex has been in love with her roommate Robinson since about the day she met him. Both are struggling to find a solid career after college and feel that they have only one another to rely on. Lex doesn't want to ruin this friendship by admitting her true feelings to Robinson, so she stays quiet, single, and hopelessly in love.
*Valentine's Day Competition*

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4. Four:

“Lex, please come home, or at least let me know if you’re safe.” I listen to the voicemail. It’s from Robinson – the seventh one that he’s left in three days. He’s called a lot more than that. “I’m worried. Ben hasn’t heard from you, and he said Shayla hasn’t either,”

That part isn’t exactly true. I had called Shayla, my former roommate, when I had taken my seat on the bus. “I’m leaving,” I’d told her. “I don’t know where I’m going, but I’ll let you know when I get somewhere a little less transitory.” I’d told her about what happened, and asked her not to tell anyone that she’d heard from me, especially Robinson.

When he had finally stopped banging on the door, I knew that he’d gone over to the couch, where he would eventually fall asleep. It felt like forever, waiting to see if he’d actually fallen asleep, but I managed to make the time pass. I packed up a duffel bag with some clothing, a small blanket, a few toiletries, and all of the cash that I’d been saving up over the last year. I’d thought about writing a note, saying something clever with a bit of a sting to it. But, then I thought that Robinson didn’t deserve a note. I still stand by that decision.

When I eventually opened up the door, holding my breath, Robinson was sleeping. Thank god, I’d thought. I had bent down beside the couch, right near Robinson’s face and looked at it. There were dried up tear tracks. He’d been crying. Part of me wished to stay, I remember. But, I’d pulled myself together and realized that whatever Robinson had to say would be irrelevant. He went back to Chelsea, and told her that I was basically pathetic, because he didn’t think that I’d find out about it. Whether he was lying to her for one minute, or me for months, it didn’t matter. Not anymore.

I reached my hand up to his face, and let it rest on his cheek for a moment. “Lex?” he’d said, still mostly unconscious.

“Shh,” I had whispered, tears in my eyes, “Go back to sleep.” And he’d smiled. Whether he smiled because he wasn’t fully awake, or because he had thought that everything would be okay, I couldn’t be sure.

“Lex, I miss you.” Normally this is where the voicemail would end, but this time, he goes on. “I love you, Lex. I always have.” My breath hitches, and I have half a mind to delete the message immediately, but I listen on. “Ever since I saw you on that day that Ben introduced us, I knew it was over for me.” I can hear the sadness in his voice, and I know he’s started crying. “I know that you didn’t feel the same way, so I thought that I could make myself not love you anymore. I thought that if I made you out to be someone different in my head, that I wouldn’t love you anymore. I hate myself for hurting you, Lex. God, I love you, don’t you know that?” The voicemail ends.

I take a few deep breaths, and force the tears back, willing myself not to cry. I love you, too, Robinson, I think. Sitting on the bus, hundreds of miles away from him, I realize that I must make a choice. Do I go back to Robinson, the boy I love who crushed my heart into tiny pieces, but wanted to pick them back up? Or do I live my life here?

I stand up when the bus stops, and walk the few short blocks to RKO. I walk to the desk where the receptionist is sat. “How can I help you?” she asks.

I smile at her. It’s time for me to love myself. “Hi, I’m Alexis Reed. I have an interview to be Mr. Myers Director’s Assistant.”

She smiles back at me, standing up. “Right this way, Miss. Reed.” 

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