Dreams of Love....

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  • Published: 14 Feb 2017
  • Updated: 14 Feb 2017
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Dreams of love is neither a love story nor a love saga, it's just a take on feeling of love..... Feelings are the primary thing in love.... And this story is a take on those feelings.....

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1. Dreams.....Love.......Distance.......Desire.........

I was standing on Airport Terminal 3 New Delhi. The flight was to London exactly after 3 hours from then at 5 PM. I was waiting, waiting for her to come. I knew that Anya will never come on time but it was strange that she was late that day too. It was her dream from the time she was 13 yrs. old that she will do her graduation in fashion designing from London School of Fashion and today was the day when she was going to take her first step to fulfill her dream. Well yes I was not going with her to London and had arrived in airport to see off her. I didn’t know that when will I see her in upcoming future. I took out my phone and tried calling her but as it was her habit she was not picking up the phone. I was sure that this stupid girl has again kept her phone on silent mode and had forgotten. I decided to go to the coffee shop which was just in front of the gate of the airport and wait there while having a cup of coffee. When I entered the café I ordered a cappuccino and took a seat. I took out my diary which I was going to give her today as a surprise from my side to her. In front of me there was an old couple sitting. The whole time while I was sitting I observed that the couple was holding their hand continuously. They didn’t leave each other’s hand even for a second. I went out of the café and went to a pillar and stood up taking its support. It was 15 minutes to 3 PM and I was getting very desperate to meet her and also tensed as she needed to check-in by 3 otherwise she will not be able to catch her flight. I again and again called her. She was not picking it up. I went to the guard there and again confirmed that she need to be here before 3. Suddenly someone patted on my left shoulder. When I turned back it was Anya. She hugged then said,” Ishant I am really sorry. I am sorry for the past two years. I know you really had some different expectations from our relationship but it got spoiled because of me. I know it is going to get worse now. “I kept my finger on her mouth and then kept my other hand on her lips removing the finger and then I kissed on my hand which was on her lips. Then without removing my hand from her mouth, I said, “Anya you know right that neither you nor me is allowed to say these two words.” I removed my hand from her lips. She gave a slight smile to me which spoke a lot to me expressing each and every thing which she wanted to say but was not able to.

As she was already too late to catch her flight and a little more delay would have costed her in losing her flight, I asked her to enter the airport now. She was looking low and a little sad. I grabbed her right hand palm and kissed it and then kept it on my chest. Then I said it to her,” Anya why are you getting upset? It’s a matter of just three more years and you will even not get to know when these three years will pass by. So now go and pursue your dream Anya. London is calling you. Even they should know how talented India is.”

I hugged Anya. She bursted into tears. I patted on her back. I was feeling like if she will stay here for even a minute more, I will not be able to control myself and my emotions.

I grabbed her hand and took her to gate number four from where she needed to enter. She was not ready to leave my hand. I somehow managed to explain her that it’s not the time to be emotionally weak. I opened my bag and took out a 100 pack packet of Diary Milk Silk, the chocolate which was her favorite. I kept it on her hands and took out my diary and opened the chain of her handbag and kept it inside it. I said,” This diary consists of everything which happened in last two years. Everything which I experienced and believe you must have experienced. Keep it with you, it will pass your good time while you will be in London pursuing your dream.” Anya passed a very slight smile which is like of the same manner when we see sunrays coming out from the behind of dark clouds. She kissed on my cheeks and turned back and gave her tickets to the policeman standing there. He did all his formalities and allowed her to go in. She turned towards me and said,” I love you Ishant and will really really miss you a lot. Do take care of yourself and never breakdown.” She slowly slowly started to walk in. When she stepped inside the airport and the electric doors got closed, she stopped and turned back. I saw her doing this from the side glass as I went away from the door because I knew it will be impossible for me to give her the last goodbye smilingly. I was sure I would have broken down because I noticed that when she didn’t saw me standing outside, her eyes got filled with tears. It was really impossible for me to look her that way.

I started to walk off from there. Suddenly my phone rang and it was Anya. I picked it up. She said, “Ishant clear away your eyes from those tears which you were trying to hide off by hiding behind a transparent glass window. I know you very well. You can hide your happiness from me but not your emotional and sensitive side you dumb head. Now please no one will cry. We both will meet soon. Take care of yourself till then and don’t take tension we both will be in regular contact with each other.”

I replied to her, “Anya you take care of yourself and if you will be okay then you know that I will automatically be fine. You completely now focus on just one thing and that is your career. I promise that yes we will meet soon and till then you will also control your emotions and will not cry. I love you too. Take care and now go for check-in and do your security check. Bye.” And I hung up the phone.

I started to walk off. Each step which I was taking towards the cab stand it was getting more and more tough. I was feeling like someone has tied some 100kg weights to my legs. Each step which I was taking, I was more and more questioning myself with questions like how will she survive in new country alone, how will she manage everything herself and most importantly how will I make her happy with such a huge distance. Earlier it was matter of a few hundred kilometers but now it was matter of two different countries. What will I do if she run into any type of problem there, or if her health gets weak. These questions were killing and shaking me from top to bottom. I knew Anya very well that she will keep everything inside her but will not take it out just because she would never want to bring trouble to anyone because of her troubles. Her this attitude was one of the thing which attracted me a lot to her but I also equally disliked it because I didn’t want her to face any problem alone. She wanted to be independent which was really a very big positive in her but how should my heart and mind allow me to leave her in any difficult situation alone. This time I was really helpless. While I was lost in all these thoughts I reached cab stand. When I reached there, I hired a cab to sector-51 greater Noida as I needed to go to my office, The First Scene Production. It was around 35-40 km from there so I was sure that I will reach there in 1 hr as it was 3:30 PM so it was not a peak traffic time. On my way to office even without my wish and choice, I was feeling very restless. I was constantly thinking about Anya. Suddenly I received a call from my friend and officemate Akshay. Akshay told me that today early morning there was a meeting with boss and he has asked me and Akshay to go to Mumbai by tomorrow as Karan Production are going on floor for the shoot of a movie and they are looking for two creative directors and sir has given our names as recommendation.

I was totally shocked that how it can happen. Karan Productions is one of the most popular production house of our country and everyone wanted to work with them in their career. So soon in my career I was getting this chance, it was totally a dream come true. I mean completing my graduation this year, three months of job in The First Scene Production, Delhi and now going to work with Karan Production.

I asked Akshay again that whether he is joking or he is serious. He told me that our flight is today night at 9 from terminal 3 as we need to report in Mumbai office tomorrow by 10 in the morning. I asked him whether do I need to come to the office right now or directly meet you at the airport in the evening so he asked to come to the airport directly. I was totally in a state of shock and numb. I was never expecting such a big break so early in my career.

I immediately asked the cab driver to change the route and take me to Vaishali metro station as my house was near it. It took me 30 mins to reach there and the time was 4:15 PM. When I reached the home, I called Anya to give her the good news and also to enquire what’s the status. I called her four times but she was not picking up the call. It was making me feel a little tensed. I thought maybe she is busy in security check-in or boarding the flight that’s why she is not able to pick up the call. I started to do my bit of packing. As I got to know all this in such a short notice, I was packing everything in a hurry. Flying and jumping from once place to another for finding out my things. I needed to leave from my place by 6 because as evening time is the peak time for traffic, even a minute late would turn into me missing out my flight. I called Akshay back and told him that he should do web check-in because even if we arrive late, our time for check-in will be saved. I again started my packing. After 15-20 minutes of hard work for looking for my accessories and to be packed things, I was tired and was feeling very very thirsty. I went to the kitchen and from the refrigerator took out the cold water and drank it. When I was closing the refrigerator door, I noticed a message sticker in Anya’s handwriting with a message “Open the first drawer of your computer table, something is waiting for u”. Anya was at my place two days back and after that day I was at my friend’s place due to some office work. So I was sure she must have kept something that day only.  I ran to my bedroom where the computer table was kept. I was about to open the drawer when suddenly my doorbell rang. I was like who the hell has got such a wrong timing to come at someone’s place. I opened the door and it was the vegetable vendor. I thanked him for his great gesture of coming to my place and reducing my work of going to the shop but didn’t bought anything as I was leaving today and vegetable’s will get rotten. As went, I quickly locked the door and ran to my bedroom again. I opened the first drawer and there was a letter kept tied by a red color ribbon. I don’t know why but when I held the letter in my hand my eyes got wet. I was missing my Anya a lot. Before opening the letter, I again called Anya to know about her status. Atlast she picked it up.

 

Anya: Ha Ishant bolo kya hua. Itne saare calls. Are you ok?

 

Ishant: What Anya? I mean pehle to call pick mat karo and then upar se kya hua pucho. I was getting tensed yar that whether you are able to manage by your own or not.

 

Anya: Mr. Ishant it’s not my first flight trip. (LAUGHS) Don’t worry. Are basically I was boarding the flight na that’s why I was unable to pick your call.

 

Ishant: Baby, I have already started to miss you a lot.

 

Anya: Oh Ishant please don’t be upset. I am also missing you a lot. It’s matter of not a very long time. We both are together and it will help both of us to at least try to be happy in life after all we will meet after few years right.

 

Ishant: Right Anya. By the way I just read your message for me on refrigerator and was about to read your letter which you had kept in my computer drawer.

Anya: Oh you got it. Read it after the call ok and please don’t get emotional. By the way I was about to start reading your diary too. It’s a 9 hr. long flight yaar. Thanks for the diary I guess it will help me to pass at least few hours from these many boring long hours.

 

Ishant: Oh ok. By the way do remember everything written in the diary is a work of fiction.(LAUGHS)

 

Anya: Yeah yeah I know that Ishant ji. Chalo Ishant flight is about to take off. I need to turn off my phone. Love you a lot Ishant and will always be yours, always.

 

Ishant: Oh ok Anya. Take care of yourself. Love you a lot dear. Do text me once you reach there. By the way Anya I am going to Mumbai today as I have got a chance to be a creative director in the upcoming project of Karan’s Production.

 

Anya: Oh really!!!! It’s great Ishant. I am really really proud of you. My best wishes are always with you. Take care of yourself. Have a safe journey and do keep me updated with every news. Chalo bye take care.

 

Ishant: Thanks Anya. Love you too. Bye. And you too have a safe and happy journey. Bye.

 

(Call ended)

 

My eyes were still wet. I wanted to hug Anya right now. Her face was coming in front of my eyes. I was missing her a lot. I opened the red ribbon of the letter. I was about to read the letter but then I got a thought to read it over a coffee. I went to the kitchen and made a coffee for myself. Now with the coffee, letter and a seat in the balcony I was ready to read that letter. I opened it. In the letter it was written:

 

Dear Ishant,

I know you very well. You are upset and sad due to me going to London. I know dear that in the last few years also we didn’t meet each very much due to me studying in a hostel. You know Ishant, I know you will be sad, upset and angry too on me but you will not show anything on me. I am really lucky Ishant that you are someone who understands me every time. The times were hard and will be harder but your love for me is something which helps me to move ahead and do what I love. Ishant I still remember our last call talk before me going to hostel. You cried on the call which was something which was obvious because I knew you didn’t want me to go to hostel but hahahah at the end you said if I (Anya) will cry you will come there and will slap me. I know you can see everything but no tears or sadness on my face. Baby when our relationship started I never thought that I would be serious for you because you know the reason but what you made me feel in the first month, I realized that I cannot get someone better than you and if I will not get serious for you then I will be cheating myself. You really changed my mentality on many things especially on love. You were not perfect by your own but really made me feel that I am perfect.

Well Ishant two years of my boarding were something which made me even much much close to you. You may be thinking that how but if someone thinks about someone for every other second then for sure they get more close to each other. It doesn’t mean that I was upset all this time but I was feeling a different type of pleasure. All the belonging which were given to me by you were making me feel so special and also were not completely but truly was completing a bit of your missing. Really Ishant you know what every day in college I used to look at the picture you had given to me of us and it made me cry. The memories were so so beautiful that my eyes were not able to control their emotion. The teddy bear which you had given to me on my birthday really listened to me every day and I used to talk to him daily as thinking that the teddy is not teddy but you.

Stop smiling and saying me paglu because I know that’s the only thing which is going on in your mind right now while reading this letter.

 

Tumse Judaa ho na paayenge,

Tumse judi baato ko bhul na paayenge,

Kitna Tumse pyaar hai ye jata na payenge,

Par har pal yaad tumhe he karte jayenge….

 

I will kill you if you got emotional after reading these lines. Don’t worry I didn’t write these for you. Do remember this letter is a work of fiction and any resemblance to living or dead is purely coincidental.

You should agree that I have a great sense of humor. Well Ishant now I will be with you almost after 3-5 years but I know you will be normal and not at all upset because you had promised me that if I(Ishant) will get sad then I will not say anything to you. Ishant I know you will never break your promise after all our bond stands so strong on this trust of promises and love right.

Well roz bolte the na ki kuch to bol kuch to bol to lo aaj bol diya. Hahaha bolna kya likh diya itna saara. Ab shikayat mat karna mujhse kabhi.

Will miss you a lot Ishant. It’s my time to rest my pen and allow you to feel whatever I wrote in it and I hope it will make you love me even more. And yes before I forget, Mr. Ishant there is something for you kept in the pocket of your blue shirt. Do check it out and dare you say that it is not good.

Love will never ever end between us.

 

Your and only yours

Anya…. (Muuaaaahh my baby)

 

I was shocked. I never thought Anya would do something like this. I ran to my cupboard and opened it and took out the blue shirt. When I put my hand inside the pocket there was something there. I took it out and it was a ring box. I opened it and there was one beautiful ring which after looking was giving me a feeling that it was a couple ring and it’s other half was missing. I again put my hand in the pocket of the shirt because I felt that I missed something. At the bottom, there was a small paper chit. I opened it. In it, it was written “Check your living room’s center table right side drawer.”

I was getting a feeling like I am Sherlock Holmes and I am solving out a mystery. After reaching there and after checking the right drawer I found an another letter.

I immediately opened it. It was not a that long letter. It read:

 

Mr. Ishant,

Well I guess you found that ring right. Well it’s other half is with me. It will keep us together forever. Heheheh if you want you can say it as our short type of engagement. I am joking by the way. Acha take care of yourself.

 

Tumhe apni saanso me basaa le jaari hu,

Tumhe tumse he door karne jaa rhi hu…

Zindagi se rishta kuch aisa karne ja rhi hu,

Har pal me tumhare saath hu,

Ye sapna lekar udte jaa rhi hu…..

 

 

Will always miss you Ishant. Keep in touch my sweetheart.

 

Your heart is mine,

Anya.

 

This filled my eyes with tear. I was feeling like my Anya has gone very distant from me. I was feeling that pain now. I was feeling that why the hell I didn’t stopped her. She didn’t want to go but I was behind her, forcing her to go and achieve her dreams. Then I realized that it is good that she has gone because it will make her future much more beautiful. She will stay with me forever and that’s not a problem but if she would have not gone and that too due to me and staying with me then that guilt would have really not allowed me to live peacefully.

I went to the washroom and washed my face with cold water. I was standing at the same place where two days’ back Anya was shaving my beard by her hands. It was so romantic. My eyes were again filled with tear. It was really an emotion which was uncontrollable. I again washed my face and then tried to divert my mind and again started to do my left away packing. My eyes went to the clock and the time was 5:40. Only 20 mins were left to move from home otherwise I would definitely miss the flight. I fastened myself and like a flash was completing my packing. I was done when five minutes were left for 6. I ordered a OLA cab and went downstairs with all my luggage. OLA was already standing there. I kept my all the luggage on the cab and when I was about to sit in the car I remembered that I was forgetting something. I asked the driver to wait for 2 mins. I ran to my home and straight away went to my bed room. I was forgetting that beautiful ring which my baby had gifted me. I put it on my finger and ran back to the cab. We moved from my place to reach the airport.

We reached the airport by 7:30. Akshay was already waiting there for me. I gave him a hug. I paid the taxi and we both entered the airport and completed all the formalities of security check-in and all and then were sitting near our boarding gate by 8. It was still 35 mins for the start of our flight boarding. I and Akshay were having some random talks as we both were totally shocked that how we got this opportunity in our life so early in our career. We both were really happy. I said Akshay, “Brother if Anya would have been here than I am sure she would have been so so happy na that she would have been sitting next to us right now and would have been boarding the flight too with us.”

Akshay was the guy who knew everything about me. He was like a friend with whom I had shared everything and who had stood by me from the very first day of our meeting. Akshay held my hand and said, “Brother I know it’s really tough for you to live without her. It’s not a matter of lifetime dude. Just few years and I know they will pass out in a flash. You just keep calm and focus on this upcoming project at this point of time. By the way what you gave to Anya as a token of memory?”

I looked towards him. I told him that I have given her the diary which I wrote for the last two years. I had named that diary ‘Dreams of Love….’ He gave me an absurd look and said that what is so special in that diary which will make her miss you after once she reads it. He was like how much special a diary can be even if it’s ok Lord Elizabeth.

I knew he was right at his part because if we talk to any common person and take his point of view on a diary then nobody is going to say that it is an exciting gift but my diary was not just an another diary. It was my collection of journey, a journey of dreams. Not a simple journey but a journey of dreams with my love.  When you are away from your love for like almost two long years and you know that you are going to meet very very rarely after a time period of 4-5 months then you start to fantasize your life. That fantasizing of life is important because it helps in increasing the love between two souls who are connected to each other but physically are apart due to one or another reason.

Dreams of love, my diary, is my story of love with Anya. I hugged Akshay and told him that it is not just an another diary but it is my life of last two years which I lived with Anya. He was looking really confused and amazed.

Suddenly there was an announcement that the boarding of flight to Mumbai has started. We joined the queue and after 10 minutes were sitting inside the plane. Akshay was still looking to me like I had said some criminally offensive statement. He was looking really excited to know the content of the diary. For me each page of that diary was a complete story in itself. I smiled at Akshay and told him that he should stay calm and relax, I will tell him the whole story of the Dreams of love.

I called one of the airhostess and asked for a glass of water. I had window seat in the flight. After few minutes the she came back with a glass of water and I drank it. I fastened my belt and was ready. I took out my mobile phone, plugged in my earphone into it and was selecting a song to play when suddenly Akshay patted on my shoulder and asked when I am going to narrate him what is Dream of Love. I passed a slight smile to him and then told that Dreams of Love is a story and for its narration I need to set my mood. Let me listen to few romantic tracks and then I will narrate you the whole Dreams of Love. He was like what’s so special in that diary that without a proper mood of narration you can’t narrate it to me. I told him it’s neither just a diary nor a simple story but it’s my life with Anya without her. It’s a feeling and feelings can’t be explained without a proper mood. He gave me a strange look but then smiled and said ok take your time I don’t have any hurry.

Flight took off and I was listening to “Kaise Mujhe tum milgyi” from Ghajini movie. That song really used to give me goosebumps. I really felt that the song had a deep connection to my life. While the song was on, I realized my eyes were again filled with tear drops because I was again missing Anya a lot. I turned off the songs and took out my ear phones. I patted on Akshay’s thigh and said now is the time to tell you what does that diary means to me. He was like are you really ok and in the mood to tell me about the diary so I told him not to interfere in between when I will be narrating him the whole story of Dreams of love, my diary. He said okay. I tried removing tears from my eyes with handkerchief and then I started my story.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

It was 29th of December 2018 when I met Anya for the first time and it was 29th of May 2019 when I got her last text before she was leaving for her hostel. Her school hostel life had to start from 01 June 2019 so she was travelling to New Delhi the next day and was about to keep her mobile phone switched off and away from everyone’s eye and take it with her to the hostel so she can be in regular contact with me. I knew she was wrong because if she would be caught then she would have to face a severe punishment but I was unable to stop her from doing this because I myself wanted her to be in regular contact with me. Sometimes your heart turns your decision making power into zero and all the emotional quotation takes over. Due to my college life I was not in a regular meeting touch with her for all this time but when we had our last call on 29th of May 2019 I was totally broken because I wanted to meet her at that time. She was going away from me for two complete years and I was sitting so far away from her and was helpless. On that day first time she was not broken and was stiff but I was unable to control my emotions in front of her and I started crying in the phone call itself. I was someone who always loved to hide his emotions because it will portray me as a weak person in front of others but that day I realized that portraying your feelings to the right person at right time is important and also connects you more to the person. I realized that being someone who don’t cry don’t make you man or someone who is strong eventually the truth is that it means you are weak enough and also immature enough who don’t know that how beautiful it is to tell someone whom you love that how you feel. Emotions do play a very important role in everyone’s life and without proper emotions there is always something missing in your life.

I cried that day. I knew Anya was controlling herself and a lot and didn’t wanted to break herself. Constantly she was just saying that Ishant it’s a matter of just two years but I knew it was not. I knew her dream from the very next day of our first meeting that she wants to do graduation from London in fashion designing. Anya is someone if she is close to you then she will give 100% of herself for maintaining that relationship. She would always forget what was her dreams and wishes in life and will focus on what her partner wants in his life from her. She is like an angel who just comes to complete everyone’s wish and spread happiness around.

She told me that Ishant you don’t worry we will meet soon and we will be together forever very soon. I knew she was thinking that she will not go to London and do her graduations from somewhere in India that will make her be with me but I knew I can never be so selfish that I would stop her from pursuing her dreams. That day those tears were combination of many mixed emotions and feelings. I was unable to express that to her. I was just saying again and again to her that thank you for coming into my life. I wanted to be there right then. I wanted to hug her and wanted that moment to just stop. I wanted to express her that how much I love her. I wanted her to stay by my side but I knew it was something which was not possible. After sometime I controlled myself and told her that I am totally fine Anya. I know Anya it will be tough for both of us as we both can’t stay away from each other but it is important for her better future which is much much more important than any other thing in life. She asked me whether I am really normal then I replied to her that yes I am normal. I will not allow my emotions to bring your emotional level down anymore and make you weak. She was really worried about me but I gave her confidence that I am okay and she don’t need to take tension. I told her that how much she means to me in my life and how much it affects me when I see her upset and sad. I told her that she really doesn’t need to worry anymore. The phone call hung up on the note that we both said to each other that we love each other and will stay together forever irrespective of the situations.
From the next day I was not in contact with her for a long time of almost five months. I was totally out of clue that what is going on in her life, what happened to the mobile which she took with her to the hostel. For those five months I was really restless and desperate too to know the answers of all my questions.

In these months the story of Dream of Love started. One day which was a week later when Anya went to the hostel, I went to a stationary shop to buy some pens. Suddenly I got an idea to write a diary. A diary of dreams. A diary which will be telling me what Anya will be doing and all her emotions. I immediately asked the shopkeeper to give me a diary. I bought it and came running to my flat. During those days I was working on my story titled “A Night of Distance” which was a mystery drama. I don’t know till date where that story was when I stopped writing it further because I started to write Dreams of love my diary. I started writing it from back date. I wrote first entry for 01 June 2019, which was Anya’s first day in the hostel life. I after thinking for 30-40 minutes got to know what must have happened on that day.

It must be like Anya woke up late for the school as she must have slept late in night as she must be crying the whole night missing her family and me too. She must have written some text on her diary related to what she must be feeling after going so far from her parents and staying in hostel. If I would have been in her place, then I must have written something like this and given it to my father a long time back before going to hostel because fathers can never see tears in the eyes of their daughter:

 

Aaj meri aankho me kuch aansu aaye,

Wajah ke the ya bewajah ke ye na btaye,

Aapse door jaane ka darr to h papa,

Aapse gale lag kar rona hai papa….

 

Zindagi bhar mujhe rani ki tarah rakha,

Ek pal me alag krdoge kya papa,

Ye saanse chadh jaati hai aapse doori sochke,

Shaadi ke baad to nhi paoge na mujhe papa…

 

Ek baar mujhe apne pass rkhlo papa,

Kuch saal apne chaav me rakhlo papa,

Kitna pyaar krti hu aapko jata dungi papa,

Kitna darr jaati hu aapke bina ye bta dungi papa…

 

Har pal ye darr khata hai,

Zindagi kal kya layegi ye darr satata hai,

Aapke saath karti hu mai surakshit mehsoos,

Aapse door jaane ki soch se he ye dil ghabrata hai…

 

Hostel mere liye sahi hai ya galat,

Ye mujhe janna nhi,

Agle kuch saal apke bina jeena hai,

Ye mujhe manna nhi….

 

Ek baar khud ke gale lagalo,

Ye aansuo ko na rok paungi,

Aapse kitna karti hu pyaar papa,

Ye ab na chupa paungi….

 

Behetar bhavishya chahte ho aap mera,

Aapse door jaake wo na hopayega,

Padh likh ke to hojaungi hoshiyaar,

Aapse door hoke ander se khokli hojaungi papa…

 

Ek pal me door hojayenge hum,

Aaj ki baate yaad aayengi kal,

Mujhse karte ho kitna zyada pyaar aaj btado,

Ek baar gale lagake saara jatado,

Roklo mujhe khudse door jaane se,

Ek baar apne pass bitha ke bta do……

 

I felt that she must have written this in her diary as she was really very good in writing poems and contents. Then after waking up the next morning and seeing her roommates already ready for the school should have come like a shock to her and as her habit she must have fallen from the bed. It was Anya’s habit that whenever she would be too happy or too shocked she was never able to control her emotions and would surely fall from bed.

Then she must be laughing at herself and then her eyes would have got a little wet by remembering that whenever she used to fall while she was in home, her mother used to be there and scold and take care of her. And whenever she used to tell me on call that she has again fallen from bed I used to laugh a lot and also told her every time to take care of herself otherwise someday she will really hurt herself a lot.

After that she must have ran to the washroom and came back running like a flash and she would be ready to go the school. She must have opened her suitcase twice to select which perfume she should spray on herself and at the end she must have gone without spraying anything. While standing in the line during the school assembly she must be feeling sleepy and must be yawning again and again while opening a big mouth as of a hippopotamus. When she reached the class she must have chosen the last seat in the whole room. After sitting on her seat and that too alone the first thing she must have done is keeping her hand on the table and getting upset and also she must be sleeping very sleepy.

Well you should know, Anya is someone who has a specific mindset when she will approach to make new friends. Basically she will not approach, some girl specific egoistic issues, never mind so when it comes on her she decides that who will be her friend on the basis who is taking the initiative to talk first and also in which way. For example, when we met for the first time, she didn’t approach to talk to me for the first whole hour even after wanting to come because she felt that I was not interested in talking to her but she never noticed my 100’s of tries to talk to her. At the end when we had just a little vocal words and a few sarcastic comments on each other while leaving the event I gave her a hug which must have made her feel that I am interested in talking to her. In this way I got to know a little about her that how someone needs to approach to her if they want to be friends of her.

So I am sure that also after spending half day and till recess she must have not reached to even a single girl to talk by herself. I wish someone must have reached to her. By the end of the day she must have kept at least one nickname for each and every teacher. When she must have gone to take the lunch in the hostel mess I am sure her eyes would have tears filled into it. In lunch most probably there will be few chapattis, a vegetable dry and one gravy, rice and a pulse. As soon as she must have seen pulse she must have remembered me. My forcing her to have a bowl of pulse everyday was something which she really hated to do but always did too because she never said no to me for even a small thing. Yes, she was young and of the age where we don’t take care of ourselves and do have a let it go mentality. In Anya’s case it was my caring nature which was guilty. Even if she faced a small problem of a penny size then also I had a habit to take tension that too of Mt. Everest size. Well it was not just me, it was vice versa. Even she couldn’t see me in any type of trouble.

I know while having that meal she must have been crying but hiding her tears too from her co-school mates.

After that when the school must have ended, she after reaching to the hostel room would have hugged the teddy tightly which I had gifted her and would have cried a lot until the time her roommates have entered the room. Then she must have slept for few hours. Till the point I know, in evening around 5 there use to be tuition class for hostellers. So when she must have gone for them she would have again been sad as she would have started missing her best friend Simran with whom she used to go to tuitions when she was back at her home. Simran was like her soulmate when it comes to friend. Anything if is not shared between both of them, they both will be sad till the time it is shared.

Anya till the end of tuition time must have been alright and then went for a walk inside the campus as who will allow her to go outside. Again and again whenever she must be in front of the main gate of the school, she must have abused the school and also would be wishing that someone comes breaking the gate and take her away from here.

After the walk when it will be around 7 she must have returned to her room. Now I she must have took the teddy in her hand and continuously talked to it for 2 hrs. at least because daily we used to talk to each other on call at that time. She would have tried her best to control her feelings and again-again hugged the teddy. When the time to do dinner would have arrived, she must have said to her God that I just hope mummy, papa, bhai and Ishant have had their dinner done by now. It was her habit that she will do dinner at the end after everyone else had done. After consuming her dinner and while lying on bed and lights switched off of the room, she must be thinking what everyone outside will be doing. She must be sad and upset and wants to hug someone and very tightly. She must have opened her bag again and took out a picture of mine and then slept while hugging it.

It would have been her habit for at least a week I guess because after that she must have got some new friends. Some of the new friends will be a reflection of old ones too. She must have told them her whole life by now.

After that daily I used to write a fantasized dream. A dream in which I and Anya would be there. Some of the dreams were really close to my heart. Dream is something which are close to each one of us and in those dreams we see a ray of hope when we ourselves far away from each other due to a stupid factor distance. In those dreams we try to meet and spend some time together.

 

The first dream which I wrote down in the Dreams of Love was……

 

Anya was sitting on a beach side. I went to her and closed her eyes from behind. She smiled and said, “Ishant I love you”. I removed my hands from her eyes and sat in front of her. I held her hands and kissed on them. Then I lifted her in my arms and made her sit inside the car which was nothing less than a Rolls Royce. We both were going a long drive. I gave her a red rose. While I was driving the car suddenly she lied down on the seat and kept her head on my lap. I started playing with her hairs. I took my head down and she closed her eyes and then I kissed her. She stood up and then sat the whole drive while hugging me.

 

It was the first dream which I fantasized with her once she left for college. After that Dreams of Love diary was filled with many such entries. Dreams really made me feel alive. Sometimes I used to write dreams from Anya’s point of view and I don’t why they always were better than my very own point of view. I feel my mind knew that she is much better than me when it comes to imagining things.

I used to miss her a lot in all these times. I used to take help of many things to come out of this zone of sadness because there was no point in getting sad as she had no other option then going to hostel. I had a full playlist of romantic songs which sometimes made me really feel good and sometimes made me miss her damn badly.

After that I know how the time period of those five months passed by. I felt like a single day was so big that it included the duration of 20-25 days and once the calendar date turned to 01 December 2019 my desperation limit to meet her was getting very high. I wanted each day to pass by like a flash. My college 3rd semester was ending on 10th December and I was returning to my home on 11th for a month long vacation. I had no idea whether when are her holidays and whether when she will be coming back to her home. I wanted to meet her desperately. I wanted to know how she is, how is everything going there, I wanted to know everything about her.

On 11th when I landed in Chandigarh I was desperate but had to control my feelings. I met my friends Vineet. He was my lifeline. Whenever I needed him he was there standing by my side. He was like a guy who will be ready to take even a bullet for me and will smile still.

I was meeting my every friend of Chandigarh and trying to enjoy and gaining some knowledge about Anya but no one was able to give any information related to her. Days were passing by and I was scared what will happen if my holidays end and I am unable to meet her. On 22nd it was my birthday. I was hoping that Anya will be first one to wish me but it was not so. On 22nd around 12 in the noon, Vineet came to my place and asked me to come with him. He took me to a drive to Morni Hills. In the whole drive I was upset. I was missing Anya. Vineet noticed it. He said to me that I should not be upset because even Anya will not like it if she will come to know that you were sad and upset on your birthday and that too because of her. I told him that I am really missing her. He hugged me and said don’t worry brother you will meet her soon. I was really feeling like crying at that time because now this control of emotion was not working out. I wanted to meet Anya. I wanted to hug her and stay in her arms for forever. I wanted to tell her how much I am missing her. I wanted to tell her how much I love her.

It was 5 in the evening when we were returning back from Morni Hills. I was still feeling very low. I asked Vineet to take me back to home as I wanted to stay alone for some time. He said that he will drop me but after half an hour as he had some urgent work in the Blue Pacific Lounge. He parked his car outside it and then asked me to accompany him there. I declined his invitation but he took me forcefully there. When we both entered the lounge,It was totally dark inside and silent too. Suddenly I heard a female voice singing the song…..

 

 

Tu aata hai seene mein
Jab jab saansein bharti hoon
Tere dil ki galiyon se
Main har roz guzarti hoon

Hawa ke jaise chalta hai tu
Main ret jaisi udti hoon
Kaun tujhe yoon pyar karega
Jaise main karti hoon

Haa.. Aa..

Meri nazar ka safar
Tujhpe hi aake ruke
Kehne ko baaki hai kya
Kehna tha jo keh chhuke

Meri nigahein hain teri nigahon ki
Tujhe khabar kya bekabar

Main tujhse hi chup chup kar
Teri aankhein padhti hoon

Kaun Tujhe yun pyar karega
Jaise main karti hoon

Haa.. Aa..

Tu jo mujhe aa mila
Sapne hue sarphire
www.lyricsted.com
Haathon mein aate nahi
Udte hain lamhein mere

Meri hasi tujhse
Meri khushi tujhse
Tujhe khabar kya beqadar

Jis din tujhko na dekhun
Pagal pagal phirti hoon
Kaun tujhe yoon pyaar karega
Jaise main karti hoon

Haa.. Aa……

 

As soon as the song ended I shouted, “I know Anya it’s you. I can never forget your voice Anya. Please come in front now please.”

Lights turned on and there she was. Anya was standing in front of me. As soon as the lights turned on, she came running towards me and hugged me. It was really a very very tight hug. We both were crying. It was like a meeting after a huge time gap. Those tears were the proof of how much we were missing each other. No one from both of us was ready to end that hug. We just wanted to stay like that forever. Those tears were endless. They were speaking a lot as our mouths were shut but the eyes were doing the talking with each other. After sometime I started wiping her tears away. Those eyes were not at all in the mood to stop that day. I grabbed her hand and kissed on it. We both went and sat on one of the tables. All my friends were standing there and watching both of us. I thanked all of them for such a beautiful surprise. Vineet told me, “Ishant this all was Anya’s plan. She arrived in Chandigarh yesterday and at 11 in the night she called me up asking for your information. She wanted to give you a surprise. She asked me to book this lounge and call all your friends here. She only asked me to take you to Morni Hills as she was pretty much sure that you would be sad and upset as she had not wished you. Even she was dying to meet you.”
I looked towards Anya and her eyes were again teary and face was blushing. I held her hands from one of my hand and wiped the tears away from the other. Vineet came with cake and I along with Anya cut it. After one hour all my other friends left the place wishing me for the birthday and I along with Anya and Vineet were left. Vineet left both of us there and left promising he will return after an hour to pick me up but I thanked him up and told him I will meet him by myself maybe today night or tomorrow for sure. Today Anya will drop me back home. He gave a slight smile and left the place.
After Vineet left the place, I and Anya also felt that we should get out of here and have a talk while having a walk. We both were holding each other’s hand and were walking. Each and every second of that walk is minted in mind.
Our conversation of that walk was:

Ishant: Anya it has been so long we met for the last time.

Anya: Ishant it has been exactly 8 months,28 days and 13 hours since we met for the last time.

Ishant: I am sorry Anya I was not able to meet you at the time when you were leaving for your hostel.

Anya: Ishant you don’t need to be sorry. There was not even a penny size fault of yours. Your college was the reason that we didn’t met at that time. I never felt bad or been sad or upset because of it. Your crying on that day is something I can never forget Ishant.

Ishant: I was not crying. It was something bad in the network that my voice was coming out in that way.

Anya: (LAUGHS) At least make some valid reasons to hide your truth. Even if the network was bad how come your dialogues were of so sad and upset genre. Ishant I really respect you and am really really happy to know how much you love me and how true your feelings are for me. I really love you a lot Ishant.

Ishant: I know that Anya and I love you too. You know Anya all this time when we were totally out of touch, I knew that every day we are getting even more close. Anya in the starting it was really very difficult to spend even a second. Every moment I was just looking into my phone in a hope that it will ring, or a message will pop up from your side. I was unable to concentrate anywhere else. Then I remembered the promise I did to you of not being sad or upset after you will go to hostel and then I controlled myself and the emotions.

Anya: I know Ishant. Starting days were really like hell. I can’t tell how depressed and sad I was. The only support system there for me was that teddy which you had gifted me on my birthday. The teddy was with me from my lowest to the highest point. He has seen me crying and laughing. These months were really like a roller coaster ride for emotions.

Ishant: By the way Anya thank you for this beautiful surprise.

Anya: Oh Ishant there is no need of thank you. I was dying to meet you. I really wanted to wish you first but if I would have done it then this surprise would have lost it’s charm right.

Ishant: Anya you don’t know how special you have made me feel today. And that song Kaun Tujhe from your voice for me was such a big surprise. I really love you a lot Anya.

Anya: Oh come on Ishant I don’t sing that well. You have this very bad habit of praising for everything. It’s like I am a perfect girl.

Ishant: So what Anya. You are a perfect girl. A perfect girl for a not so perfect boy but someone who really loves you a lot and his love for you increases with every passing second.

Anya: So sweet of you Ishant. Love you.

Ishant: Love you too Anya.

Anya: Ishant by the way when are you going back to your college?

Ishant: Why are we talking about the separation? First let us meet properly.

Anya: I understand Ishant but please tell me when are you leaving it’s important.

Ishant: I will be leaving on 13th January because my college is opening from 14th. You will stay for a long duration now right.

Anya: No Ishant. This stupid school don’t even give holidays for a long duration. I am leaving on 8th January.

Ishant: 8th January!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But why Anya? Why so early? You have come just yesterday and you will go back on 8th. Are those guys nuts? Who give such few holidays.

Anya: Calm down Ishant. It’s ok. I also got upset when I got to know about it but we really can’t help it.

Ishant: I will seriously miss you a lot Anya.

Anya: Mr. Duffer I am not going right now. Well I am going right now but to home and still there are a lot of days left for us to spend together. So just enjoy these moments and capture them in camera of your mind and keep them inside the locker of your heart because these will help you when I will not be around you and you will desperately be missing me.

Ishant: Anya don’t talk like this. Ok so you are going to home now. So first drop me home and then go. By the way I will make memories and they will be so so large in number that locker of heart will ask for additional locker.

Anya: Hahahahah!!!! Ok. I will drop you. By the way you want to ride or I should ride?

Ishant: I will ride and you sit comfortably behind just enjoying the moment.

Anya: As you say Ishant.

After that I started riding her scooty and she was sitting behind me grabbing me so tightly that I was feeling that she thinks I will get disappear if she will leave me. We both were really enjoying those moments. I wanted that this ride should never end and we should be together like this for eternity. But thoughts and dreams do come to an end as that ride did. We reached my place. I left the scooty and gave the control to her. I said good bye to her and as soon as I started walking to my home, she grabbed my shirt and pulled me towards her. As I came close to her, she hugged me and it was a very tight hug. While leaving she said, “Happy birthday Ishant. Love you a lot and we will be together forever.”
I was just standing there with a smile on my face and the tear of happiness in my eyes.

After that day, we both met daily and went to different places and spent some really good time together. We both were enjoying every bit of every moment. We wanted these moments to just be never ending but the dooms day arrived.

I was again getting the same feeling that I got when she was leaving for the hostel for the first time. This time it was a face-to-face interaction. She knew I will get weak after watching and talking about her leaving so she played cleverly and she talked about everything else and whenever I used to bring the topic of her going, she just used to change the topic. She just didn’t want me to think about it. When I was about to leave the place after the final good bye, I was those so rigid tears in her eyes which were filling inside the eyes but were not ready to fall down. As if till the time she will not give permission to them they can’t dare to fall. And she didn’t. She was rock-solid that day. I knew she was breaking from inside but she was not at all ready to show it outside. I went close to her and kissed on her forehead and told her, “Don’t worry Anya. Soon the day will come when we both will be spending each second of our life with each other. Then there will be no one who will be be able to stop us from being together. Never forget Anya, distances don’t break the relation, they just test their strength and we both know that in these small tests our relation can never fail because it’s a purest relation.” This dialogue made her weak. She hugged me and started sobbing. I never saw her crying so loud. It was really a moment which in engraved in my soul. It took me a lot of time to calm her down and make her normal again. Some feelings and emotions are not at all under our control and this one was beyond my control.

She left the next day early morning. As she was going with her parents, our meeting that was not possible but still I wanted the last glimpse of her. I texted her that I be waiting for her at Tribune Chowk. All she needs to do is open her window of car and keep looking out. I will see her. I was waiting there from 4 in the morning. It was very cold at that time. I was feeling like someone had kept me inside the freezer and also set the temperature to coolest.

And finally in this cold desert a warm ray of sunlight fall as I saw her car. I really felt that this wait for worth. Her car was taking a roundabout turn and my eyes were moving along it. I was looking to Anya without a blink of an eye. I was lost in her charismatic beauty. She was also just looking towards me. We both felt the same feeling at that moment. We both didn’t made any word out of our mouths but our eyes spoke everything.  Suddenly she disappeared. She disappeared like she was an angel and came on earth just to give me a look. It was really a heart touching moment for me.

I came back to my place and started my packing. My packing to go to Delhi. I had my cousins staying there. I wanted to spend few days there before going back to my college life. Parents didn’t stop me as they knew I come for a very less time and I also want to spend time with every time. The next day I took my backpack and hogged into a Volvo to Delhi. I reached there. It took me 5 hrs to complete this journey. I was in Delhi on 09th January. I went to my cousins’ place and started having great time.

Life is all about right surprise at right time because if you give a surprise at a wrong time it will not take a lot of time for the conversion of the surprise into a shock. On 11th January I and Anya were about to complete one year of our relation and on 12th it was her birthday. I wanted to meet her anyhow on both the days but I remembered that she had told me that it’s impossible for her to meet even if I come to her school because as it was just a girl school, the school authorities don’t allow meeting with any individual till the time his/her information are not in the school records. But I wanted to meet her. I wanted this day to be special for her. I along with my cousin sister reached to her school. I had no idea how I am going to manage to meet her but I reached there. It took me 40 minutes from my cousins place to reach there. When I was standing outside that big gate I was able to feel what’s going inside it. I was able to feel all her cries to just get out of this place once. As it was second Saturday, I was getting an essence that it’s not a working day. And that makes my task even more tough.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I was continuing the story and suddenly we arrived at Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminal 3, Mumbai. I went quiet. Akshay was looking towards me. He said to me, “Dude what’s wrong with you? Carry on your Dreams of love. I want to know what happened then. Is it the end of Dreams of love? Were you able to meet her?”

I smiled while looking toward Akshay. I replied, “Dreams of love has just begun Akshay. I will surely tell you what happened after that and did I met her or not. Dreams of Love still needs to start. What I told you was just a trailer, the full motion picture is still left my friend. Do you really feel it will go so easy on me? My love story without any drama’s and so monotonous. You know what Akshay, you have heard just the good and happy part of the story by now.”

Akshay gave me a strange look as if he wanted to kill me. We both started to get off the plane and heading towards the luggage belt to pick our bags. He was again and again just saying that he will kill me if I will not continue my story. I was just smiling and smiling. He booked a cab and reached our hotel. The hotel was just a two-minute drive from Karan’s production so there was no chance that we could get late tomorrow morning. We went to our room and ordered dinner. After having our dinner, I laid on bed. Akshay was still asking me to carry on my story. I replied, “Akshay I will for sure but wait till tomorrows interview. After that we both are free, then I will narrate you the whole story.”

He replied okay.

It was really a sleepless night because I was getting worried for tomorrow and also about Anya that how will she be managing in such a long flight and that too alone. I was hoping that she must be reading my Dreams of Love. Around 3 I started calling on her cell phone as I was sure that she must have landed by 2 and all the official works should be over by now. She was still not picking up the call. This time I was getting irritated. Not because I was fed up of her this habit but because I was getting really anxious. All the wrong possibilities were coming to my mind. I called around 200 times in one-hour time period but she was not picking up.

I was getting really tensed. At 4:15 in the morning I received a text from an unknown international number. The text was,..

Hey Ishant 200 calls!!! Are you alright? Don’t stress out yr. I am totally fine. My flight was half an hour late and also as usual my phone was on silent. I am really really sorry. Please don’t get angry. Ok listen this is my new number. Save it and remember it by heart okay. The flight was really very tiring. I am going to my rented apartment and will rest for few hours now. Will call you once I wake up again. And chill baby everything is fine.
Love,
Anya…..

I immediately replied on the same number saying that,

I was getting very tensed and it’s okay I am not getting angry but make sure your phone is no more on silent, never on silent. And yes do take rest. Enjoy your first day in the new city and country. Call me soon. Miss you a lot Anya and of course love you too.  

After this little but heart-warming conversation my heart at last was beating at a normal pace. My mind was cool now and stress free. I slept.

Next morning, I and Akshay both woke up at 8 and in next one hour we both were ready for the big day.  At 9:45 in the morning we were sitting inside the office of Karan Production and were waiting for our call. We both were feeling that time has lowered its pace and it will take another year for the end of these 15 minutes.

As soon as it was 10, the girl on reception whom Akshay was continually trying to impress called both of us and asked us to go to Managing Directors room as he will be talking to us about our job and the upcoming projects.

When we reached in the room, we saw a tall handsome hunk was sitting inside. He called both of us inside and asked us to sit. He offered us coffee. We both were too good to refuse. After all it was our first coffee of our dream job place. The manager started talking about the project and our job…

 

"Well guys, it will be a three film contract between us. You both will be on the post of Creative Directors. All these three films will be shot abroad and you both will be part of the team visiting outdoors. All your stay and other expenses will be taken care by us.
Well your salary will be Rs.6 Lakhs per annum with additional bonus according to your work rate and level.
All these three films will be shot in London, Paris and Melbourne. The shoot for the first will kick off after 2 months and the shoot will start from London.
All these shoots in each of the place will last for the varying time period of 2 to 3 months depending upon the demand of the script.  
If you both are okay, then you both can go to Creative section and your contracts will be present there to sign."
 
  

Akshay immediately replied yes we are ready and okay with the contract. We are going to sign it.

I held her hand back and said, “Sorry Sir. I am really happy with the contract and everything else but I can’t accept this job offer. I am sorry. It was really a dream come true for me when I got to know I am going to work with Karan Production but sir due to some personal problems and promises I can’t accept this offer. I hope you will not mind. Akshay will surely board your plane but I can’t. Sorry.”

There was pin drop silent in the room suddenly. I shook hand with the Managing Director and Akshay and left the place. Akshay was looking to me surprised.

 

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

WHY AKSHAY IGNORED THE OFFER OF KARAN PRODUCTION WHEN IT WAS HIS DREAM COMPANY? WHAT WAS STOPPING HIM FROM JOINING THE COMPANY? IS THERE SOMETHING WHICH LIES IN THE PAST?

AND WHAT DOES THE DREAM OF LOVE DIARY HAS MORE TO OFFER AS ACCORDING TO ISHANT WHAT ALL HE NARRATED TO AKSHAY WAS JUST THE TRAILER. ABOUT WHICH BAD PART OF THE STORY HE WAS TALKING ABOUT.

ALL THE QUESTIONS WILL BE ANSWERED IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OF THE STORY SOON…….

      

  

 


 

 

 

 

         

  

      

                    

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