Loving A Reject

This is cringy as shit but there is some stuff in here that involves self-harm, eating disorder, depression, etc.

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1. Bruise Make-up

Maddie's P.O.V

*Trigger Warning*

I whimpered as my dad’s foot smashed into my stomach repeatedly. Finally after a few minutes I felt air go in to my lungs realizing that he had stopped and walked to the kitchen to get even more alcohol. Knowing he would be back after taking a few sips of tequila, I got up and ran to my sibling's rooms while trying to stay calm.

 

“Brady and Rose you have to get up and go to Calum’s, I will pick you up in the morning. I love you bye!”

 

I tried to look like I wasn’t hurt and happy as they walked to the neighbors. I closed the door knowing my dad was a few steps behind, I turned around in fear. I closed my eyes and opened them again seeing I was laying on the floor, I could feel my dad’s fist hit my face. After a few minutes of my dad hitting me, he lost all his energy and laid on the couch grabbing his tequila bottle again. I felt so much pain yet I also felt numb all at the same time. I got up on my knees and dragged myself to my bathroom to try and clean most of the blood off my face. After I finished taping the cuts on my face I fell asleep on the floor of the bathroom with the door locked.

 

 

I woke up from a nightmare and it just so happened that I woke up right on time for school. I quietly walked into my room and grabbed a navy blue oversized sweater and walked out the front door to Calum’s house. I knocked on the door, Calum opened the front door knowing it was me.

 

“Hey Maddie, they are just getting up now.”

 

“Ok good.”

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“Ya, I’m fine.”

 

“Are you sure Maddie, you don’t look ok!”

 

“It’s fine, I’m fine.”

 

I whisper as I stare blankly at the door knob. Feeling numb like usual that was until I saw Brady and Rose walk to the door, I forced a smile on my face as they walked over and gave me a hug. I could tell that Calum knew it was a fake smile, I continued to force a smile as we started walking away. I felt Calum’s hand grab my wrist turning me around to face him.

 

“You know whatever is happening you can tell me, I can help you.”

 

I shake my head and whispered, “I’m not ready yet.”

 

“Okay but as soon as you are come talk to me I will always be here.”

 

“I will Calum, oh and thank you again for letting them sleep here.”

 

“Oh it’s no problem, see ya.”

 

“Bye Calum.”

 

I turned back towards my house and walked with Brady and Rose. We walk in the house as I quickly push them upstairs and tell them to get ready for school. I walk into my closet and just change my pants into black skinny jeans while keeping my oversized sweater on. I walk into the bathroom and started packing foundation all over my black eye, I only have enough money for really crap makeup so it didn’t cover much. I brushed my teeth and threw a beanie on my straight, light brown hair. I looked into my brown eyes through the mirror in front of me, all I could see was a gross, fat, ugly creature standing there. 

 

I walk out of the bathroom to see my sister Rose curling her beautiful dark brown hair and my Brother Brady brushing his hands through his light blonde hair. I snuck down to the kitchen to grab my siblings something for breakfast. As I brought them cereal Rose was applying eyeshadow to compliment her brown eyes, Brady’s eyes are the same beautiful shade of brown. After they finished getting ready we walked through the front door and got into my dad’s car which he never drove because he was drunk 24/7. We pulled up to the school and they all jumped out. After they got inside of their school I drove to mine. As I walked in and heard someone yell 

 

“Hey look it’s the freak, she showed up looking like an ugly rat as usual.”

 

After that comment the room filled with insults all targeting me. I ignore them all by putting in my headphone and played my music. I grabbed my books for 1 & 2 period, I turned around and start walking to class. Then all of the sudden I was on the floor with my papers scattered everywhere. I laid there not in the mood to move an inch. I was really good at faking my happiness around Brady and Rose but at school, I didn’t care about it. I had to hide my pain from Brady and Rose so they could be safe and not get involved with my dad. I was planning on laying here until lunch came but then I felt hands grabbing my sides helping me u. I tried to look at who it was but I couldn’t see anything through the tears that haven’t yet fallen. 

 

“Are you alright?”

 

I start to nod my head but then thought what’s the point of hiding my problems when they are so noticeable, so I started shaking my head. A tear dropped down my face clearing my vision allowing me to see someone that I didn’t recognize, he had red hair and was wearing a band tee and black jeans.

 

“That's pretty brutal what they did to you, oh and I'm Michael I'm new here.”

 

Finally standing on my two feet I respond “Maddie.”

 

“Well it’s every nice to meet you” he replied as he was picking up all my papers and handed them to me. I stand there in amazed because no one ever helps me with anything, he then gives me an adorable smile then asks me where his room is. I walk with him to his room (which was Social) then walk La. As I walked in everyone was staring at me giving me the death glare. Again I ignoring everyone, I walk to the back of the class to my usual seat all alone. 

 

Once this class with done I carefully walked into Band hoping that no one will bother me. Today was a free class so we got to do whatever we wanted. I grabbed my guitar and walked into a small practice room, always on free days I work on writing music. I put a lot of effort into my songs although I’m never going to share them with anyone. For what seemed like 5 minutes the class was already over.

 

I walked up to my locker and put away my books and continued down to the lunchroom with just my headphones and phone. I sat down at the back of the lunch room where I sit alone every day. I turn up the music on my phone then to my surprise Michael walked up to me and sat down. 

 

“Hey, Maddie, where is your lunch?”

 

“Oh, I’m not hungry,” I say while thinking that I haven’t eaten in 43 hours.

 

“Hmm well if you feel hungry all the sudden have some of my food.”

 

I nodded my head knowing I wasn’t going to take any food from him. We sit in a comfortable silents for a bit until Michael turns to me asking

 

“So what happened to your face?”

 

“I’m working on bruise make-up.”

 

“Well, that is one realistic ‘fake’ black eye.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

I say sarcastically. The bell rung and we walked to our lockers grabbing our books for period 3 & 4. I walk to Math alone and sit in the back just like every other class. Thankfully Math went by fast, I walked into Science and someone shouted “FATASS, Kill yourself already”. I sat down in my seat feeling so tired of trying. I put my head down as my eyes started watering, I tried my very hardest to hide that I was crying in class. I suddenly feel a hand touch my shoulder I look up and saw Michael there, I smiled at him because he made me feel like someone actually cared about me. I put my head back down he then started gently rubbing my back to comfort me. Finally, the bell rang in this boring class causing the halls filled with many teenagers trying to get home as quick as possible. I packed my bag and started heading to my car. Brady and Rose were waiting outside like usual. 

 

I felt so good from being around Michael and I wasn’t in the mood to get punched right now (I’m never in the mood to get punched but what I mean is sometimes I feel like I deserve what my dad does to me sometimes.)

 

“Hey, do you guys want to go and get a snack?”

 

“Of course!” Roses replied as Brady violently nodded his head.

 

We pulled up to the ice cream shop I handed them money and they walked in getting their favorite flavor. We all sat down on the bench in the beautiful sun. I was so excited that school was ending soon and I would be graduating and maybe going to college. but I wasn’t excited to be home with my dad all the time. They were both finished their ice cream so we all got back in the car and headed home. I walked in the door and saw that my dad wasn’t there in the living room or kitchen. I wasn’t worried about getting hit or kicked because he has been hurting me since I was 7 so I was completely used to it. The real reason I was worried was that I didn’t want Brady or Rose to see me get hurt. Unsure of where my dad was, I decided it was best that we went into their bedroom with them. We sat down and all started doing our homework because we had nothing else to do, I finished my work before them as I assisted them with the easy grade 9 math compared to my math. After they finished their homework we walked to my room and watched some tv Brady turned to me asking

 

“Maddie, can we have supper now?”

 

“ya, it’s already 7 o’clock.” Rose instantly added.

 

I nod my head and walk out of the room and down to the stairs. As I was walking to the kitchen I felt a fist striking me in the temple causing me to hit the floor hard, he then continued by kicking me in the stomach a few times then walked away leaving me there. After a few minutes of laying there I got up and made chicken noodle soup, I carefully walked up the stairs to my room bring them their hot supper. We all watched tv until 11 pm as I told them to go to bed. 

 

Once I knew that everyone was asleep I snuck into my bathroom. I started the shower then opened the drawer, I reached in and grabbed a sharp glistening piece of metal. I continued on into the shower, washed my hair and shaved. I then sat down as I grabbed the blade, holding it up against my skin. I applied pressure and swiftly moved it across my wrist. One after another my wrist had about 50 cuts all spewing blood. Not feeling like it was enough I placed it on my tights doing the exact same thing. I smiled in satisfaction as the blood started dripping down my leg and wrist. I was starting to feel a bit light headed but still very satisfied. I sat there as the warm water hit my fresh wounds causing a bit of stinging but I liked it. The water started turning a light red as it mixed in all the blood. I stopped the water and hopped out and dried my body. Reaching in the same spot my blade was, I grabbed an elastic bandage and wrapped my wrist and upper thigh. Trying to be quiet I tip-toed back to my room and flopped on my bed and stared at the wall. I knew I was hardly going to sleep tonight, I reached over to my bedside table and took two sleeping pills and closed my eyes until my body fell into a light sleep.

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