I'll Be Here |Joshler|

|Twenty One Pilots Faniction| Tyler Joseph wants to die. Then he meets Josh Dun. Maybe, because of him, he might think twice.

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11. Okay

Trigger warning: Self harm and suicidal thoughts

Tyler woke to the sound of birds chirping outside his window. He was curled up into his comforter, inhaling the sweet smell of fresh linens. The little things in life were just so pleasant sometimes, and after wanting to die for so long, the little things sort of made him realize that if he were dead he wouldn't get to experience the smell ever again. 

Oh, but the idea of not breathing was still so much more tempting.

It was with this thought that the events of the night before suddenly flooded his mind and he groaned, rolling onto his back and running a hand through his dark brown hair which was sticking up in every direction. 

Josh wanted to talk.

He sighed, fumbling around for his phone. It was already 7:30 and he knew he would be late for school, but so would the rest of the sophomore class. It was very likely that Brendon, Ashley, and countless others had spent the night at Pete's. 

Tylerrjoseph: Hey

SpookyJimChristmas: Hi

Tylerrjoseph: You wanted to talk?

SpookyJimChristmas: Ye meet me outside the school by that big maple tree @ lunch

Tylerrjoseph: k

SpookyJimChristmas has logged off.

Tylerrjoseph has logged off.

 

When Tyler got to school, he was met in the hallways by many teens with obvious hangovers. Everyone looked rather sick and tired, all holding their foreheads in their hands. He wondered what the teachers would make of this, they probably wouldn't have many participators in class. He was more than glad he hadn't gotten high the night before. 

Entering science class resulted in immediate eye contact with Josh, who had been staring at the door expectantly. He slowly made his way to the back, sitting down and staring at the back of Josh's head, a frizzy, pastel blue mess. 

What in the world was he feeling right now? Would he yell at Tyler when they met under the tree at lunch? Would he apologize? Tyler would apologize. He would apologize for whatever he did to make Josh upset with him. 

Josh turned around in his seat, catching Tyler in his gaze once more. The look on his face was not rage-filled, nor was it happy. It was more... concerned. Concerned, probably because Tyler had prin-picks of tears in his dark brown eyes. He wiped them away quickly, why was he so quick to cry? 

Crybaby.

'You okay?' Josh mouthed, and Tyler just nodded. 

Josh gave him a knowing look and turned back around in his seat. 

Maybe he wasn't mad at him after all. 

"Good morning, class!" Ms.Singh greeted them with unexpected enthusiasm. 

"Morning," Some students in the class mumbled, specifically those who weren't at the party. 

Ms.Singh clasped her hands together, making her way to the front of the room. 

"Today we're going to be dissecting frogs!" The class let out a collective groan as Ms.Singh started passing out goggles, "So, everyone team up with a partner."

Tyler and Josh both looked to each other and Josh nodded, standing up and making his way towards a lab table. Tyler followed closely behind, they sat down on the stools that were rather high from the ground. 

Before long, Josh was going to work on the frog, leaving Tyler to stare awkwardly. Josh looked up at him, giving him a smirk. 

"Do you want to help? Or does this gross you out?"

Tyler shook his head. "N-no, I'll help."

"Great, can you hand me that knife over there?"

Tyler handed him the knife, ignoring the stinging sensation coming from his wrist, reminding him he had in fact broken his promise to Josh. 

"J-Josh, are you mad at me?"

Josh looked up at him, raising an eyebrow.

"Mad? Why would I be mad?"

"L-last night you seemed very m-mad at me. Are you going to yell at me when we meet under the tree?"

Josh's face fell, he took Tyler's hands in his. 

"I'm not mad at you, but I do want some answers. I won't yell at you, I promise."

Tyler nodded, blinking back his tears. Josh reached up to caress his cheek, still slightly bruised from Felix. 

"I'm very sorry for the way I was acting, Tyler. I..."

"You what?"

"Nevermind. I'll tell you at lunch."

 

**************

"He's totally going to admit he has a crush on you!" Melanie squealed, a bounce in her step. 

Tyler rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, right, Brendon was stoned as hell last night. I don't think he was telling the truth."

"I don't know," Melanie retorted, "It doesn't seem that out of the ordinary to rebound out of jealousy."

Tyler shrugged and the bell rang, lunch was now in session. His palms began to sweat and he rubbed them on his jeans, waving goodbye to Melanie and nervously making his way towards the back door of the school. 

He walked out into the harsh wind of Ohio, it was progressively becoming colder as fall developed. It only took him a moment to spot a tuft of blue hair sticking out from behind a tree. 

"Josh!" 

Josh poked his head around the side of the tree, looking both relieved and scared at the sight of Tyler. He motioned for him to come sit down in the grass with him. 

"Hi."

"Hi."

"So... you wanted to talk to me... about last night, right?"

Josh nodded, biting his lip nervously as Tyler sat beside him. 

"Yeah. I'm really, really sorry for how I was acting. I... god, I'm sorry for scaring you like that, too."

He looked down at grass and Tyler immediately slipped his hand into his. 

"It's okay, Josh, I forgive you. It's just... Why were you acting like that, exactly?"

Josh looked up into Tyler's eyes, doubt flooding his expression.

"If I told you, I'm not sure you'd want to be friends anymore."

Tyler shook his head.

"I'm sure whatever it is, it's not as bad as the secrets I have."

Josh raised an eyebrow.

"What secrets do you have?"

"Are you stalling, Josh? I'll tell you if you tell me."

Josh took a deep breath, looking away from Tyler once more.

"I... Okay, look. I was being an ass last night because... I saw you holding hands with that girl and I got jealous. I got jealous because I like you, Tyler, I really like you."

There was a moment of silence as Tyler interpreted what Josh had just said.

The quiet stretched out, it was practically unbearable.

"I like you, too, Josh."

Josh looked back at Tyler, excitement, and relief visible in his expression.

"Really?"

"Yes, really. I've had a crush on you ever since that day at the park," Tyler admitted, blushing. 

"So, then, why were you with that girl?"

Tyler chuckled lightly. 

"You know Pete and Patrick, they're so persistent.

Josh nodded. 

"So they set you up with her?"

"Yeah. I'm not sure how she's going to take me cutting things off with her because I'm gay. She's really sweet. I wish Patrick had been informed about my sexuality, then I wouldn't be in this situation."

"So, then, what's your secret?"

Tyler stiffened, his face falling. 

"I... Josh, you're not going to like it."

Josh frowned, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I told you my secret."

Tyler nodded nervously. 

"J-Josh, please don't be mad when I tell you."

Josh reached up and swept Tyler's dark brown hair out of his eyes and back up into a casual swoop on his head. The kid definitely needed a haircut.

"I could never be mad at you. Last night, I was only jealous, remember? Not mad."

He watched as tears filled Tyler's eyes.

"I-I b-broke m-my promise, Josh."

Josh cocked his head to the side, furrowing his brow, confusion settling on his face. Tyler pulled up his sleeve slowly to show Josh what he meant.

"I did it a-again."

Josh gasped at Tyler's scars, they were messy and abundant on his arm. They looked fresh, very fresh as if he had done this only the night before. As Josh observed, Tyler looked away shamefully.

"Tyler..."

"P-Please don't h-hit me."

Josh felt his heart drop at this. He felt it literally shatter as he wrapped his arms around the frail boy, who was shaking frantically. 

"I would never hurt you, beautiful."

Tyler just sobbed into Josh's shoulder. He felt his shirt become damp with tears, but he didn't care, as long as Tyler felt cared for he was fine. 

So they sat there, under the tree, Josh whispering soothing words into Tyler's ear while he held him close, letting him cry. 

Finally, Tyler peeled himself away from Josh, whimpering, wiping his eyes and pointing at a rather prominent stain on Josh's T-shirt. 

Josh looked down at it, shaking his head.

"Don't worry about it. I'll always be here for you, no matter what, okay?"

Tyler sniffled.

"Why aren't you mad?"

Josh gave him a sad smile, wiping his tears with the soft pad of his thumb.

"I told you, Ty, I could never get mad at you. I want to help you."

Tyler began to tremble and Josh wrapped him in a hug once more.

"Calm down, you're okay, I won't let anyone hurt you."

It took Tyler a moment, but he managed to steady his breathing as Josh let him lie against his chest. 

"Okay," He finally whispered.

The two boys spent the rest of lunch cuddled in each other's arms, watching the leaves fall from the tree above, which loomed like a canopy above them.

Everything was going to be okay.

 

A/N: This chapter was really short uhghghgghh

 

 

 

 

 

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