Faery Heroes

Response to Paladeus's challenge "Champions of Lilith". Harry, Hermione, and Luna get a chance to travel back in time and prevent the hell that England became under Voldemort's rule, and maybe line their pockets while they're at it. Lunar Harmony; plenty of innuendo, dark humor, some bashing included; manipulative!Dumbles; jerk!Snape; bad!Molly, Ron, Ginny



3. Fights, Plots, and Suicide

Harry whistled as he walked into the library. He had an absolutely devoted elf, soon to be two, and a source of income. As soon as there were two beautiful young women hanging off his arms, he would be as happy as a pig in mud, and the Point Me spell showed a delightful pair of arm-warmers just up ahead.

He quickly found them, sitting and talking quietly. He stalked over to Hermione's chair and put his hands on her shoulders. "Hey there, pretty girl. You come here often?"

Her face was hidden, but the smile she wore came out in her voice. "So what if I do? If you're hitting on me, you might as well walk away now. My boyfriend is the jealous type."

"Ah, I can take him, show you how a real man fights."

"He doesn't fight fair, it'll be over before you even know he's here." She turned around and gave him a once-over. "Besides, I'm not interested. I like my guys taller."

"Ouch!" Placing a hand over his heart, he looked over at Luna, who was reading a book on Transfiguration history upside-down. "What about you, honey?"

She did not even spare him a glance. "My boyfriend is the same way. Same person, actually."

"Some guys get all the luck." All three of them laughed as he sat down. "So what have you been up to, my lovelies?"

Luna put her book down. "Nothing much, we were waiting to make sure you were up before we looked for you, though we didn't expect you would be out already."

"Neither did I," said Harry, "but Poppy was a whole lot nicer to me this morning than she's ever been before. Maybe she finally fell for my charm."

"Did you ask to leave or just demand to be let out?" Hermione questioned.

He smiled sheepishly. "Asked."

"That does make more sense than her falling for your 'charms'. I don't mind Hermione, but I won't share a bed with someone old enough to be my mother, no matter how perky her tits are." Harry and Hermione did not appreciate the mental image the blonde had invoked and made their displeasure clear by tossing her over their shoulders and departing from the library. Well, he had her on his shoulder; Hermione had just taken the two bags that were on the table.

"Naughty nurses aside, we should have a chat. Have any ideas, Mione?"

"Requirement?" Though it took Harry a moment to interpret, he supported the suggestion. The Room of Requirement would give them the privacy they needed for their planning.

"Well, since we're all agreed," Luna said before sharply slapping Harry's arse, "mush!"

The walk to the seventh floor was uneventful, though the trio did receive strange looks from the students they passed. They finally arrived at the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy and his dancing trolls. Hermione began pacing, muttering a list of demands, and opened the door that had appeared in the wall. "Okay you two, inside. Luna, take your hands out of his pants."


The Room had become a cozy sitting room, complete with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves and large circular couch. Sitting down, the door melted into the wall and the lovers became more serious. "Harry, we're here, healthy, much weaker than we are used to, and severely lacking in funds. How quickly can you get the Treasure Chest open again?"

"Er…" Harry knew he would have to tell them about Dobby, but he was hoping for a better opening. "Soon, maybe early next month."

"That fast? How? Even if it's only 1994, there's still a lot of damage and neglect that has to be repaired to get to the vault." She paused as she looked at his expression. "What are you trying to hide?"

"Hide? I'm not hiding anything."

"Yes, you are. I can see it."

Looking at Hermione, then Luna, he knew the jig was up; he pulled Luna into his lap as an attractive human shield before he spoke. "Dobby was willing to help out. Quite happy to do so, too."

"You can't make him quit his job here, he couldn't get a place with any other family because he wanted to be paid. If he left, practically the only person who would take him in would be…" Her confusion rapidly morphed to anger. "You didn't. Harry, tell me you didn't do what I think you did!"

Knowing he was dead meat, he tightened his grip on the girl who didn't currently want to use his guts as garters. "So Luna, how about them Harpies?"

"You know I prefer the Arrows, though there are several nice-looking Harpies. Remind me to put money on the Tornadoes, actually, considering they win the English League next year."

"Anyone else you want to put money on?"

"I'm not sure, but right now, not you."

"Harry. James. POTTER!"

He reluctantly glanced at his steaming girlfriend. An out right about now would be a blessing from heaven. "Have I ever told you how hot you look when you're angry?"

"Did. You. Enslave. Dobby. Or. Not?" She ignored the compliment, though it was a nice try. She'd ask him if he meant it later.

He looked anywhere but her. "Is it truly enslavement if he wants it?"


"Yes, I did bond with Dobby. He wanted to, I like having him on-call, as it were, so he can help us out if we need him to, and this way he will be tap into my, the family's, magic in case he has to fight like he did in the Battle. I don't see why you're so mad; he's been planning to be my elf practically since I freed him from the Malfoys in '92, and you know that I'm not going to abuse him. Merlin's beard, he'll probably be the best treated elf in Britain."

"That's not the point, Harry, and you know it! He was free and happy, and now you're dragging him back to the chains he fought so hard to get out of—"

"Enough." Luna interrupted sternly. She rarely acted this way, but when she did, the other two knew to listen, as it was always important. "Hermione, you are out of line. Harry will treat Dobby as well as he always has, and Dobby was and is devoted to him. Those 'chains' you speak of were due to his forced servitude to the Malfoy family; here, he bonded with Harry because it was his choice. You cannot say you are fighting for his freedom and happiness and then turn right around to deny him the ability to act on that freedom, even if it's returning to the bond.

"And Harry, you know how Hermione feels about house-elves. I'm not saying you need our permission – you're a grown man, after all – but perhaps you could have informed her a little more tactfully, or at least sent us a warning beforehand so she could get everything out of her system? There is also the fact that you still have little experience with them. Dobby is not a pet that will instantly forgive you if you offend him, as much as he acts like it sometimes."

Harry nodded at her chastisement; he had not thought of it at the time, but a heads-up would not have been too difficult, not to mention let the brunette's temper wind down just a little. That last statement of hers, though, was a bit much. "Are you sure that you want to bring up the proper care of pets? Do I need to remind you of poor Alex and Bobby?"

Her bright flush was confirmation enough that she would rather not have that discussed again. She had found Alex the snake and Bobby the rabbit in the Manor's yard and thought they would make wonderful pets. She put them in a cage, and when she came back an hour later, she found that Alex had strangled Bobby and then suffocated trying to eat him. Needless to say, that was not her brightest decision, and he and Hermione had ribbed on her mercilessly for it.

"Any other decisions you made this morning that we're not going to like?" snarled Hermione.

Great, Harry thought, now she's angry and hurt. Terrific. "I gave the Triwiz money to Fred and George, getting a bigger cut of the profit from their store this time."

This perked her up; having parents that owned their own clinic made her a little cautious in money matters. "How much?"

"Ten percent for two years, forty after that." He enjoyed the surprise on their faces. He would freely admit he was not nearly as intelligent as the girls, but he was by no means an idiot. "Now that we've covered our days, can we please figure out what we will do from here?"

Hermione settled back onto the couch while Luna returned to her spot now that she was in no danger of becoming collateral damage. The blonde was the first to answer, "Well, the Fae Queen is counting on us to get rid of Voldie-monkey, so we certainly have that goal."

"True," Hermione said, "and even if she weren't, he would still come after you. Killing him would be in our own interests. Actually, killing all the Death Eaters would be, too; Voldemort is strong magically, but most of his power comes from their support and positions in the Ministry. Without them, he's just a wizard."

"Yep, just a wizard. A powerful, ruthless, amoral, devious, and currently immortal wizard. That won't be hard at all." He sighed; he may be twenty-four in his mind, but he had the magic and body of a malnourished not-quite-fifteen-year-old. If we couldn't take Voldie out of the picture before we left, how can we do it now? He asked that question out loud.

"Well, that's obvious, Harry!" Luna cheered. "We have to turn ourselves into nargles. He won't expect that!"

Hermione frowned. "Nargles? What do the… Not nargles, foxes. We become the Foxes!"

Harry was now doubly confused. He knew 'nargle' was the term Luna used for the girls in Ravenclaw who routinely and casually bullied her and stole her possessions, but he had no clue what they had to do with foxes. Hermione seemed to understand, though, so what could they mean? She wasn't taking about the Animagus process; no one could take on more than one form. Perhaps there was a similarity between them? Both were said to be mischievous, and they were willing to openly steal when an opportunity presented itself. The Quibbler labeled nargles as pests, and many people hated foxes, especially in Nottinghamshire, where Potter Manor was located since they were endemic there. The Potter family had never felt that way, though; in fact, they had a special regard for foxes due to—

Due to the Hooded Foxes, the name the Potters took when we were thieves! If we rob the Death Eater bastards blind, we can claim their wealth and family artifacts while creating a chance to kill them. It's perfect!

"You two are geniuses! We take their money, and not only do we have more resources, Voldie has less!"

"And if we make sure that they know that it's a group of thieves, we can know that they don't know that it's us, though we'll have to leave enough false trails so they can't know what we know they don't know, because if they know, then we will be in a lot of risk until we know that they know."

"Luna, I love you, and Harry loves you, but please shut up," Hermione said, holding her head. "You're giving me a headache. If you have something to say, keep your thoughts in a straight line, not a circle."

"But Hermione, my thoughts weren't in a circle. They were in a spiral. A circle has no end point, but I knew exactly where I was going. Perhaps you're having too much sex if you can't think clearly; I know I can't when Harry's inside me, doing that one thing with his—"


"Moving. On." Harry, not for the first time, wondered how much easier life would be with only one of them in the picture. Easier, but certainly less fun. "If we're going to cause chaos as the Foxes and distract the Eaters from figuring out that it's us, we need to have a distinguishing mark, something for them to focus on. It also shouldn't have anything to do with the three of us, so no lightning bolts, or books, or creatures from the Quibbler."

This was right up Hermione's alley. "Well, we could create a variation on the Dark Mark, something mocking, like an obscene caricature. Or, perhaps, something with a fae theme."

"A purple unicorn!"

Harry and Hermione stared at their younger lover. What was she thinking now?

"And if we put it on a north-east facing wall, we could use it to attract Japanese tentacle monsters. They certainly wouldn't connect us with us then."

"Luna, babe, were you dropped on your head as a child?" Hermione asked.

She nodded. "Daddy went to a carnival when I was a few months old and thought I would be fun to juggle." She cocked her head, "I love him, and he has many talents, but juggling isn't one of them."

"Okay, while that explains quite a bit, it doesn't quite answer our question. What mark should we use?"

"I have an idea," Harry said, "but I'm not sure. The Potters were never connected with the Hooded Foxes; it should be safe. If we want the Purebloods to be distracted by an ancient group of thieves, we need to ensure they know who we are. So, a snickering fox?"

The girls each thought about it, before nodding. The Foxes were infamous, at least according to Luna, a nightmare to the rich and powerful. If the Death Eaters discovered the historic exploits of the group that was breaking their fancy wards and leaving them penniless, their terror would rapidly become the trio's best weapon. The shoe would, finally, be on the other foot.

"If we just attack Death Eaters, they will eventually figure out who is behind the thefts." Hermione thought aloud. "Thus the question becomes 'Should we also rob the rich neutral Purebloods?'"

Luna answered her. "It's simpler than that. The question is, 'In the years before and after Voldemort's third rise, did the neutral Purebloods do anything to absolve themselves of responsibility?' They did nothing, so they are just as culpable as the bigots who got the ugly tattoos. I say we turn all non-Light Purebloods into paupers."

"I second the motion," Harry joked.

"I suppose I vote in favor, too," said Hermione. "It's unanimous. Let's twist the wealth distribution of this world so far beyond normal that they never recover!"

The trio smiled; for the first time in two years, they had a plan beyond living to the next day. Like a veil had been lifted, they had a vision of a world they were not afraid or ashamed to be a part of.

"We can also get some practice in by taking out the Horcruces." Hermione stretched out on the couch. "Voldemort never checks in on them. He's new to his body, so if we destroy them quickly, he might think that the pain he's dealing with is the ritual, not his soul fragments dispersing to the Underworld, or wherever monsters like him go."

Harry agreed. "The locket is at Grimmauld, the ring at the Gaunt shack, the chalice is at Gringotts; I would prefer we get help from the goblins for that one again." There was no argument from the girls; if it weren't for Griphook, they would have had to attempt a break in, which would have almost guaranteed their deaths. "The diadem is here, so we should actually snag that one before we go home tomorrow. The diary is already gone. That just leaves Nagini, which will have to be killed last, and…"

He trailed off, his blood running cold. From Luna's and Hermione's faces, they had figured out the same problem he had. There were two Horcruces in Hogwarts right now: the diadem… and his scar.

"Maybe… maybe since it was destroyed last time, that change will carry over?" Hermione suggested weakly.

Luna had never had any use for self-deception, and she was not going to put up with it from her female lover. "The Horcrux was in his scar, Mione, not his mind. We have to deal with it now. It was never proven that Voldemort could use the connection to look into Harry's memories, but we can't rely on assumption."

"Well, we don't have any basilisk venom, and I'd rather not be immolated with Fiendfyre, so…" He didn't finish the sentence, didn't have to. There were four methods that could destroy a Horcrux, not the two Dumbledore thought. Those he had known about destroyed the vessel, leaving nothing for the soul piece to latch on to. The others separated the vessel and fragment directly: the Dementor's Kiss, which Harry would not agree to under any circumstances, or a spell that ripped the target's soul from his body.

"Luna, it looks like you will have to do it. Voldie used my blood already, so I have a pseudo-Horcrux. Make sure you aim at the scar, though, just in case."

She came up to kiss him passionately, followed by Hermione. Then she stood back, her face scrunched up as she gathered the necessary emotion. When her eyes opened, he flinched at the intensity of the hate she displayed in his direction, even as he knew none of it was for him. She raised her wand and took careful aim.

"Avada Kedavra."

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