You're my everything

It's hard to believe that a duo could have known each other for so long and still be together. Of course, it's not in the way Juno wants. Jervis was her everything..and she's determined to become his.

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11. Chapter 11

  The next morning, I was awoken by the sounds of banging on the front door. Still half asleep, I slowly walked down the stairs. I desperately needed more sleep. I spent half of the night just lying on the bed crying before eventually tiring myself out and drifting off into sleep without realizing it. My eyes felt sticky and heavy and I felt as if I had a head cold. This always happened whenever I cried before falling asleep and it was absolute torture the next day.

  I opened the door, the bright sunlight assaulting my eyes immediately so all I saw was a silhouette of a woman around my age.

  “Hey. I was worried that Tetch would answer the door, so I’m glad you’re up.” She said. I recognized her voice and moved to the side, ignoring the mention of my now ex-lover. Could I even call him that?

  “Wanna come in or something so I can actually see you?” I asked rhetorically. She made her way inside and I could finally see her. She was dressed in a dark green t-shirt that hugged her hips in a good way, and dark blue jeans. A very casual outfit, which was something I wasn’t used to seeing. I walked into the kitchen, turning on the stove to make some tea, yawning in the process. Julia turned around and inspected me closely.

  “Damn, were you sleeping? Did I wake you up?” She inquired. I nodded, yawning and rubbing one of my eyes to rid it of the crust.

  “What were you doing last night? It’s one in the afternoon.” She pointed to the clock. My gaze followed her hand and I saw that it was, indeed, one o’clock. My mouth dropped at this and I stood from the chair. Had I really slept for that long?

  “I-it’s complicated.” I told her as I walked around the kitchen, grabbing a bowl and filling it with Cheerios followed by milk. Julia looked around, worrying me as she did so. What was she looking for? It didn’t matter, instead, I offered her some cereal.

  “No thanks. But seriously, what happened? You look out of it today.” She commented. I rolled my eyes.

  “Thanks, Julia. Leave it to you to state the obvious.” I snapped. She raised her hands.

  “Something really shitty must’ve happened considering your mood. Normally you’re all bubbly.” She told me. I nodded with a sad smile.

  “Yeah. I guess you’re right.” I said solemnly. She stood from the wooden chair, the piece of furniture gliding across the black and white tile audibly. She placed her hand on my shoulder, leaning forward to catch a glance at my expression through my curls.

  “I’m here if you wanna talk about it.” She told me. I nodded, raising my head and finally looking her in the eyes, feeling the sting of tears once more. She pulled me into a hug as I completely lost my grip on my emotions, letting everything out once more.

 “Oh honey…” She muttered as she began to pet my head reassuringly. I let out a string of profanities as I cried into her shoulder.

  “Hey, calm down.” She said as she gently pushed me off of her, looking at me. I couldn’t meet her gaze.

  “Hey, look at me.” She attempted to calm me down, turning my head so I would look at her. Her eyes were soft and kind, welcoming as well. I felt as if I could tell her everything, everything that had happened within the past few hours, the past few days.

  “J-Jervis…” I began. Her eyes widened and she inspected me.

  “What did he do to you?” She asked in a serious tone. I shook my head, knowing that she wouldn’t find any bruises or wounds.

  “He left.” I answered simply. She finally looked up and stared into my eyes with the look of pity, much like the look I received from him last night.

  “I… I made him. I was so angry and confused and he wasn’t helping. He kept saying that we had to leave and I didn’t want to… I remembered something. Something that meant a lot to me. It was the one reason why I stayed with him throughout this whole thing. When we were younger, he made a promise to me… he said we’d get married when we got older. I held out hope this entire time. And about a week ago he told me that if finding Alice didn’t work out he’d finally do it. But then last night…” I stopped and began breathing heavily, trying to stop the inevitable sobbing. I regained my composure and continued.

  “Last night we couldn’t do it. In fact, she died trying to get away from him. He was freaking out and packing up. I told him that we didn’t have to leave and that we could lay low, he got mad at me. He told me that he didn’t want to sit here and play family with me. It brought back so many memories and it made me think of his promise. I realized that he was never going to do that, even if she weren’t dead. And it hurt. It really truly did.” I looked down at my half empty bowl of cereal, feeling the rage build up within me.

  “Not to mention the shit Alice told me.” I muttered. Julia looked at me intensely, and I could tell that she was trying to process everything I just said. She furrowed her eyebrows, intrigued by my story.

  “What did she tell you?” She inquired cautiously. I took a deep breath, my heart aching as I remembered how much of a monster he truly was. I still found it hard to believe, but I knew I was in denial. There’s no way she would lie to me.

  “He… he was… attracted to her.” I tried to explain. Julia’s eyes widened in shock.

  “Are you serious?” She asked in a shocked tone. I nodded. When I thought back to it, it added up. The obsession with finding her when she ran away, the reason why she ran away. He was abusing her in the worst way.

  “I couldn’t handle that; I began to doubt myself. I wondered how many times he was actually kissing me because he had feelings for me. I wondered how many times he made love to me because he actually loved me. I was doubting everything.” I admitted. She looked down, nodding slightly.

  “That sucks.” She told me. I nodded, feeling the rage, doubt and sadness fight for dominance within me. He still meant the world to me, but I knew that I was not as important to him as he was to me.

  “And before he left… he tried to woo me with his words. Told me that he didn’t want to lose me too, telling me that he loved me. I-I just couldn’t trust him. How could I tell if he was lying?” At this point I was having another break down.

  “Please Julia, tell me how I could tell if he was lying. I have to know. I miss him.” I cried. She stood in front of me awkwardly. I walked around the kitchen, crying my eyes out.

  “I feel like I’ve made a mistake.” I muttered. I sped over to the counter, grabbing the phone.

  “I have to find him.” I said to myself. Julia grabbed the phone from me, giving me a stern look as she slammed it back onto the counter.

  “I’m not gonna let you run back into his arms. Not after all this.” She told me. My lip trembled as I let out another cry. She pulled me into her arms, holding me tightly. She whispered calming things into my ear such as “it’s okay” and “he isn’t good enough for you.” I still felt so incomplete. How could I do this without him. I couldn’t remember a time in my life where he wasn’t there. I’d known him for most of my life, and now he’s suddenly… gone. And it’s my fault. I slid down the wall, crying into my knees.

  “Yukki.” I muttered. I repeated that one word over and over. I needed him to sit next to me, wipe away my tears and tell me everything is okay. I needed him to hug me and tell me how much he loved me. I needed him in general.

  “Yukki… I’m sorry. It’s my fault. I need you.” I said. Julia walked across the room, grabbing her coat off of the chair before turning to me.

  “If you need anything, just call.” She told me before leaving. I looked up, staring at the cabinets in front of me.

  “If you find Yukki, tell him that I’m waiting.” 

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