You're my everything

It's hard to believe that a duo could have known each other for so long and still be together. Of course, it's not in the way Juno wants. Jervis was her everything..and she's determined to become his.

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10. Chapter 10

  Recklessly driving through the night on the empty Gotham streets, I tried my hardest not to get distracted. There was screaming and crying coming from the passenger's seat beside me and it was enough to keep me focused, but at the same time it was an awful distraction. With every whimper and cry, my heart broke. While I had known her for almost my entire life as well, it hurt more to see, no, just to hear him after this.

The house came up faster than I thought it would, but with the way I was driving it made sense. I stopped abruptly and tugged the seatbelt off of me. I ripped the keys out, grabbed Antique, and rushed to the other side of the car. The sight of him was heartbreaking. He wasn't looking up, his head was in his hands and he was leaning forward. I grabbed his arm and pulled gently.

"Jervis, come on." I said. He didn't budge, instead he let out a shaky breath. I looked around to make sure we weren't being followed. Pursing my lips, I thought long and hard about how I was going to get him out of the car.

"Please." Was all I could say. I wasn't sure what I was going to do, the one thing that made me nervous was the thought of him losing the will to live because of this. A million thoughts seemed to rush through my head all at once, ones that made sense and ones that I knew I shouldn't be having. As soon as the adrenalin from before wore off, I dropped to my knees, letting go of Antique. I felt the sting of tears as the reality of what just happened finally reared its ugly head and put weight to my heart.

"Oh Yukki... I'm so sorry." I muttered. The only sound that the wind carried were cries from my beloved. It all hurt, the state he was in, losing a lifelong friend... I couldn't possibly think of a worse outcome that tonight could have resulted in. The moist asphalt dug and scratched at my knees as I shifted my position, this time sitting with my knees against my chest. I heard a click and a slight shifting from behind me, but I didn't bother to look up. A small, quiet sniffle was heard before a leather-clad hand came into my view. As I took it and allowed Jervis to help me up, I felt incredibly guilty. I looked away from him, not wanting to see the obvious pain in his eyes.

"You didn't have to help me. In fact, you shouldn't have." I told him solemnly. No words were exchanged within the next few moments. It was only when he began to walk away that I decided to speak up.

"I'm sorry." I apologized. He stopped in his tracks, turning to me. I saw it in his eyes, pity and hurt. He ventured back to me, placing his gloved hand under my chin, forcing me to look at him once more.

"Juno, my sweet innocent Juno, this isn't your fault." He reassured. I choked back a sob, collapsing in his arms. Now it was my turn for a break down. I knew that the image of her would be burned into my mind, turn pleasant dreams into nightmares, plague me for the rest of my life. As he held me close, running his fingers through my golden locks, I listened to his heartbeat. It was so soothing, I wanted to completely forget about what happened tonight, start over, I wanted to listen to his heartbeat every night as we doze off.

"It's James Gordon's fault." He uttered darkly. I looked up at him, eyebrows furrowed in a stern yet confused look.

"Jervis..." I trailed off. He looked down at me, an angered expression on his face. Instead of answering me immediately, he began to walk me inside. His arm was draped over my shoulder and I clutched onto it, my head resting on his shoulder as I let my silent tears flow. If I hadn't saw her lifeless corpse strewed upon the pole, there wouldn't be much of a difference in our daily life. It would feel as if she were running again, avoiding us. But that isn't the case anymore, she was gone. I missed her already, I was certain that she wasn't mad at me, I was certain that she wasn't avoiding me as well, it was only Jervis. And I understood why. I understood perfectly. 

As he sat next to me on our shared bed, I suddenly felt disgusted. After she told me what he did to her, I couldn't believe that I let myself care for him again. I couldn't believe that I helped him escape. Not only that, but I let him kiss me, I let him touch me. Granted, I had no clue about what he did to her at the time, but now it made me feel awful. Had he been thinking of her the entire time? Had he been pretending I was her when we had sex? These thoughts made me sick, they made me want to scream and cry and tear at anything and everything in sight. I was beginning to feel used.

"We have to leave this place..." He began, pulling me out of my thoughts. My head snapped in his direction as I was hit with a million more questions. There was only one that I was able to get out.

"Why?"

"They could have followed us, they could know." He explained. I crossed my arms and shook my head.

"Jervis that's ridiculous." I told him. He stood, rushing to the other side of the room and opening up several drawers on the dresser before making his way to the closet, throwing it open and grabbing a suitcase and placing it on the edge of the bed. My heart dropped as I realized he was serious. I didn't want to leave this paradise of a home, and I didn't want to stay if Jervis wasn't going to be here.

"Please, Jervis, just listen to me..." I attempted to get his attention. He kept pacing around the room, grabbing articles of clothing and other random items and shoving them in the suitcase. I felt the tears well up again. I stood up, wanting to attract as much attention to myself so he knew I was serious.

"Don't. W-we don't have to leave, we could just lay low and they'd never find us." I tried to convince him. He shook his head, turning around and looking at me with a fire in his eyes.

"How can I lay low knowing that my sweet sister's murderer is still out there." I held back a gag. He grasped onto my upper arms, looking me straight in the eyes.

"He needs to pay for what he's done. And if you think I'm going to sit here and play nuclear family with you... you're wrong." My breathing became heavy as I held back my tears, but my sadness was quickly replaced with rage. I pushed myself away from him, turning around, throwing my hands up in frustration. As I heard him approach me, I grabbed Antique, pointing her at him as a warning.

"Don't come near me." I warned him shakily. He held his hands up, backing away. I watched his hands closely, making sure he wasn't going to reach for his pocket watch. I felt as if I were finally being pushed over the edge, after everything that's happened in the last few hours, I'm surprised it took this long.

"Don't reach for your pocket watch either. I'll chop off your hands if you try." I told him. He nodded, standing there watching me closely. It was almost as if he knew I wasn't going to kill him. I dropped my arm with a sigh.

"You promised." I said in a tone barely above a whisper. Jervis stepped closer.

"What?" He asked. I looked at him with a hurt and furious expression.

"You promised." I told him, a bit louder this time. He shook his head with a smile, chuckling a bit before answering me.

"I don't know what you're-" I glared at him, raising my arm again to point Antique accusingly.

"Don't give me that bullshit. You know exactly what I'm talking about." I stopped, turning away from him and walking toward the nightstand.

"You're just too upset to admit it." I finished quietly. I heard him approach once more, feeling the cool leather of his glove touch my shoulder. I didn't react, I only muttered a single word.

"Go." I told him. His other hand made its way to my hip. I felt myself snap once more, turning around abruptly and grabbing his wrist.

"Go, if you're so determined to hurt this innocent man then go! I don't need this. I don't need you here making me miserable!" I yelled. In the blink of an eye, his lips were on mine and his free hand was cradling my face. My eyes were wide open with shock. This time, I refused to let him win. I refused to let him take advantage of me once more. My hand flew up, coming into contact with his cheek, leaving a bright red mark on it. He stumbled backward, his hand coming up to feel at the irritated skin.

"Just go! That isn't going to fucking work on me anymore, Jervis! I want you to leave! Just fucking go." I told him. He glared at me, straightening himself out and closed the suitcase. His entire demeanor had completely changed within these few seconds. His cold glare sent a shiver up my spine and I had feared that I had done something terribly wrong. As he made his way around the room to pick up a few more items, not a single word was spoken. But just as he opened the door, he spoke.

"I already lost someone close to me tonight, I didn't expect to lose another." His words had broken me even more, but I did not dare say another word. I wasn't going to let him win, not again. He opened the door, stepping outside, but before he closed it he spoke once more.

"I love you, Juno." I didn't respond. In fact, that was just angering me more, how determined he was to drag me in this mess with him. I was already in too deep, but I wanted no part in this anymore. It was over, I have no reason to be a part in this anymore. Instead, I will grieve over my dead best friend like a normal human being.

As soon as I heard the front door close, I broke down into tears. I loved him so much, but I couldn't keep doing this. I realized this, and I needed to do what was best for me. I rolled over onto his side of the bed, burying my face in his pillow and taking a long sniff. I missed him already, and I don't think I'll be able to move on.

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