Broken

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  • Published: 3 Feb 2017
  • Updated: 25 Feb 2017
  • Status: Complete
"I can't love you, no matter how I want to. Every time I let anyone close, they end up getting killed. It's best for you to just forget me. Trust me. "
-Storm

"I can't love you, even though it hurts for me not to. I just can't put you through that. I can never forget you, but I can leave you. It's best that way. Even though this will hurt you, you'll be alive"
-Asher

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2. Long Night/ Asher

I don’t know what’s worse. The thought of losing another worker, or the thought of having to find another one. Trevor just isn't cut out for this, I could tell his mind wanders a lot. But it makes the body slow when your mind is doing something  and your body trying to do the opposite. When he first joined us I thought it would be an improvement. Hannah,  Jasper, Jason, Dakota, Dana, and Liam think differently. Their the only people I trust around here, they know what their doing. Well maybe not Dana, the only thing she’s good at is playing games in the dark. Do I care for her? Not at all. I don’t care for any of them. The last time I cared for anyone was Alex. I thought we had something. But it was all a lie, her feeling, her words, her everything. The second I found out what she was hiding it took one second to put her down. At night when I let myself sleep, her face haunts my dreams. The long blond hair that surrounded her face, those blue eyes that seen everything, her perfect white skin, and the way she laughed made me feel something in the cold and broken heart of mine. And the only way to get rid of the dream is by repeating what I did to her. The barrel of the gun resting under her perfect chin, the way her tears fell like diamonds, I remember looking into those eyes of hers and thinking, should I do it? I then looked up at the night sky. And pulled the trigger. I shake my head and take another puff of the cigarette in my hand. Blowing out the toxic white cloud and watching it fade into nothingness  I think. Why can’t our problems disappear like that? I take a few more puffs and look up at the starry night sky. My mom used to tell me that every time a person died their re-born into a star. What bullsh-

“Hey there tiger”

The sound of Dana’s high pitched voice shakes my thoughts. God I hate her voice! Her bony arms wrap around my chest.

“What Cha do' in?”  

“Just thinking about Trevor”

“Eww. That guy. Just get rid of him already.”

“I will when the time comes”

“I think the time is now”

I think it’s time for me to release you back into the wild from once you came.

Awwwww. Asher would you please do it for me”

“I’m not doing anything for you”

Her arms let go of me, and she walks in front of me with her arms folded and a pouty face on. I can’t believe she thinks that is cute.

I take one last puff of my cig and throw it to the ground.

“Night”

I say to her when I brush past her. I climb up the stairs on the side of the warehouse to the my room which is just a shack built onto the side of building. I open my door and slam it shut and lock it, I don’t feel like playing hide the zucchini tonight. I turn on a light by the bed and walk over to the desk, reaching under I pull out a sketchbook. Opening the drawers I grab a couple of colored pencils. Drawing keeps me up. I open up the sketchbook and sit in the chair by the desk and skim through the already used ones. A drawing of a train, a dog, a bridge, a little girl being pushed on the swings by her dad, and a drawing of my mother. I tried to make her look identical to the picture in my locket hidden under my shirt. But the eyes are off a little which upsets me. I flip to the next page and start to draw the outline of a person.

                

                                                                        XXXXX


 

Three hours later the image is complete. A hooded stranger and a fat lady I seen today on Kurtz street. It was fast, they way the stranger bumped into the fat lady and taking her wallet as quick as a flash. Stranger’s voice sounded female, my first thought was the leader of the Renegades. But I knew it wasn't when I saw her throw away the wallet along with the credit cards, and seeing her give the homeless man a share of her money. I wanted to follow her more just to make sure, I knew I could do it. It seems her mind was wandering. But I just couldn't do it. I still don’t know why. She would have been a great worker here. I close the sketchbook and look at the clock by my bedside 12:20am. The bed with the sheets all messed up looks cozy. The familiar feeling of sleepiness scratches at the back of my mind.  With a long sigh and get off the chair and lay on the bed. Reaching in my shirt I pull out the silver locket, with a slow motion I open it. The picture of my mom and me as child makes my eyes water. I bring the locket closer to my lips and kiss it. The only sound I hear is the locket closing with a snap, and I fall in a ocean of sleep.



 

Snowflakes fall to the ground, the moon makes the fresh powder sparkle. The cold metal of the gun burns my hands. I know where I am, and I know what I’m about to do. The whisper of voices are barely heard. I know one voice very well. Alex. I listen to them talk.

“Find out anything interesting?”

“Yes I have. Asher is planning to do a huge drop off”

“Where”

“A warehouse. A couple miles from here”

“Good girl. So what's your status with Asher anyway”

“Don’t worry, Asher is wrapped around my little finger”

“Good keep it that way”

I could feel my body feel with red hot liquid, I step out of my little hiding spot and aim the barrel of my gun at the pricks head. I will never forget the look on his. The way his eyes widen in horror, and the last sound he made was a gasp. My bullet went flying through his bald head. Alex screamed in horror and fell to the ground. I looked at her face covered in blood.

“I was never wrapped around your worthless finger”

Her face was frozen in fear as she realize what was about to happen.

“Asher this is crazy! Put the gun down!”

“Why should I?”

“Because you love me. And I love you too”

Anger now controlled my body, rocks grinded under my boots as I walked towards her. When I reached her I picked up by her neck and slammed her into the train cars.

“Asher please!”

“I never loved you. You were just another pet that got my mind off the chaos in my life. Now I don’t need you. So I don’t see why you’re living anymore”

The words burned in my throat as I said them. I fought to keep back tears. I put the barrel of the gun under her quivering chin.

“Asher stop!”

I looked her in the eyes. Tears spilled down her cheeks. I looked up at the night sky and rethink what I’m about to do. I pull the trigger. And everything fades into darkness.


 

My eyes snap open and the darkness disappeared . The only sound you can hear is the crickets that sing their songs outside. I glance at the clock, 5:38am. It’s obvious I can no long sleep, I get up and walk to the door. Just as I’m about walk through I decide to take shower. Reaching under my bed I grab the little shower bag and look for a spare change on clothes. I always thought it was weird that I kept my room clean and my clothes neatly folded. I grab a pair of dark blue jeans and a white T-shirt. Reaching for the door handle just in time for a faint knock to sound.

“Hey. I know you’re up. Let me in. We could play for a while”

She amazes me, how could someone be so stupid and annoying at the same time? I stand at the door unsure of what to do. I just want to take a shower, and start the day maybe see if Dakota is up for run. But if I open this door Dana will think I let her in.

“Asher it’s freezing out here in my little lingerie. You know the black ones, your favorite”

Just go away Dana!

I plead silently. I look at the window by my bed. It’s a long drop, probably break a leg trying to get away from Dana. But if I could swing myself to the water spout mounted to the warehouse edge I could get down without a problem. I tie the shower bag’s strap around the back of my belt loop and open the window as quiet as possible. I tiptoe in the ledge and push myself to the spout. When I make contact with the there was a little bang, nothing too loud to make Dana look. I make it to the ground and start heading for the warehouse doors.

“Hey!”

Christ

“Where are you going? And how did you get out withou-”

“Because I didn’t want to be bothered, and if I told you to leave me the hell alone you would probably run off crying”

“You could be a bit nicer about it Asher”

“When will you learn that I’m no nice guy”

I go into the warehouse before she could say another word. I walk in and see Dakota and Jasper are playing pool, Liam and Hannah are doing their thing on the couch. The rest of them are sleeping. I only let the people I trust stay at the warehouse, the workers stay where they want. Only the impressive ones can be brought here. I walk past them, Dakota smile and I give her a nod of my head. I always liked Dakota, in a sister way. Her childish ways and the her expertise in the field just make her likeable. But I can’t feel for her, who knows what might happen in the future. Walking up stairs to the shower room, I wonder what the day might have in store for us.

 

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