Winnie Resigns

everything is about is My story, is real thoughts, experience

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3. Anxiety

Dear diary,

I have anxiety, I have it so bad, I think the most harsh things about myself. I don’t even see myself as a human or pretty person anymore. I just see myself as a disappointment. Something that everyone wants to get rid of, Im sick of myself. Im just never good enough, im a disappointment to everyone even my own mum. Sometimes I feel she wants a different daughter because I suck at everything I cant do anything right, Im tired, I cry every day and hope it will better the next but..... its all the same. I have so much fears and so much pain inside me, idk how I am even surviving right now. Im in tears right now. I feel everyone really hates me and doesn’t want to say it to me to my face. I feel that dying wont be a problem to anyone, Idk what to do. Im so scared to tell someone because idk whats wrong with me, “Your such a slut winnie” “ your own dad left you because he doesnt want you” that’s just some things I say about myself. I honestly feel like giving up because im so tired of trying to be perfect for everyone... no matter what, Im just not good. I pray for a better day. Idk whats wrong with me or why im always sad. Sometimes idek I just give up because I always have something negative about myself, Im never sad or hurt infront of ppl because it’s a sense of weakness and im not the type who shows weakness... why am I like this, what is this, idek why I have it. Is there a cure for this, I really hope there’s a cure PLEASE GIVE ME IT. I really do need it anyways I just had a massive break down. I use to noot eat, I use to not eat, I would eat infront of people and then go to the bathroom and then throw up in the toilet, I have done it many times for probably more than 3 months straight, I did it cause of people telling me I ate alot, Im fat and im not good looking, i i continue eating I will look like someone on the biggest loser.....  but Im good now. I just need time to finish crying and scram a littlle at my pillow and then I will be good xx

Winnie xx

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