Kingdom of Angels

After being abandoned by the world, Three- Twenty did the only thing he could do, die. Except as he almost succeeded, a hand reached out to him and showed him what it means to live.
Now with friends, Three- Twenty confess his past and his power, which is related to the now looming threat over the city. Faced against angels who plan to demolish the entire city and kill off the Mixed Bloods, and their own demons within, it is questionable as to who will live and who will die.
Follow Three- Twenty and Tear Drop as they fight against time and monsters to find saftey for themselves and others.


25. 25

~Tear Drop~


 Wrapped in my arms still Three- Twenty laid in deep sleep. After crying for nearly an hour he fell asleep, still tear stained and blotchy. My heart silently throbbed to see Three- Twenty go through his past like. We learned more about the orphanage and possibily more about the angels, but at the cost of the mental stability of Three- Twenty. I am sure that he is happy to have found Pidge, his old friend from the orphanage, but to learn about what went on there, all those deaths must be taking a toll on him.

 I seen the guilt and the anger and anguish take over Three- Twenty while Pidge talked, I seen how he was barely holding it together. Automatically I knew that I had to get him out of there, and I was right. As he collapsed in my arms I understood that he didn't want anyone to see him like this, to know that he can't cope yet with what he learned. 

 Still wrapped up in my thoughts my phone buzzed in my pocket. Slowly and steadily I got out of bed and made sure to not wake up Three- Twenty. Taking out my phone I looked at the caller, Beanie. "Hello?" I answered.

 "Is he okay?" Beanie asked. "We all just got back to the office building and I got in my dorm. What happened?" His voice was filled with geniune concern. In the background I heard Glasses ask if he needs to get Three- Twenty something to help make him feel better. To know that Glasses was also worried made me feel a little bit better, Three- Twenty was not alone anymore. He is safe and loved, he will always be those things.

 "He didn't know about what Pidge told us and it is hard on him. He just needed to be alone for a while, he is sleeping now." I let them know and remembered about what Three- Twenty asked before he fell asleep. "Hey, we are painting the apartment tomorrow. Did you want to help?" I asked.

 A moment didn't even passed before Beanie agreed. "Of course! I will ask around to see who can help out but it's going to be hectic around here so I don't know who can come." He paused for a moment to ask Glasses if he could help out but his response was muffled so I couldn't make it out. "Glasses said no because he wants to find the hacker and the full extent as to what was accessed. I can ask Pidge if she wants to come, she most likely will say yes since I could tell she misses Three- Twenty a lot. When I am done I will get back to you."

 Without waiting for my response he hung up, leaving me in silence. The hallway light was off making the dim moonlight and the few lights outside to illuminate the space around me. Soon enough the silence became deafening, an emotion I haven't felt since I met Three- Twenty washing over me. 

 Loneliness. Why was it making an apperance now? If anything I was far from being alone, but right now it feels as if I am trapped in a small cage. Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes to steady myself. Layered over the loneliness was fear, something that I would allow myself to feel. The fear of losing everyone and everything that I have, the fear of being powerless in a future situation, it was something that always lingered in the back of my mind. It churned in my stomach, a feeling of queasiness not leaving even after I sat down on the couch.

 For a long time now I have turned a blind eye to my emotions, not fully paying attention to them or handling them well. Now all those emotions that I have surpressed is starting to become unbearable, uncontrolable in a way. My heart started to beat faster as the emotions of loneliness, fear, worry, and a twinge of sadness clawed its way out of the area I locked it in near my heart. Trying to pry the emotions apart and know where they steamed from, my eyes drifted shut and sleep took me without my knowledge.

 It seemed like a few minutes went by since I closed my eyes in the dark only to open them to a soft morning light that filtered in through the white curtains. An aroma of coffee drifted around me. Curious I sat up and was greeted to Three- Twenty sitting next to my feet on the floor. His long hair splayed around his shoulders with the light shining in his face. "You're up?" I asked, surprised that he was already awake.

 "I woke up about an hour ago." He responded with a soft tone. "What are you doing out here?"

 "Beanie called me last night and to not wake you up I took it out here. I guess I fell asleep without realizing it." I told him. Looking at him face more clearly I noted how his eyes were a little swollen from crying last night and still held grief. Gently I laid my hand on his shoulder and kissed the top of his head. "How are you feeling?"

 Three- Twenty leaned into my touch as if to seek out comfort. "Better. I am still angry though, I don't think I will ever stop being angry about what is happening and what has happened." He admitted. "I am in control of it though." 

 What he said reminded me of my feelings last night. How strong they were and how useless I was to control them. "Three- Twenty?" I spoke to get his attention. "I want to talk to you about a few things. I think that if I talked about them then I will feel better, it feels like everything is becoming chaotic inside of me right now and it has been since I let myself open to my emotions again. Will you... please let me tell you some things."


 "When I was in boarding school I was put in there at the same time as a different boy who recently lost his parents. They were in some kind of cult, and they took their own lives along with others after they realized what was going inside of the cult. The boy was left alone until someone found him, luckily it was someone from our world. He named himself Giggles, trying to get rid of his old name. Before I knew about his past and his parents, I thought his name suited him well. 

 "He would always smile, laugh, and cheer others on. It was like he was an angel or something. The two of us became friends quickly and over the years we spent together, either it being just the two of us or with Hammer and them, I slowly fell in love with him. Of course I didn't realize that at first, we were just children when we met.

 "At the boarding school he was picked on by other boys since he was small and weak. One time when I wasn't around to help him when he was getting beaten up, Beanie came to his rescue. From there on I hung out with Beanie, Glasses, and Hammer. It was the five of us against the world, at least it felt that way sometimes. All five of us became inseperable, and when we left the boarding school we all stayed together.

 "We formed Crimson Dagger with hopes that we could try and bring some peace of mind to world this, duel out punishment we felt we needed to give, but also from the government. At first when we started it was hard, taking lives and staining our hands gave us nightmares and to me at least, it felt as if I signed my contract to go to hell. After years it slowly became more managable and most of us could force ourselves to forget what we have done.

 "Except for Giggles. I should have known that doing this sort of thing was too much for him to handle. I should have known that something was wrong with him after our first task. I am pretty sure that I did guess that something was amiss with him but I was too wrapped up in my own pain and problems to focus on anything or anyone. It was only me who was taken care of, Giggles was left without anyone to help him. And I hate myself so much for not helping him, not trying to save him from himself.

 "Slowly he became different. Before he was happy, he smiled almost all the time and found joy in the littlest of things. His curiosity got the best of him so much but that was a quirk I found so amazing and loveable. I can't remember when he changed though, all I remember was that he grew distant from everyone. He used to stay up the night before we completed a task, memorizing all the details and profiles of our targets. Giggles power was light, he could produce light in any darkness or take it away. 

 "You know how they say that when there is light there is always a shadow? Well, Giggles' shadow started to grow until it was all that was left. At this point everyone started to worry about him but we didn't know how to help him, how to reach him and make him come back to who he use to be. We were too late to help him. I was too fucking late to help him. I couldn't fucking save the one person who meant the world to me, I couldn't stop being selfish to help him, Three- Twenty." My hands started to shake and tears stung my eyes as I recalled the powerlessness I felt when I tried to save Giggles. 

 "I am such a bad person. I should have been the one to have died, I should have died instead of him!" Since I started talking tears uncontrollably fell down, my voice cracking as I spoke. My heart that I thought was healed started to fall apart again as I recalled the past. "I deserve to go to hell, to have such terrible punishment since I couldn't save him. He was someone who was so innocent, who shouldn't have known the amount of death that is out there, who shouldn't have been exposed to such darkness for his full life.

 "Yet he was exposed. I made him exposed to it. If he didn't stay with me, if he didn't love me, then he would have been okay. He would still be alive and the same Giggles that he was." Three- Twenty's arms wrapped around me, trying to offer me comfort when there was none. His warmth seeped into my skin and it was revolting. I shouldn't be able to feel this, I shouldn't be able to be allowed to have someone love me, to care for me. Not when I couldn't do that to Giggles, not when he was dead.

 Shoving Three- Twenty away I curled up into myself. Hatred and anger boiled inside of me and it was irritating because there was nothing I could do to fix this. I was the cause for all of this. I am the one to be blamed. I hated myself so much to a point where it was hard to continue on. "He killed himself because he couldn't handle anything anymore! He took his own life because all of the horrible things that he lived with finally got the best of him. He didn't even tell anyone, I didn't even say good bye!

 "When we went out on a task to take out a factory that was being used to smuggle drugs and people, he decided to blow the place up. Fuck! It's my fault he died. My fault he killed all those people! It's all my fucking fault and I couldn't save him!" I vaguely recognized that I was screaming by now and that Three- Twenty was holding me once more since the tears and the past started to eat away my consiousness.

 How could I allow Giggles to be alone? How could I be so selfish and a terrible person, yet still be alive. To have found someone who cares for me. It doesn't make sense, I should be dead with Giggles. No, I should have died instead of Giggles. He was the one who has to live, who should be alive. 

 It could have been seconds, minutes, even days that passed by until I came back to my senses. My eyes were in pain from crying and my body was shaking, Three- Twenty whispered comforting words to me as he held me, rocking me back and forth like I was some lost child. "Shhh. It's okay Tear, it's okay. Everything will get better, I promise you that everything will get better. Shhh. I love you Tear. It's okay, I got you." He repeatedly spoke such things, constantly saying that he loved me and that he was here for me. How everyone was here for me.

 Finally regaining control of myself I wrapped my arms around Three- Twenty, burrying my face in the crook of his neck. "Why do I deserve another chance at this? At love?" I asked. "I shouldn't be allowed to love. To have anyone love me."

 Three- Twenty's arms tightened around me, tendons in his neck tensing as he clenched his jaw. "You deserve so much Tear. It's not your fault, I promise you that it is not your fault. It is no ones fault, blame fate for what has happened if you need to. No one could have changed what has happened, no matter how much you wish for it." Gently he peppered kisses on me, trying to soothe me still. "You have so much people in your life who cares for you Tear. They all love you and so did Giggles. I know that he wouldn't want you to feel this way about what happened, I know that he wouldn't want you to punish yourself for his actions. He would be sad if he saw you like this."

 "How do you know that? Why are you saying such things? You don't even know him." My voice was more harsh than I wanted it to be but I could hardly care about my tone at this moment. 

 "Because when you love someone, you don't want them to ever be in pain. You don't want them to destroy theirself." He said. That made my heart squeeze in pain. If you loved someone and didn't want them to be in pain or destroy theirself does that mean that I never loved Giggles? I recognized his pain but couldn't do anything about it, I didn't even try at first. I was so selfish. It wasn't until that Three- Twenty started to talk again did I realized that I was voicing my thoughts without knowing it. "No. No, don't think that way. You did see his pain but only when you could, only when he allowed you to see it. And I know that you and everyone else tried to help him but he was too far gone with his pain. Don't say you didn't love him Tear because you did. I can tell even now after all this time."

 Lifting my head I looked into his eyes. They were bright with unshed tears, filled with so much concern and love and truth. He was here for me, trying to help me find my way and get through these emotions that I have been hoarding. This time when my heart squeezed it was because I felt so cherished and loved. I didn't know how to thank him for listening to me, to simply being here to hold me when I was breaking down. So instead of using words I kissed him, trying to convey what I felt towards him in this singular action. Trying to let him know how grateful I was for him, how much I fell for him so far, promising him that these feelings will only continue to grow as time passed.

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