Her demons kept her from living. But what everyone didn't know....was that she needed them to survive.


4. Chapter 1


2 Months Later

His eyes smiled. Those little lines formed beautifully around the edges, making him look childish and youthful. His shoulders, always so tight and high from stress caused on by Ro, are now low and relaxed as he sits beside me. The way his glasses intensified the crystallized blue in his eyes always makes me feel at home.

“We did really good today, Lucille.” Dr. Mathers says with a genuine smile.

You think so? I sure hope so, Henry. I’d like to go home by Christmas. Maybe patch things up with Kai and pick up from where I left off.” I admit sheepishly, while picking at the hangnails on my fingers. His large, tan and warm hands lay on top of mine and push them to my lap.

“You just might. I don‘t foresee any problems in the future, do you?” He asks, tilting his head to look at my cowered face.

Would there be any problems? If I could get out of here by Christmas, I wouldn’t ever have to come back. 

Ugh, could you get any sappier? My God, Lucille. Do us both a favor and leave the corny dramatics for the normals. 

His teeth are weird.

That’s because they aren’t all capped like Veronica’s, Titch. She had hers surgically made to look that way.

She’s so pretty Lu, when can we see her again?

If she was smart, you won’t see her ever again. You nearly killed her last time you two were in the same room.

I just wanted to touch her. She smelled so nice and her body said things I liked.

Titch, we talked about this. You can’t do that to people. I mean thank God, the orderlies came before you do any real damage. When it comes to women, you can’t touch, okay?

But, Veronica-

No, Titch. Not even women like Veronica.

“Are you okay, Lucille?” Henry asked, placing his hand on mine as it clutched my head tightly.

Yeah, I‘m fine doctor.” I stated with a smile.

We’d be even better if he shoved his-

I TH-ink I have a headache, is all. Just a really….bad, headache.” I lied, mentally scolding Ro for her shameless tongue.

He runs his coarse fingertips along my temple and somehow it calms me. My eyes close willingly and I curl my fingers around his hand.

“I‘ll see if I can get Veronica, to come give you something for it.” He says with a sympathetic smile. His once happy eyes are now lowered with concern for me.

That‘d be great.” I say with a small smile.

For the second time that day I looked up at him and felt Ro and Titch melt away into white noise. 

“You try to get some rest and I‘ll come by in a few days to catch up, okay?” He asks for reassurance, while removing himself from my touch.

Okay, Henry.” I reply with the same smile as before.

“Don‘t forget to call me Dr. Mathers around the others, alright? We don‘t need me getting moved to another ward - or fired.” He teases with a breathy chuckle.

I won‘t, Hen- I mean Dr. Mathers.” I correct with a giggle. He ruffles my hair like a little kid and walks out leaving me hopeless.

Oh for crying out loud. Will you just screw him and get it over with? Everyone here knows you two are dying to get into each other’s pants.

Ro! That’s a very un-lady like thing to say! Take it back, right now!

I will do no such thing. Let’s not forget who the alpha is, got it….Cil? 

I can feel her trying to take me over again, the tingling lingers everywhere and the sound of her thoughts are clouding me over. No, no. I will not let her this time!


I scream at her while squeezing my head tightly. When I open my eyes, Veronica is standing in my doorway with a cup of water and a white medicine cup.

Sorry, Veronica. This headache is really getting on my nerves.” I say, hoping she’ll buy it.

“It‘s fine dear, it‘s called a migraine. I think it was all the testing you did today. Too many machines and not enough relax time, I‘m afraid.” She says, handing me the cups as she walks toward my bed.

As I follow her to it from the visitor chairs, I watch her examine my chart. She eyes it carefully and then once I’m seated, places it back.

“You‘ve got a free schedule tomorrow, any plans?” She wonders with a smile. 

She’s doing it again, Lu. That smile…it’s driving me crazy.

Not now, Titch.

But, Lu-

Don’t look, Titch. If you look, I’ll be forever cross with you and we won’t have our talks anymore.

He looks away and I return the smile to Veronica.

Nope, maybe just wander around. Keep on the lobby floor so I‘m not interfering with you guys.” I say, thinking what I could do tomorrow.

“Actually, I won‘t be working tomorrow. Tomorrow‘s my day off, too!” She says excitedly.

Oh my- Could she be anymore obvious to the fact that she likes you and wants to hang out with you? Wait, this could work to our advantage. Say yes, Cil.

What do you mean ‘say yes’ I thought you hated her? Not to mention, don’t I get a say in this?

Of course I hate her, but if you leave with her tomorrow then that means you’ll be leaving the hospital. Which means, my oh so slow to grasp friend….we can leave earlier than Christmas.

Please say yes, Lu. I want to see the pretty lady tomorrow, too.

I watch Titch say this with eyes closed, but know there’s a longing in his eyes and feel compelled to do as they say.

“Lucille?” Veronica wonders, coming around to my side of the bed. Her long, square and fake nails touch my cheek as she puts her hand on it.

“Are you alright, dear? The medicine should kick in soon.” She promises with a sympathetic smile.

She smells of violets and whiskey. Which makes me wonder when she started drinking…

I‘m fine, sorry. I must be tired.” I lie again. They’re making me do that a lot today and I hate them for it. As I look up at her I finally notice what she’s wearing, up until now her white coat concealed most of it. It most certainly isn’t appropriate work attire and I’m curious how she got through the day without it being called to attention. 

Her black satin shirt - which isn’t a shirt but a corset with a brassier - leaves no imagination to the size of her chest. The lace at the top settles enticingly over the skin of her breasts. The only coverage her body has, is in her skirt and even still it’s just at knee length. It still forms to her curved body and voluptuous form.

Oh, I‘m sorry.” I say sheepishly, when I notice she’s seen me staring.

“I don‘t mind, darling. As a matter of fact I‘m the one that should be apologizing. I was on my way to the changing rooms when Henry caught up with me. Naturally I figured since we shared the same anatomy, you wouldn‘t mind. But maybe I should‘ve buttoned up my shirt again before coming in.” She states, looking to her chest and revealing top. I blink with wide eyes and a lowered head as I try to figure out something to say.

Let me talk to her.

No! The last time you two spoke, you lost your temper and Titch had an episode! The last thing we need is trouble.

Can I look now?

No! No!

No, Titch, not now okay? I’ll tell you when.

Look, the last time we spoke she knew she was talking to me. So she knew what buttons to press. Hmph, the poor thing just didn’t know she was pressing, jabbing, and stroking all of Titch’s buttons too.

Buh, buh, buh! That’s enough, thank you.

Anyway, the point is…this time she thinks she’s talking to you. So she won’t be pressing any buttons and will think she’s in the clear. Look, I’m not mad and I don’t plan to be. Let me have her.

But, Titch wants her…

Dammit, Titch! Not like that!

Ugh! This is incredibly stupid…..but I’m too embarrassed to say anything, so go ahead.


My back is arched inward and my neck is cracked as I come out. With a clearing sigh, I open my eyes again and stare at an expectant Veronica.

Sorry, I had a muscle tick. I think it‘s cute. But, can I see something a moment?” I ask softly, so she thinks it’s embarrassing me to ask. She stares at me curiously and blinks a few times before saying,

“Sure, go ahead.” and opening her coat wider for me. Her hands placed strategically on her hourglass hips.

With slow and careful movements I watch her eyeing me skeptically. My hand reaches out toward her and I place it on the front of her black laced corset. My fingers play idly with the straps as I work my way up her stomach. I don’t look up at her face, instead I bring the other hand out and run it along the ruffled lace on her side. Her arms relax and I feel her physically melt into my wandering touch.

Ro, don’t do anything stupid. 

Relax, Cil. I’m hardly even touching her. It’s not my fault she thinks our small hands came from the heavens.

We’re touching, Veronica?

No, no Titch. Look at me okay?

Sigh, but now this isn’t fun anymore. It’s too easy. 

I release her and sigh in a bored manner. She’s still standing there with eyes closed when I have to call her back.

Mrs. Loiston? I‘m through.” I state, watching her eyes pop open. She blinks a few time and sighs in an almost disappointing manner. 

“What was it you were looking for, exactly?” She asks, closing up her long lab coat.

I wanted to see if it was the same material and style that my mother makes. She runs her own ladies boutique for clothing such as this.” I say, my tone so sickening sweet that I feel like heaving.

“Is it?” She wonders, her hands going in her coat pockets.

I look to her and watch her figure sway slowly from left to right. Dammit, these drugs were messing with our head.

“Here, let me help you,” I hear Veronica say, just before our head meets the cool side of the pillow. My eyes remain closed as the world under us sways in a rocking motion. 

What did she give us, Ro?

Titch feels sick. Make it stop, make it STOP!

A warm and familiar hand slides down our side slowly, just until it reaches the hip.

“Meet me in the lobby tomorrow. We‘ll find something fun to do, won‘t we Ro?” Veronica whispers in our ear.

She knew it was you! Ro, how could she know?

Why doesn’t Veronica talk to me, Lu?

She’s bluffing…I hope.

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