Blurryface |Joshler|

Tyler Joseph. Blurryface. Tyler Joseph. Blurryface. Tyler Joseph. Blurryface. Blurryface. Blurryface. Blurryface.
TRIGGER WARNING SELF HARM

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8. Confrontation

The blade was pressed against the wrist of a tattooed arm. It pressed down and there was a yelp. It trailed down his arm and before he knew it he was carving words into himself.

"Goner," Josh read aloud.

It had been two years since Tyler had come home with Jenna. Only a few weeks since they had gotten married. 

Josh stared at the word for a moment, wondering why he'd written it.

I'm a goner. Somebody catch my breath.

The lyrics popped into his head and he quickly pulled out his journal, scribbling it down. He would leave it on Tyler's bunk when he got the chance. 

Tyler and Josh were still friends, best friends, and it, in fact, was almost like they were never together at all. Like it had been one big dream.

One big, beautiful dream.

When he finished writing, he grabbed the blade again and pressed down. Fresh blood, red like his new hair color, oozed from the wound and it hurt like hell, but he didn't stop.

He wouldn't stop hurting himself until he stopped hurting on the inside.

There was suddenly a faint knock on the door.

"Josh?"

Oh no, He thought when he heard his girlfriend, Debby's voice. He knew that he, too, had to move on.

"Y-yeah, babe?"

"You've been in there for awhile."

"That, uh, burrito from lunch didn't settle well."

He could almost hear the rolling of her eyes.

"Really?" 

"Uh huh."

There was a pause before she said quietly, "Are you hurting yourself again?"

"What? N-no!" Josh sputtered, frantically putting away the knife and rinsing his arm off in the sink. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yep!" Josh wrapped some bandages around the three marks and the word before stepping out into the hallway to come face to face with the red-haired girl with the nose ring.

"Let me see," She ordered.

"Wha-"

"Your arm."

Not knowing what to do, he slowly lifted his arm up towards her. She rolled up his sleeve and there was a hitch in her breath.

"You have been hurting yourself."

"No, I fell and scraped my arm."

Debby sighed, peeling back the bandages just enough so she could read the word goner. "

"Yeah, you fell and scraped the word goner into your arm."

"I-I"

"No, we need to talk about this."

"I don-"

"We all do." 

She grabbed his hand, leading him into the kitchen of the tour bus where Jenna and Tyler were standing awkwardly. They must have heard the whole conversation.

"Hi?" Josh asked, glancing from Jenna to Tyler nervously.

"Josh, we want to help you," Jenna said, "Why are you hurting yourself?"

Because I love Tyler and he doesn't love me back.

Tyler leaned down to make eye contact with his short friend.

"Josh, what can we do to help you?"

Kiss me. Kiss me and tell me you love me, that your mine.

"I don't... Debby, I can't do this."

She placed a hand on my shoulder. "Yes, you can. Just tell us what's wrong."

I need Tyler. I love Tyler.

"I..." 

"Josh, please," Jenna whispered.

"Tyler knows," Josh blurted suddenly. 

He watched as Tyler's expression changed from concerned, to confused, to what looked to be shock or anger.

Oh, he'd screwed up. 

Suddenly he bolted from the bus, rushing outside into the night. The cold air hit him hard and it felt so uncomfortably chilly but so welcoming at the same time, welcoming him to a place to cry. He made his way over to a tree, which he climbed up until he was hidden in the leaves.

Tyler, Debby, and Jenna all stood in the bus, dumbfounded. 

"What do you know, Tyler?" Jenna asked.

"No idea," Tyler lied.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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